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Look. Don't blame me, I'm bored. If people were in here chatting away, I wouldn't have to sink to this level.
Smoke purred from Ant's mouth, drifting into the air, and pulling the life from within him out...
"You shouldn't smoke you know. It's bad for the insides."
Ant looked down at his curry. He wouldn't be suprised if the curry did more damage.
"I can't eat any more." He said. "I'm not feeling too well today."
The man took away Ant's curry, and emptied it into a bucket.
"That'll be 90 credits..." As the man looked up, Ant was no longer at his seat.
"Put it on the slate!" Ant shouted...
Ant had recieved another message. It was from command. Apparently some of the driods had broke lose, killing a few task forces on the way.
Ant got into his hovercar, just a bog standard craft, but the seats were uncomfortable. He knew this would be his last run before he could buy another.
He pulled the craft up, and out of the giant hanger, and into the open air. It was night. You could tell it was night because there were more hovercars around, it usually gets busy at night... Ant looked up at the deep smog that had settled over the city of Pembroke many years ago... not long after Pembroke was declared the new capital of the former British Isles all those years ago... before the war.
Ant remembers it as if it were about 10 years ago, so he expected the details to be a bit foggy.
Professor Miyamoto about 11 years ago invented the next generation of machinary to compete with the Overlords Playchip 3, which was in popular demand with kids...
Under the company name Nintendo, Prof. Miyamoto released the Nintendo chip into the mass market. Hundreds of people brought them, and had them implanted. Some many happy faces... so much peace in the world...
Then something, as always it seemed, went wrong. The chips started to manufuction, taking the persons will of control with it. They produced hundreds of automated psyhcotic killing machines, and Nintendo had no control over them...
The Overlord had ordered that all Nintendo products to be taking off the market, and ordered that Nintendo was shut down.
Ant pulled out of his daydream, and realised that he was heading straight for a building... He pulled up with ease. But someone behind him, who didn't anticipate his move quickly dodged to the left to avoid Ant, and hit the building that Ant was trying to avoid. The sprialling trail of the hovercars smoke reminded Ant to light his cigarette, which was just clasped unlit between his lips. Ant thought he was going insane...
Ant managed to navigate through the rest of the car maze, and ended up at the Overlords headquarters. Sony HQ.
He landed. Finding a space was easy, just land on top of any car already there. Sometimes you would find stacks of cars miles high, with the Jenga like approuch for the man with the bottom car, attempting to remove his car... There had been several "Jenga" accidents in the last few days.
Ant had left his car, climbed down the stack of cars, and entered the building. He proceeded past reception, and walked down the dark stairs. He took the second door on the left, walked around the fountain in the middle of the room to the third door, past the small wildlife display, through the small hall, under the glass bridge, and through the red double doors.
"Who are you?" Said the man inside.
"My names Ant. I'm a Blade Runner."
"Oh... you looking for the Command office. You should have taken the fourth door near the waterfall, this is the lower hall."
"Oh. Ta."
Smoke purred from Ant's mouth, drifting into the air, and pulling the life from within him out...
"You shouldn't smoke you know. It's bad for the insides."
Ant looked down at his curry. He wouldn't be suprised if the curry did more damage.
"I can't eat any more." He said. "I'm not feeling too well today."
The man took away Ant's curry, and emptied it into a bucket.
"That'll be 90 credits..." As the man looked up, Ant was no longer at his seat.
"Put it on the slate!" Ant shouted...
Ant had recieved another message. It was from command. Apparently some of the driods had broke lose, killing a few task forces on the way.
Ant got into his hovercar, just a bog standard craft, but the seats were uncomfortable. He knew this would be his last run before he could buy another.
He pulled the craft up, and out of the giant hanger, and into the open air. It was night. You could tell it was night because there were more hovercars around, it usually gets busy at night... Ant looked up at the deep smog that had settled over the city of Pembroke many years ago... not long after Pembroke was declared the new capital of the former British Isles all those years ago... before the war.
Ant remembers it as if it were about 10 years ago, so he expected the details to be a bit foggy.
Professor Miyamoto about 11 years ago invented the next generation of machinary to compete with the Overlords Playchip 3, which was in popular demand with kids...
Under the company name Nintendo, Prof. Miyamoto released the Nintendo chip into the mass market. Hundreds of people brought them, and had them implanted. Some many happy faces... so much peace in the world...
Then something, as always it seemed, went wrong. The chips started to manufuction, taking the persons will of control with it. They produced hundreds of automated psyhcotic killing machines, and Nintendo had no control over them...
The Overlord had ordered that all Nintendo products to be taking off the market, and ordered that Nintendo was shut down.
Ant pulled out of his daydream, and realised that he was heading straight for a building... He pulled up with ease. But someone behind him, who didn't anticipate his move quickly dodged to the left to avoid Ant, and hit the building that Ant was trying to avoid. The sprialling trail of the hovercars smoke reminded Ant to light his cigarette, which was just clasped unlit between his lips. Ant thought he was going insane...
Ant managed to navigate through the rest of the car maze, and ended up at the Overlords headquarters. Sony HQ.
He landed. Finding a space was easy, just land on top of any car already there. Sometimes you would find stacks of cars miles high, with the Jenga like approuch for the man with the bottom car, attempting to remove his car... There had been several "Jenga" accidents in the last few days.
Ant had left his car, climbed down the stack of cars, and entered the building. He proceeded past reception, and walked down the dark stairs. He took the second door on the left, walked around the fountain in the middle of the room to the third door, past the small wildlife display, through the small hall, under the glass bridge, and through the red double doors.
"Who are you?" Said the man inside.
"My names Ant. I'm a Blade Runner."
"Oh... you looking for the Command office. You should have taken the fourth door near the waterfall, this is the lower hall."
"Oh. Ta."
Page:
What is this anyway?
Hey?
NEWSFLASH!
Ant: I think you guys should see this...
Reporter: Darth Sheepy was today found dead at his PC. He had apparently been reading a post on the Future Of Gaming Forum, entitled "Console School", though this is though to have no relevance to his death.
Dan_uk replied: Does that mean we have to think of an entirely new story to follow this time, rather than take it back down the Star Wars parody route?
FM: It's what Grix would have wanted. We have to find him.
Ant: I think you guys should see this...
Reporter: Darth Sheepy was today found dead at his PC. He had apparently been reading a post on the Future Of Gaming Forum, entitled "Console School", though this is though to have no relevance to his death.
Dan_uk replied: Does that mean we have to think of an entirely new story to follow this time, rather than take it back down the Star Wars parody route?
FM: It's what Grix would have wanted. We have to find him.
As the hovercar shot along the brightly lit streets of Pembroke at just over walking speed, FM mused, to himself.
Hmm, Edgy, wily one, they'd have to be careful with him, he was known for his psychotic episodes and particularly brutal handling of the gamepads.
Grix, the most intelligent of the bunch, definately worth leaving him till last. Maybe by then they'd have worked out how to remove the chips painlessly and non-lethally by practising on the others by then. Maybe not.
Er-no. The last sighting date was a few months ago, not much use, nowhere really to start with that one. Maybe some leads would turn up.
Unknown. Unknown? How could an escapee be unknown? Don't they take roll calls at the holding centre or something? Or was this just a lack of creative writing by a previous poster. So, an unknown quantity then.
Finally, Sniper. Known for his handling of weapons, his marksmanship, and continual questions about who his maker was, where could he find him, and what does and does not constitute a good review.
"We'll be taking down Sniper, first," said FM turning to Ant, who was so startled that he clipped the tops off a couple of lamp posts and then quickly corrected his course.
"Don't do that!" snapped Ant, trying to concentrate on his driving. Dan in the back started to feel a little travel sick.
"Don't do what?"
"Don't suddenly talk to me like that!"
"Oh, so what, I should start talking to you gradually?"
"I dunno, just don't do what you just did."
"Too late, I already have done what I just did."
"Look, if you do again what you just did, after I already told you not to do what you did, but you still go ahead and do it anyway, then there's no telling what I might do!"
"....So what you're saying....is that if you already told me not to do what I did..........
The evening turned to night. You could tell it was night because the sun wasn't there.
Hmm, Edgy, wily one, they'd have to be careful with him, he was known for his psychotic episodes and particularly brutal handling of the gamepads.
Grix, the most intelligent of the bunch, definately worth leaving him till last. Maybe by then they'd have worked out how to remove the chips painlessly and non-lethally by practising on the others by then. Maybe not.
Er-no. The last sighting date was a few months ago, not much use, nowhere really to start with that one. Maybe some leads would turn up.
Unknown. Unknown? How could an escapee be unknown? Don't they take roll calls at the holding centre or something? Or was this just a lack of creative writing by a previous poster. So, an unknown quantity then.
Finally, Sniper. Known for his handling of weapons, his marksmanship, and continual questions about who his maker was, where could he find him, and what does and does not constitute a good review.
"We'll be taking down Sniper, first," said FM turning to Ant, who was so startled that he clipped the tops off a couple of lamp posts and then quickly corrected his course.
"Don't do that!" snapped Ant, trying to concentrate on his driving. Dan in the back started to feel a little travel sick.
"Don't do what?"
"Don't suddenly talk to me like that!"
"Oh, so what, I should start talking to you gradually?"
"I dunno, just don't do what you just did."
"Too late, I already have done what I just did."
"Look, if you do again what you just did, after I already told you not to do what you did, but you still go ahead and do it anyway, then there's no telling what I might do!"
"....So what you're saying....is that if you already told me not to do what I did..........
The evening turned to night. You could tell it was night because the sun wasn't there.
Ant was sitting in the back, looking very angry and eating an alarmingly large amout of sugar.
FM was talking, "so if I did what you told me not to do, which I said I'd already done, which you said you knew, but don't do it again, and I say I've already done it anyway, and you say that you know that I know that you know that I've already done it.........."
FM's voice carried on through the night.
FM was talking, "so if I did what you told me not to do, which I said I'd already done, which you said you knew, but don't do it again, and I say I've already done it anyway, and you say that you know that I know that you know that I've already done it.........."
FM's voice carried on through the night.
Ant and FM had finally fallen asleep.
Dan_UK, deciding he was tired as well, put it on an autopilot course.
Just as he'd fallen asleep it seemed, he woke up to the sound of the Autopilot alert. This means it had stopped working, and they were probably about to smash into a building.
He got up, and looked outside.
"Oh, boll..."
You see, the alert had gone off, just after the hovercar had just smashed into a tree.
"What's the bl**dy point in having a bl**dy alarm, when it doesn't bl**dy well go off until you've actually hit something."
They hadn't woken up from the force of the blow as they were sleeping in special sleeping chambers situated at the back of the hovercar.
Unfortunately, Ant's sugar, was not in a special sleeping chamber.
Dan looked in horror at the amount of sugar there was over the hovercar, and outside on the ground.
Only one bag had survived.
Ant and FM had now woken.
Ant looked around, "OH S***!!"
Dan_UK, deciding he was tired as well, put it on an autopilot course.
Just as he'd fallen asleep it seemed, he woke up to the sound of the Autopilot alert. This means it had stopped working, and they were probably about to smash into a building.
He got up, and looked outside.
"Oh, boll..."
You see, the alert had gone off, just after the hovercar had just smashed into a tree.
"What's the bl**dy point in having a bl**dy alarm, when it doesn't bl**dy well go off until you've actually hit something."
They hadn't woken up from the force of the blow as they were sleeping in special sleeping chambers situated at the back of the hovercar.
Unfortunately, Ant's sugar, was not in a special sleeping chamber.
Dan looked in horror at the amount of sugar there was over the hovercar, and outside on the ground.
Only one bag had survived.
Ant and FM had now woken.
Ant looked around, "OH S***!!"
I am a freak without warning, cause I am so horny!!!!
A FREAK WITHOUT WARNING,
I won't tell your mummer if you dont tell your dadder.
A FREAK WITHOUT WARNING,
I won't tell your mummer if you dont tell your dadder.
Very good work now. BEEP! delete.
As they all stood there looking at the sugary scene around them, a strange noise filtered in, making a whoop whoop sound. This was followed by the appearance of an old looking blue police box.
Ant looked at it for a while with a grimace. "What the hell is that doing here? Did we ask for Doctor who?"
Just then the door opened and PB stepped out, not (as everyone was expecting) wearing a long scarf and wide-brimmed hat.
Pb "Look guys, I've never been in one of these stories before, so I had to make an entrance. Besides, since I've got the tardis I can whisk you all back to the past to clear up the mess."
Grix thought for a moment and replied "Can I go back to last tuesday?"
"Why?" everyone else asked.
"Well," started Grix, "I forgot to pay the telephone bill and it was due on wednesday."
The loose door of the hovercar finally gave in and fell with a *click*
Ant looked at it for a while with a grimace. "What the hell is that doing here? Did we ask for Doctor who?"
Just then the door opened and PB stepped out, not (as everyone was expecting) wearing a long scarf and wide-brimmed hat.
Pb "Look guys, I've never been in one of these stories before, so I had to make an entrance. Besides, since I've got the tardis I can whisk you all back to the past to clear up the mess."
Grix thought for a moment and replied "Can I go back to last tuesday?"
"Why?" everyone else asked.
"Well," started Grix, "I forgot to pay the telephone bill and it was due on wednesday."
The loose door of the hovercar finally gave in and fell with a *click*
Author's note:
Strange as it may appear, plot twists do happen, and the appearance of Grix into the storyline was not only intentional, but actually essential to the unfolding plot.
So the story starts from here:
5 men and a Tardis are standing in a field next to a wrecked hovercar and a small mound of sugar, which Ant is desperately scrabbling around trying to scoop up before any of his little bretheren, who also live in the aforementioned field, may also have culinary designs upon, (deep breath, continue), when FM turns to PB, Grix, Dan, and Ant and says:
"What was it I was saying?"
Strange as it may appear, plot twists do happen, and the appearance of Grix into the storyline was not only intentional, but actually essential to the unfolding plot.
So the story starts from here:
5 men and a Tardis are standing in a field next to a wrecked hovercar and a small mound of sugar, which Ant is desperately scrabbling around trying to scoop up before any of his little bretheren, who also live in the aforementioned field, may also have culinary designs upon, (deep breath, continue), when FM turns to PB, Grix, Dan, and Ant and says:
"What was it I was saying?"
Page: