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SNIPER was bored. So what if monsters had begun attacking the city again? There was nothing he could do about it. If those other stupid idiots he sometimes called his friends wanted to try to stop them, let them. He didn't want to go looking for any stupid sword.
__________
"So where the hell has SNIPER gone now?" asked Your Honour, turning to the other members of the party.
Grix shrugged, there were much bigger things to worry about than the whereabouts of SNIPER.
Ant however had seen SNIPER disappear, so decided to speak up "Well, he said we were a bunch of stupid morons trying to find this sword, and went off that way." Ant pointed towards a meadow.
"Well if he doesn't care about our homes being destroyed and us being enslaved then so be it. I do, and I vow to find the Sword of Nogard, and slay those foul beasts that attack our homes!" Cried Your Honour, and the three of them set off into the forest.
___________
SNIPER continued to wander through the meadow, it was a beautiful day, the suns were bright and the sky clear. Walking through the waist high grass amongst the butterfly was something that always helped to cheer SNIPER up. Maybe he should catch up with his friends he thought, and he too headed for the forest.
___________
pb marched up to FantasyMeister. "You can't keep sending our men out to die! We only have limited resources, and cannot fight them out there in the fields!"
"Then what would you suggest pb, letting those beasts inside our city walls, letting them slaughter our wives and feed on our children?" Replied FM looking down on pb.
"But we cannot hold out forever. We need help!" said pb shaking his head, as he walked away.
___________
SNIPER's mood had again changed for the worse. Where were those stupid idiots now? SNIPER looked round to see something catching the light in a clearing nearby. Maybe it was his friends! He ran into the clearing.
Moments later he realised that it was not his friends in the clearing, but something much more special. Stuck in the ground was a sword. The sword of Nogard! As SNIPER approached it he suddenly felt a chill in the air. The skies had clouded over, and the wind had picked up to such an extent that the trees creaked. If SNIPER could retrieve the sword, he would be a hero! No more would he be laughed at!
SNIPER grabbed the sword and pulled with all of his might. He could feel the first drops of a violent rain storm lash against his face. Still he pulled on the sword, until it gave up it's hold on the ground. SNIPER could feel great power within him as he held it.
He held it toward the skies as a sign of victory.
_____________
Grix didn't like this change in the weather. Not one bit. Why had it changed so suddenly? He could feel something strange in the air. "That way!" He cried, pointing towards a clearing nearby as thunder crashed in his ears and lightning lit up the skies.
_____________
"Aaaarghhhh!" Cried SNIPER as he was thrown to the ground. A lightning bolt had struck the sword and flowed through his body.
_____________
Your Honour was the first into the clearing. "It's SNIPER" he said, "Or at least it was...." he said, looking at the charred remains of his former companion.
"It looks as if we weren't the first at the scene" Said Ant, pointing towards some footprints leading out of the clearing. Next to these was a strange track, much like that that would be left be a sword, being dragged through grass........
__________
"So where the hell has SNIPER gone now?" asked Your Honour, turning to the other members of the party.
Grix shrugged, there were much bigger things to worry about than the whereabouts of SNIPER.
Ant however had seen SNIPER disappear, so decided to speak up "Well, he said we were a bunch of stupid morons trying to find this sword, and went off that way." Ant pointed towards a meadow.
"Well if he doesn't care about our homes being destroyed and us being enslaved then so be it. I do, and I vow to find the Sword of Nogard, and slay those foul beasts that attack our homes!" Cried Your Honour, and the three of them set off into the forest.
___________
SNIPER continued to wander through the meadow, it was a beautiful day, the suns were bright and the sky clear. Walking through the waist high grass amongst the butterfly was something that always helped to cheer SNIPER up. Maybe he should catch up with his friends he thought, and he too headed for the forest.
___________
pb marched up to FantasyMeister. "You can't keep sending our men out to die! We only have limited resources, and cannot fight them out there in the fields!"
"Then what would you suggest pb, letting those beasts inside our city walls, letting them slaughter our wives and feed on our children?" Replied FM looking down on pb.
"But we cannot hold out forever. We need help!" said pb shaking his head, as he walked away.
___________
SNIPER's mood had again changed for the worse. Where were those stupid idiots now? SNIPER looked round to see something catching the light in a clearing nearby. Maybe it was his friends! He ran into the clearing.
Moments later he realised that it was not his friends in the clearing, but something much more special. Stuck in the ground was a sword. The sword of Nogard! As SNIPER approached it he suddenly felt a chill in the air. The skies had clouded over, and the wind had picked up to such an extent that the trees creaked. If SNIPER could retrieve the sword, he would be a hero! No more would he be laughed at!
SNIPER grabbed the sword and pulled with all of his might. He could feel the first drops of a violent rain storm lash against his face. Still he pulled on the sword, until it gave up it's hold on the ground. SNIPER could feel great power within him as he held it.
He held it toward the skies as a sign of victory.
_____________
Grix didn't like this change in the weather. Not one bit. Why had it changed so suddenly? He could feel something strange in the air. "That way!" He cried, pointing towards a clearing nearby as thunder crashed in his ears and lightning lit up the skies.
_____________
"Aaaarghhhh!" Cried SNIPER as he was thrown to the ground. A lightning bolt had struck the sword and flowed through his body.
_____________
Your Honour was the first into the clearing. "It's SNIPER" he said, "Or at least it was...." he said, looking at the charred remains of his former companion.
"It looks as if we weren't the first at the scene" Said Ant, pointing towards some footprints leading out of the clearing. Next to these was a strange track, much like that that would be left be a sword, being dragged through grass........
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Grix stopped chasing Sniper. Sniper stopped running, and walked up to Grix.
Grix hit him.
"You know Sniper... this plot doesn't make much sense. I was taken inside a huge hollowed out underground base... led through it on a tram, and then shoved into a cell with you... by another you, some sort of clone."
Sniper nursed his nose, paying no attention to Grix.
"And now, we walk out of a fair ride... There's something so familar about this..."
A small man walked along, scrubbing his monacle. "Hi Guybrush!"
"Err... what?"
The small man walked off into the distance.
"Hmmm."
Sniper got up from the floor. "We escaped. I don't care how. Lets just run for it."
So they did... well, for a few metres, when they tumbled and fell over a sheep lying on top of FantasyMeister.
Grix hit him.
"You know Sniper... this plot doesn't make much sense. I was taken inside a huge hollowed out underground base... led through it on a tram, and then shoved into a cell with you... by another you, some sort of clone."
Sniper nursed his nose, paying no attention to Grix.
"And now, we walk out of a fair ride... There's something so familar about this..."
A small man walked along, scrubbing his monacle. "Hi Guybrush!"
"Err... what?"
The small man walked off into the distance.
"Hmmm."
Sniper got up from the floor. "We escaped. I don't care how. Lets just run for it."
So they did... well, for a few metres, when they tumbled and fell over a sheep lying on top of FantasyMeister.
In the last episode of SHEEPY's magical adventures:
Sheepy approached the two statues. "One always lies, and one always tells the truth" he remembered being told.
Not that he could remember who told him, or even where he was, but he knew he had to choose the right door.
Two statues. Two doors. One question. One answer from each statue. One correct door to choose.
Simple. Everyone knew the answer to this puzzle, didn't they?
He approached the statues, and racked his brains for the correct question......
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"Ok, so one of you lies, and the other tells the truth eh? Ok, which one is the correct door? The one on the left, or the one on the right?"
SHEEPY looked at the first statue.
"Left." the first statue said.
"Right" the second statue said.
"Ok, that means that i have to go through the right-hand door" SHEEPY said, pleased with himself.
"How did you work that one out?" asked the first statue.
"Well, if statue no. 1 is lying, and statue no. 2 is telling the truth, then it must be right. If no 1 is telling the truth and no.2 is lying, it works out as well."
"No it doesn't".
"It bloody well does! I've been stuck in here for ages and anyway it worked for that girl in Labyrinth (what a hilarious hairstyle David Bowie had by the way). I'm going through the right hand door!"
SHEEPY strode off towards the right hand door, he opened it and stepped through with a flash.
He then fell 60 feet and landed on FM.
Sheepy approached the two statues. "One always lies, and one always tells the truth" he remembered being told.
Not that he could remember who told him, or even where he was, but he knew he had to choose the right door.
Two statues. Two doors. One question. One answer from each statue. One correct door to choose.
Simple. Everyone knew the answer to this puzzle, didn't they?
He approached the statues, and racked his brains for the correct question......
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"Ok, so one of you lies, and the other tells the truth eh? Ok, which one is the correct door? The one on the left, or the one on the right?"
SHEEPY looked at the first statue.
"Left." the first statue said.
"Right" the second statue said.
"Ok, that means that i have to go through the right-hand door" SHEEPY said, pleased with himself.
"How did you work that one out?" asked the first statue.
"Well, if statue no. 1 is lying, and statue no. 2 is telling the truth, then it must be right. If no 1 is telling the truth and no.2 is lying, it works out as well."
"No it doesn't".
"It bloody well does! I've been stuck in here for ages and anyway it worked for that girl in Labyrinth (what a hilarious hairstyle David Bowie had by the way). I'm going through the right hand door!"
SHEEPY strode off towards the right hand door, he opened it and stepped through with a flash.
He then fell 60 feet and landed on FM.
"I wonder whats goiing on here?" Mumbled the taxi driver to himself. He had driven the taxi to the Triangle of Trees, only to find a crowd of people milling around, which was not abnormal in itself.
What was abnormal however, was that there was a great mound of earth by the trees. The group and the driver got out of the taxi, and walked over to see what was happening. The group was getting strange looks, so the driver told them to wait in the car while he found out what was going on.
They wandered back to the car and sat down, looking slightly embarassed in their strange clothes. The taxi driver continued to walk over to the group of people and caught snippets of conversation as he went.
"Stop that Ant! He's coming back!" said YH. Ant quickly stopped winding the handle that tipped the chair backwards and forwards and looked innocently about as if he had done nothing.
"Well lads, I've found out a little about whats going on, this is what i know. As i told you on the way over here, the was myth that an old and powerful sword was buried in the middle of the trees. Well, someones just gone and dug it up. Apparantly, the police are looking for people dressed like you guys. Now i know it wasn't you as you've been with me, so i figured i'd help you get a disguise so the police won't follow you."
"Thanks Mr....., oh sorry, we don't even know your name." Said Meka.
"Rainbird. Tony Rainbird."
"Right, ok, thanks then Tony."
What was abnormal however, was that there was a great mound of earth by the trees. The group and the driver got out of the taxi, and walked over to see what was happening. The group was getting strange looks, so the driver told them to wait in the car while he found out what was going on.
They wandered back to the car and sat down, looking slightly embarassed in their strange clothes. The taxi driver continued to walk over to the group of people and caught snippets of conversation as he went.
"Stop that Ant! He's coming back!" said YH. Ant quickly stopped winding the handle that tipped the chair backwards and forwards and looked innocently about as if he had done nothing.
"Well lads, I've found out a little about whats going on, this is what i know. As i told you on the way over here, the was myth that an old and powerful sword was buried in the middle of the trees. Well, someones just gone and dug it up. Apparantly, the police are looking for people dressed like you guys. Now i know it wasn't you as you've been with me, so i figured i'd help you get a disguise so the police won't follow you."
"Thanks Mr....., oh sorry, we don't even know your name." Said Meka.
"Rainbird. Tony Rainbird."
"Right, ok, thanks then Tony."
FM and pb walked through the fairground, trying not to look too out of place, dressed in medieval clothing and carrying a magical sword. A torrent of projectile vomit coming from the direction of the metorite narrowly missed them.
Well, narrowly missed FantasyMeister anyway.
"EUUUCH!" screamed pb "What am I going to do now?"
"I guess you'll have to find some place to wash off."
They walked onwards, past a rather interesting ride called 'The Prison Simulator', then a few arcades, eveuntually reaching the edge of the circus.
----------------------
Sheepy was worried. If somebody didn't write in his question to the statues soon, he could be stuck here for the rest of the story. He sighed, and waited for someone to read back a few posts and find out where he was.
------------------------------
"Yes okay, you can come out now." the operator replied.
Grix and Sniper walked outside, dazzled slightly by the sunlight as they were used to the dark, dingy cell. They waited a few moments for their eyes to adjuct to the surroundings, and then Grix broke the silence.
"Prison Simulator?? You had me in a bloomin' prison simulator?!"
"Could be, yes" replied Sniper
Only Grix's impressive powers of temper control stopped him killing sniper, right there and then.
That and the fact Sniper had legged it.
Grix watched, as Sniper dissapeared into the crowds of people milling around. He waited for a moment, and looked at his watch. He started counting something to himself. He waited for while, just counting. Then he stopped and looked up, just in time to see Sniper running back towards the prison simulator at full speed. Grix smiled to himself.
"Hey there Snipe!"
"Oh... damn"
Well, narrowly missed FantasyMeister anyway.
"EUUUCH!" screamed pb "What am I going to do now?"
"I guess you'll have to find some place to wash off."
They walked onwards, past a rather interesting ride called 'The Prison Simulator', then a few arcades, eveuntually reaching the edge of the circus.
----------------------
Sheepy was worried. If somebody didn't write in his question to the statues soon, he could be stuck here for the rest of the story. He sighed, and waited for someone to read back a few posts and find out where he was.
------------------------------
"Yes okay, you can come out now." the operator replied.
Grix and Sniper walked outside, dazzled slightly by the sunlight as they were used to the dark, dingy cell. They waited a few moments for their eyes to adjuct to the surroundings, and then Grix broke the silence.
"Prison Simulator?? You had me in a bloomin' prison simulator?!"
"Could be, yes" replied Sniper
Only Grix's impressive powers of temper control stopped him killing sniper, right there and then.
That and the fact Sniper had legged it.
Grix watched, as Sniper dissapeared into the crowds of people milling around. He waited for a moment, and looked at his watch. He started counting something to himself. He waited for while, just counting. Then he stopped and looked up, just in time to see Sniper running back towards the prison simulator at full speed. Grix smiled to himself.
"Hey there Snipe!"
"Oh... damn"
"Look Grix, I've been thinking." Said Sniper.
Sniper suddenly hasd Grix's full attention. He couldn't remember how long he'd been in that cell with him, but it must have been days by now, surely?
"What? You remember how to get out of here?"
"No. It was about that comma-"
Sniper was suddenly cut off by a big:
"Aaaaaaarrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" From Grix. "That bloody YH, i'm going to kill him!!!!!!" Grix took a deep breath a tried to calm himself, then his curiosity got the better of his anger. "How do you know about that comma, you've stuck in here since the beginning of the story?"
"Well.... ummmm, you know.... . news sort of, leaks through..... kind of. Also, you lot were shouting about it so damn loud a Yak Farmer In Tibet could have heard you!"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Ant, YH and whoever else was with them, Meka i think, had just got in the Taxi.
"Where you off to guv'nor?" Said the driver.
"Errr, dunno really." Replied Meka, who was trying to get used to this new fangled speech.
"Shall i just take you around the sights then?" Asked the driver.
"Yeah, ok that sounds good, friend." The driver had a worried look on his face, when people called you 'friend' things didn't always turn out for the best. Still, they looked harmless enough, perhaps they were just Welsh he thought to himself.
"Ok, we'll start at the Triangle Of Trees-" The group looked at each other, "- hence named as it's a triangle you see. With trees at each corner, you see? Any way, we're nearly there now........."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"OK OK!!!! I admit it, it doesn't really matter if there is a damn comma or not, it makes no difference!" Shouted Grix.
Sniper stopped beating Grix over the head with a halfbrick he found on the floor, climbed off, and went to sit in the corner.
Grix had just about had enough of this, he *had* to get out of here!
He wandered over to the door to try out his masterplan:
He knoced on the door, and then said, "Errrrr, excuse me....?"
Sniper suddenly hasd Grix's full attention. He couldn't remember how long he'd been in that cell with him, but it must have been days by now, surely?
"What? You remember how to get out of here?"
"No. It was about that comma-"
Sniper was suddenly cut off by a big:
"Aaaaaaarrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" From Grix. "That bloody YH, i'm going to kill him!!!!!!" Grix took a deep breath a tried to calm himself, then his curiosity got the better of his anger. "How do you know about that comma, you've stuck in here since the beginning of the story?"
"Well.... ummmm, you know.... . news sort of, leaks through..... kind of. Also, you lot were shouting about it so damn loud a Yak Farmer In Tibet could have heard you!"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Ant, YH and whoever else was with them, Meka i think, had just got in the Taxi.
"Where you off to guv'nor?" Said the driver.
"Errr, dunno really." Replied Meka, who was trying to get used to this new fangled speech.
"Shall i just take you around the sights then?" Asked the driver.
"Yeah, ok that sounds good, friend." The driver had a worried look on his face, when people called you 'friend' things didn't always turn out for the best. Still, they looked harmless enough, perhaps they were just Welsh he thought to himself.
"Ok, we'll start at the Triangle Of Trees-" The group looked at each other, "- hence named as it's a triangle you see. With trees at each corner, you see? Any way, we're nearly there now........."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"OK OK!!!! I admit it, it doesn't really matter if there is a damn comma or not, it makes no difference!" Shouted Grix.
Sniper stopped beating Grix over the head with a halfbrick he found on the floor, climbed off, and went to sit in the corner.
Grix had just about had enough of this, he *had* to get out of here!
He wandered over to the door to try out his masterplan:
He knoced on the door, and then said, "Errrrr, excuse me....?"
So... Mongoose Man, reunited with the old gang, once again, led them over the hills and far away, where they shot a few rabbits, and maimed a few teletubbies.
Nobody really seemed to know where they were going... clouds of dust from the dirty fields they strode through filtering the air... only the mongoose really knew. And he couldn't talk. Well he could, but only every few years.
Mongoose man hailed a taxi... and got in. The others got in as well, blissfully aware that it was a taxi. The story wouldn't make much sense, otherwise.
But then, why the hell were they dressed up like they were living in the age of kings, and were seeking a sword to help defend them agaisnt hordes of orcs...?
Well, this author didn't know. He was just making it up as he went along. Well... most of it, anyway.
"You know..." Ant said, as he stepped into the taxi... "Do you ever get that feeling of Deja vu?"
"Deja vu?" Meka said, as he crawled in after him.
"Yes. Deja vu."
"No." Replied Meka.
Nobody really seemed to know where they were going... clouds of dust from the dirty fields they strode through filtering the air... only the mongoose really knew. And he couldn't talk. Well he could, but only every few years.
Mongoose man hailed a taxi... and got in. The others got in as well, blissfully aware that it was a taxi. The story wouldn't make much sense, otherwise.
But then, why the hell were they dressed up like they were living in the age of kings, and were seeking a sword to help defend them agaisnt hordes of orcs...?
Well, this author didn't know. He was just making it up as he went along. Well... most of it, anyway.
"You know..." Ant said, as he stepped into the taxi... "Do you ever get that feeling of Deja vu?"
"Deja vu?" Meka said, as he crawled in after him.
"Yes. Deja vu."
"No." Replied Meka.
The mighty Warrior fought the dragon. No, not Meka, a REAL dragon. Unfortunately it was 10 times his size and he didn't stand a chance.
Luckily, he had a secret weapon. A wise man had handed him a weapon promising that it gave infinite power to a true hero. He pulled out the gun and fired.
It turned out that he wasn't the true hero after all.
He got toasted by the dragon.
Dan walked by the dead body a few days later. The gun had cooled down. He picked it up and sensing the power it awakened inside him. He had travelled miles west to get it and now he had to travel even further east to find the cloak of Darkness.
What he didn't realise that it was so far east that it was only a few miles west of where he was standing. So he set off East...
Luckily, he had a secret weapon. A wise man had handed him a weapon promising that it gave infinite power to a true hero. He pulled out the gun and fired.
It turned out that he wasn't the true hero after all.
He got toasted by the dragon.
Dan walked by the dead body a few days later. The gun had cooled down. He picked it up and sensing the power it awakened inside him. He had travelled miles west to get it and now he had to travel even further east to find the cloak of Darkness.
What he didn't realise that it was so far east that it was only a few miles west of where he was standing. So he set off East...
"Mongoose man! You can't speak!"
"...Moo."
"That's better."
"...Moo."
"That's better."
...irdo irritating us all the time, I say we kill him."
"Meka!" Sonicrav said. "No need for that yet, we all know Ant is going to die in the end anyway!"
Ant looked at Sonicrav... "What?!"
"Err..."
Sonicrav was interrupted by bang...
"What the..."
They all looked in suprise as someone they knew well, but haven't seen for many years jumped through the doorway...
"No time for questions!" Mongoose man said, "The Overlord is back!"
--MUSICAL INTERLUDE--
Mongoose man!
Mongoose man!
Does whatever!
A mongoose can!
----------------------
"Meka!" Sonicrav said. "No need for that yet, we all know Ant is going to die in the end anyway!"
Ant looked at Sonicrav... "What?!"
"Err..."
Sonicrav was interrupted by bang...
"What the..."
They all looked in suprise as someone they knew well, but haven't seen for many years jumped through the doorway...
"No time for questions!" Mongoose man said, "The Overlord is back!"
--MUSICAL INTERLUDE--
Mongoose man!
Mongoose man!
Does whatever!
A mongoose can!
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