The "General Games Chat" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.
Look. Don't blame me, I'm bored. If people were in here chatting away, I wouldn't have to sink to this level.
Smoke purred from Ant's mouth, drifting into the air, and pulling the life from within him out...
"You shouldn't smoke you know. It's bad for the insides."
Ant looked down at his curry. He wouldn't be suprised if the curry did more damage.
"I can't eat any more." He said. "I'm not feeling too well today."
The man took away Ant's curry, and emptied it into a bucket.
"That'll be 90 credits..." As the man looked up, Ant was no longer at his seat.
"Put it on the slate!" Ant shouted...
Ant had recieved another message. It was from command. Apparently some of the driods had broke lose, killing a few task forces on the way.
Ant got into his hovercar, just a bog standard craft, but the seats were uncomfortable. He knew this would be his last run before he could buy another.
He pulled the craft up, and out of the giant hanger, and into the open air. It was night. You could tell it was night because there were more hovercars around, it usually gets busy at night... Ant looked up at the deep smog that had settled over the city of Pembroke many years ago... not long after Pembroke was declared the new capital of the former British Isles all those years ago... before the war.
Ant remembers it as if it were about 10 years ago, so he expected the details to be a bit foggy.
Professor Miyamoto about 11 years ago invented the next generation of machinary to compete with the Overlords Playchip 3, which was in popular demand with kids...
Under the company name Nintendo, Prof. Miyamoto released the Nintendo chip into the mass market. Hundreds of people brought them, and had them implanted. Some many happy faces... so much peace in the world...
Then something, as always it seemed, went wrong. The chips started to manufuction, taking the persons will of control with it. They produced hundreds of automated psyhcotic killing machines, and Nintendo had no control over them...
The Overlord had ordered that all Nintendo products to be taking off the market, and ordered that Nintendo was shut down.
Ant pulled out of his daydream, and realised that he was heading straight for a building... He pulled up with ease. But someone behind him, who didn't anticipate his move quickly dodged to the left to avoid Ant, and hit the building that Ant was trying to avoid. The sprialling trail of the hovercars smoke reminded Ant to light his cigarette, which was just clasped unlit between his lips. Ant thought he was going insane...
Ant managed to navigate through the rest of the car maze, and ended up at the Overlords headquarters. Sony HQ.
He landed. Finding a space was easy, just land on top of any car already there. Sometimes you would find stacks of cars miles high, with the Jenga like approuch for the man with the bottom car, attempting to remove his car... There had been several "Jenga" accidents in the last few days.
Ant had left his car, climbed down the stack of cars, and entered the building. He proceeded past reception, and walked down the dark stairs. He took the second door on the left, walked around the fountain in the middle of the room to the third door, past the small wildlife display, through the small hall, under the glass bridge, and through the red double doors.
"Who are you?" Said the man inside.
"My names Ant. I'm a Blade Runner."
"Oh... you looking for the Command office. You should have taken the fourth door near the waterfall, this is the lower hall."
"Oh. Ta."
Smoke purred from Ant's mouth, drifting into the air, and pulling the life from within him out...
"You shouldn't smoke you know. It's bad for the insides."
Ant looked down at his curry. He wouldn't be suprised if the curry did more damage.
"I can't eat any more." He said. "I'm not feeling too well today."
The man took away Ant's curry, and emptied it into a bucket.
"That'll be 90 credits..." As the man looked up, Ant was no longer at his seat.
"Put it on the slate!" Ant shouted...
Ant had recieved another message. It was from command. Apparently some of the driods had broke lose, killing a few task forces on the way.
Ant got into his hovercar, just a bog standard craft, but the seats were uncomfortable. He knew this would be his last run before he could buy another.
He pulled the craft up, and out of the giant hanger, and into the open air. It was night. You could tell it was night because there were more hovercars around, it usually gets busy at night... Ant looked up at the deep smog that had settled over the city of Pembroke many years ago... not long after Pembroke was declared the new capital of the former British Isles all those years ago... before the war.
Ant remembers it as if it were about 10 years ago, so he expected the details to be a bit foggy.
Professor Miyamoto about 11 years ago invented the next generation of machinary to compete with the Overlords Playchip 3, which was in popular demand with kids...
Under the company name Nintendo, Prof. Miyamoto released the Nintendo chip into the mass market. Hundreds of people brought them, and had them implanted. Some many happy faces... so much peace in the world...
Then something, as always it seemed, went wrong. The chips started to manufuction, taking the persons will of control with it. They produced hundreds of automated psyhcotic killing machines, and Nintendo had no control over them...
The Overlord had ordered that all Nintendo products to be taking off the market, and ordered that Nintendo was shut down.
Ant pulled out of his daydream, and realised that he was heading straight for a building... He pulled up with ease. But someone behind him, who didn't anticipate his move quickly dodged to the left to avoid Ant, and hit the building that Ant was trying to avoid. The sprialling trail of the hovercars smoke reminded Ant to light his cigarette, which was just clasped unlit between his lips. Ant thought he was going insane...
Ant managed to navigate through the rest of the car maze, and ended up at the Overlords headquarters. Sony HQ.
He landed. Finding a space was easy, just land on top of any car already there. Sometimes you would find stacks of cars miles high, with the Jenga like approuch for the man with the bottom car, attempting to remove his car... There had been several "Jenga" accidents in the last few days.
Ant had left his car, climbed down the stack of cars, and entered the building. He proceeded past reception, and walked down the dark stairs. He took the second door on the left, walked around the fountain in the middle of the room to the third door, past the small wildlife display, through the small hall, under the glass bridge, and through the red double doors.
"Who are you?" Said the man inside.
"My names Ant. I'm a Blade Runner."
"Oh... you looking for the Command office. You should have taken the fourth door near the waterfall, this is the lower hall."
"Oh. Ta."
Page:
So, the scene was set. GRIX Vs B.GATES.
"Round One!" somebody said.
"FIGHT!"
The group looked towards pb. The future of gaming was in his hands now, and they knew it. Should he be defeated by B.Gates, then who knows what fate beheld the world?
B.Gates launched a head stomp, and pb instinctively blocked it.
"YOU SHOULD'VE DONE A DRAGON PUNCH!" Ant screamed at him.
Ant rushed forward to try to seize the pad from pb, but FM held him back.
"LET ME PLAY IT" Ant shouted.
"Calm down!" FM exclaimed. "pb knows what he's doing."
B.Gates had advanced in, and a scrappy selection of quick punches and kicks from each character had made given Grix a slight edge. Unfortunately Gates managed to grab and throw him, thereby regaining the lead slightly.
pb fought back well with a great technique that many great RYU or KEN players use. He was using only the hard kick button.
Gates launched a scissors kick, pb took a risk and went with the hurricane kick. It paid off. Gates was sent sprawing backwards, and bounced on the ground unconscious.
"Round Two!"
"FIGHT!"
pb was gaining in confidence now, and B.Gates was looking shaken. He took Gates half way to KO, losing only a fraction of his own energy bar, when disiaster struck. The control pad stopped responding.
pb was too shocked to speak. Everyone stared at the screen. This was out of their hands now.
------------------------
Grix had been just starting to enjoy himself in this round, when the voices stopped. Nothing told him what to do. He looked around, feeling slighly panicked. He saw tall vases and hindu women in purple and orange robes. There were a few other people watching too, but nobody of any use. He turned back to Gates, just in time to see a Psycho Crusher heading for him. He didn't see it however, quite in time to avoid it.
A short pummeling later, Gates had taken the second round. By this time Grix had realised he was on his own. What chance did he stand? He couldn't pull off special moves on his own. He had to pull off something really special to win this last round using only basic moves......
"Round One!" somebody said.
"FIGHT!"
The group looked towards pb. The future of gaming was in his hands now, and they knew it. Should he be defeated by B.Gates, then who knows what fate beheld the world?
B.Gates launched a head stomp, and pb instinctively blocked it.
"YOU SHOULD'VE DONE A DRAGON PUNCH!" Ant screamed at him.
Ant rushed forward to try to seize the pad from pb, but FM held him back.
"LET ME PLAY IT" Ant shouted.
"Calm down!" FM exclaimed. "pb knows what he's doing."
B.Gates had advanced in, and a scrappy selection of quick punches and kicks from each character had made given Grix a slight edge. Unfortunately Gates managed to grab and throw him, thereby regaining the lead slightly.
pb fought back well with a great technique that many great RYU or KEN players use. He was using only the hard kick button.
Gates launched a scissors kick, pb took a risk and went with the hurricane kick. It paid off. Gates was sent sprawing backwards, and bounced on the ground unconscious.
"Round Two!"
"FIGHT!"
pb was gaining in confidence now, and B.Gates was looking shaken. He took Gates half way to KO, losing only a fraction of his own energy bar, when disiaster struck. The control pad stopped responding.
pb was too shocked to speak. Everyone stared at the screen. This was out of their hands now.
------------------------
Grix had been just starting to enjoy himself in this round, when the voices stopped. Nothing told him what to do. He looked around, feeling slighly panicked. He saw tall vases and hindu women in purple and orange robes. There were a few other people watching too, but nobody of any use. He turned back to Gates, just in time to see a Psycho Crusher heading for him. He didn't see it however, quite in time to avoid it.
A short pummeling later, Gates had taken the second round. By this time Grix had realised he was on his own. What chance did he stand? He couldn't pull off special moves on his own. He had to pull off something really special to win this last round using only basic moves......
The topic speaks... it says: WRITE MORE!!! WRITE MOREEEE!!!!
The topic has spoken, and what it speaks of must come to be.
The topic has spoken, and what it speaks of must come to be.
Where was I in those skits!
I shall make my own one up when i can be bothered only involving me!
HA HA
POWER OF THE SHEEP
I shall make my own one up when i can be bothered only involving me!
HA HA
POWER OF THE SHEEP
*ahem*
Dan_uk was crawling around Nintendo HQ. His body was still a mess after that electric shock he received while his mind was in the N-chip.
Dan_2K1 couldn't help because he'd been connected by a computer outside Nintendo HQ so his physical self would be miles away.
Dan_uk went into the first aid room.
He'd seen the rest of them playing on an antique mega drive and now after all that work Dan_uk had done inside the N-chip, Grix was being allowed to finish the job without him!(although after seeing PB at the controls, Dan_uk wasn't quite sure if he wanted to be in Grix's position.)
Well once he'd found the medication he could come back and help the others save the world.
Even after the huge battle inside the N-chip, a hero's work is never done!
Dan_2K1 couldn't help because he'd been connected by a computer outside Nintendo HQ so his physical self would be miles away.
Dan_uk went into the first aid room.
He'd seen the rest of them playing on an antique mega drive and now after all that work Dan_uk had done inside the N-chip, Grix was being allowed to finish the job without him!(although after seeing PB at the controls, Dan_uk wasn't quite sure if he wanted to be in Grix's position.)
Well once he'd found the medication he could come back and help the others save the world.
Even after the huge battle inside the N-chip, a hero's work is never done!
Ant ran around like a headless chicken, while the rest tried to think of something to do.
"The Overlord can travel through any object, yes?" Fantasymeister reminded the readers...
"Yeah..." pb had a plan.
He ran out the door, and headed for the Tardis... he set the timer for 1997, and pressed the start button with a
*Click*
Fantasymeister looked outside.
The Tardis appeared again.
Out stepped pb, covered in tar and feathers, and carrying...
"A Megadrive?" Ant watched pb. "Why do you want a Megadrive?
He plugged it into the wall, and put in a game.
"It was the only one I could find..." pb mumbled...
He turned on the machine.
*STREET FIGHTER II - CHAMPIONSHIP EDITION*
The rest of them gathered around him. Ant picked up player two's controller.
"Only two players? How cute!"
pb snatched the controller from him. "This is a one player game..."
The character screen came up...
"I don't remember Grix being in Street Fighter 2..." Fantasymeister looked closer at the screen.
A picture of Grix in white karate gear was shown for player one.
pb pressed start... The level loaded.
------
Grix lay flat on the floor... he found himself in a strange land... was he back in his mind again?
He looked at the wooden floorboards. He slowly moved his head up.
A green man looked him straight in the eye.
He suddenly discovered where he was...
------
Blanka crawled forward...
"Quick! Move Grix away until we learn his moves!" Shouted FM...
------
(Why can't we walk! Your body isn't responding!)
"I think it's got something to do with Blanka running straight towards me."
Suddenly, Grix started jogging backwards...
"Arghhh! Help!!"
He jumped forward, and kicked Blanka straight in the face...
Blanka easily ignored the punch. But he was quite angry.
He looked straight at, and through, Grix.
"Err... Sorry."
Blanka curled up into a ball, and threw himself at Grix.
"BAaAaaaAAAA!!!!"
------
"Give me the controller!" FM tried to snatch the controller away from pb's hands... "You're crap!"
"Give me a minute... just one minute..." pb was completely enfixed on the monitor...
"He'll be dead by then!"
------
Grix jumped up... but he swore his spine had snapped...
Grix's arms moved foward together, and he slowly pulled them back...
He pushed them foward, and shouted: "AREYOUKEN!"
A ball of fire came from his hands in some inexplainable motion... and shot out towards Blanka. It hit him with full force. He fell backwards, it what Grix later described as slow motion... and fell on his back. He didn't get up.
------
"YESSSSS!" pb started dancing around the room.
"I'm the king at this game."
"Err... sorry to interrupt and all, but your next fight awaits."
"Oh yeah. Thanks."
"One question..." Fantasymeister asked pb, "Can Grix die?"
"Who knows?" pb continued playing.
So after a few more fights... Grix was completly unconsious, but still being thrown about the stage... He had destroyed a car, blown up bricks... and after a few barrels had landed on him... he was wide awake again.
He was a fully trained fighter now. There was no going back.
------
Sagat dropped to the floor with a *click*...
Grix got down from his flying dragon kick, and swept back his hair.
"Thanks guys!" He shouted... By this time, he had worked out that they were controlling him, basically by shouting DUCK everynow and again, and getting a answer in the form of a move.
------
"The final level... are you up to it pb?" Ant looked at the screen in awe...
"Of course I am. I rule at this game."
The screen flicked back to life, the picture of Grix in the left was still there.
In the right though... a new face appeared...
"I was dreading this..." pb said...
"B. GATES." Came the megadrives reply, in a very deep voice...
Bill Gates wore a red suit... and a red hat... and his fist looked rather metallic...
pb pressed the start button... There was a
*Click*
"The Overlord can travel through any object, yes?" Fantasymeister reminded the readers...
"Yeah..." pb had a plan.
He ran out the door, and headed for the Tardis... he set the timer for 1997, and pressed the start button with a
*Click*
Fantasymeister looked outside.
The Tardis appeared again.
Out stepped pb, covered in tar and feathers, and carrying...
"A Megadrive?" Ant watched pb. "Why do you want a Megadrive?
He plugged it into the wall, and put in a game.
"It was the only one I could find..." pb mumbled...
He turned on the machine.
*STREET FIGHTER II - CHAMPIONSHIP EDITION*
The rest of them gathered around him. Ant picked up player two's controller.
"Only two players? How cute!"
pb snatched the controller from him. "This is a one player game..."
The character screen came up...
"I don't remember Grix being in Street Fighter 2..." Fantasymeister looked closer at the screen.
A picture of Grix in white karate gear was shown for player one.
pb pressed start... The level loaded.
------
Grix lay flat on the floor... he found himself in a strange land... was he back in his mind again?
He looked at the wooden floorboards. He slowly moved his head up.
A green man looked him straight in the eye.
He suddenly discovered where he was...
------
Blanka crawled forward...
"Quick! Move Grix away until we learn his moves!" Shouted FM...
------
(Why can't we walk! Your body isn't responding!)
"I think it's got something to do with Blanka running straight towards me."
Suddenly, Grix started jogging backwards...
"Arghhh! Help!!"
He jumped forward, and kicked Blanka straight in the face...
Blanka easily ignored the punch. But he was quite angry.
He looked straight at, and through, Grix.
"Err... Sorry."
Blanka curled up into a ball, and threw himself at Grix.
"BAaAaaaAAAA!!!!"
------
"Give me the controller!" FM tried to snatch the controller away from pb's hands... "You're crap!"
"Give me a minute... just one minute..." pb was completely enfixed on the monitor...
"He'll be dead by then!"
------
Grix jumped up... but he swore his spine had snapped...
Grix's arms moved foward together, and he slowly pulled them back...
He pushed them foward, and shouted: "AREYOUKEN!"
A ball of fire came from his hands in some inexplainable motion... and shot out towards Blanka. It hit him with full force. He fell backwards, it what Grix later described as slow motion... and fell on his back. He didn't get up.
------
"YESSSSS!" pb started dancing around the room.
"I'm the king at this game."
"Err... sorry to interrupt and all, but your next fight awaits."
"Oh yeah. Thanks."
"One question..." Fantasymeister asked pb, "Can Grix die?"
"Who knows?" pb continued playing.
So after a few more fights... Grix was completly unconsious, but still being thrown about the stage... He had destroyed a car, blown up bricks... and after a few barrels had landed on him... he was wide awake again.
He was a fully trained fighter now. There was no going back.
------
Sagat dropped to the floor with a *click*...
Grix got down from his flying dragon kick, and swept back his hair.
"Thanks guys!" He shouted... By this time, he had worked out that they were controlling him, basically by shouting DUCK everynow and again, and getting a answer in the form of a move.
------
"The final level... are you up to it pb?" Ant looked at the screen in awe...
"Of course I am. I rule at this game."
The screen flicked back to life, the picture of Grix in the left was still there.
In the right though... a new face appeared...
"I was dreading this..." pb said...
"B. GATES." Came the megadrives reply, in a very deep voice...
Bill Gates wore a red suit... and a red hat... and his fist looked rather metallic...
pb pressed the start button... There was a
*Click*
Grix and Overlord were now playing Cluedo, to decide who would get to call on the coin toss to decide who was noughts and who was crosses.
"I think it's.... Colonel Mustard...with the dagger... in the library." Grix guessed.
It had been going on for hours.
"You've already said that!!" Ant raged. Ant was eating sugar, and drinking orange squash. The orange squash had no water in it, and did have added sugar. As he raged, he dropped a whole bag of sugar and half his orange onto the Computer Grix and Overlord were in.
The screen fizzed, flickered, then went black.
"Oops."
"I think it's.... Colonel Mustard...with the dagger... in the library." Grix guessed.
It had been going on for hours.
"You've already said that!!" Ant raged. Ant was eating sugar, and drinking orange squash. The orange squash had no water in it, and did have added sugar. As he raged, he dropped a whole bag of sugar and half his orange onto the Computer Grix and Overlord were in.
The screen fizzed, flickered, then went black.
"Oops."
So our intrepid group of heroes faced the overlord.
"This is never gonna work" FM said
"Have confidence, we will win!" replied Ant
"No, that's not what I meant. Fight scenes are never that interesting, and in any case, he'd only come back to life after he was dead.
"What do you suggest then?" pb inquired
"We have a battle of wits. Transfer ourslves to the computer (again), and the loser gets their brains erased, so their body can never reanimate."
"You fools are no match for my unfeasably high IQ!" The ovberlord said. "I will gladly destroy you in this manner if you wish"
So it was agreed. A battle of wits to decide it all.
"Who among you is brave enough to die first?" The overlord asked.
(I will)
Are you insane? You'll get us both killed
(No, I'll win. No problem. Trust me.)
"Right" said Grix. "I will"
And so grix and the overlord were transfered into the computer to begin a battle of wits.
The others watched the proceedings on the monitor
"So" said Grix's brain. "How are we to decide this"
"Chess" said the overlord.
"You can choose anything you want" Grix's brain replied.
"Chess" said the overlord.
"Anything. Ludo, monopoly, snakes and ladders.."
"Chess" said the overlord
"So, you like a bit of chess then? Chess it is."
"Actually" interjected FM, "Chess has been outlawed since 2032 since it promotes treason."
"Right then" said Grix's brain. "Noughts and crosses it is. We take turns going first, starting with me. First to one win is the winner."
"No" said the overlord "I get to go first"
"Right, said Grix's brain. "How we flip a coin to decide who goes first at the noughts and crosses?"
"Okay. I'll call"
"No you won't" said Grix's brain "I get to call."
It was going to be a long day.
-- Some time later --
"So it's decided then. We play paper scissors stones best of three to decide who goes first at the connect 4, the winner of which gets to go first at the backgammon, the winner of which gets to call when we flip the coin, the winner of which gets to go first at the noughts and crosses?"
"Agreed" the overlord replied.
And so they continued......
-- Some time later --
"Right, It's heads" said the overlord. "So I get to go first at the noughts and crosses. I'll put a cross in the top left"
"Nooooooo" said Grix. "I'm crosses, you're noughts"
"No I'm not" said the overlord.
"Right" said Grix. "There's only one fair way to decide this...."
It was turning out to be one of those days.....
"This is never gonna work" FM said
"Have confidence, we will win!" replied Ant
"No, that's not what I meant. Fight scenes are never that interesting, and in any case, he'd only come back to life after he was dead.
"What do you suggest then?" pb inquired
"We have a battle of wits. Transfer ourslves to the computer (again), and the loser gets their brains erased, so their body can never reanimate."
"You fools are no match for my unfeasably high IQ!" The ovberlord said. "I will gladly destroy you in this manner if you wish"
So it was agreed. A battle of wits to decide it all.
"Who among you is brave enough to die first?" The overlord asked.
(I will)
Are you insane? You'll get us both killed
(No, I'll win. No problem. Trust me.)
"Right" said Grix. "I will"
And so grix and the overlord were transfered into the computer to begin a battle of wits.
The others watched the proceedings on the monitor
"So" said Grix's brain. "How are we to decide this"
"Chess" said the overlord.
"You can choose anything you want" Grix's brain replied.
"Chess" said the overlord.
"Anything. Ludo, monopoly, snakes and ladders.."
"Chess" said the overlord
"So, you like a bit of chess then? Chess it is."
"Actually" interjected FM, "Chess has been outlawed since 2032 since it promotes treason."
"Right then" said Grix's brain. "Noughts and crosses it is. We take turns going first, starting with me. First to one win is the winner."
"No" said the overlord "I get to go first"
"Right, said Grix's brain. "How we flip a coin to decide who goes first at the noughts and crosses?"
"Okay. I'll call"
"No you won't" said Grix's brain "I get to call."
It was going to be a long day.
-- Some time later --
"So it's decided then. We play paper scissors stones best of three to decide who goes first at the connect 4, the winner of which gets to go first at the backgammon, the winner of which gets to call when we flip the coin, the winner of which gets to go first at the noughts and crosses?"
"Agreed" the overlord replied.
And so they continued......
-- Some time later --
"Right, It's heads" said the overlord. "So I get to go first at the noughts and crosses. I'll put a cross in the top left"
"Nooooooo" said Grix. "I'm crosses, you're noughts"
"No I'm not" said the overlord.
"Right" said Grix. "There's only one fair way to decide this...."
It was turning out to be one of those days.....
With a burst of speed that surprised all of them including himself, FM lunged forward, tucked into a diving roll, scooped the gun out of Grix's hand and ended up in a crouched firing position with MONGOOSE MAN! MONGOOSE MAN! in his sights.
With a burst of speed as equally impressive, a fit of writer's block picked exactly that same moment to hit FM in the head. It hit him so hard that there was a palpable
*click*
With a burst of speed as equally impressive, a fit of writer's block picked exactly that same moment to hit FM in the head. It hit him so hard that there was a palpable
*click*
Grix, my post came after yours anyway, just read 'As Grix received the gun back again....' instead for the first line.
Mongoose man is back in town, oh yes!
Mongoose man is back in town, oh yes!
Page: