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"Life and the boredom it brings"

Whats wrong with me?

I can't find contentment, and worse, I what it is in my life that is wrong.

I used to believe that all we had to do was to put our faith in God. I used to believe that I had a space inside me that was God shaped, and that when I truely believed in God I would be Happy. I don't believe so any more. I've been deluding myself. There is no god, and if there is a god, there is no love for me.

I thought that being in love would make me happy. When I was younger I would stare at myself in the mirror and think to myself, If only somebody would kiss me I would be happy forever. If only someone loved me I would be vindicated in this life.

I found someone to love me. So why am I crying everyday. Why do I get bored even when my love is with me. He doesn't make me happy, I make him sad. I make him desperate because there is nothing he can do to stop me crying.

I'm bored all the time. I have no interest in anything I do. TV, Video games, DVDs, Music, Books. I buy and buy in the hope that one of these things will lift my boredom, give me a purpose, and for a time I find a new game or TV seris, or a book that distracts me. 40 hours of Final Fantasy fantasy or Buffy the Vampire Slayer later I'm left with nothing. I've invested my time into a fantasy that isn't real.

So someone please tell me, what are we here for. What is the point in this life. We live and We die. A small handful of us do something worthwhile behind. A mark on the world. But even then we still die. We are still dead, and we have nothing.

100 posts in one day, and every one of them worth reading [in my opinion].

Fantastic thread. Wish we had more like this.

And I got the 100th post, whoo. {:)


Please don't scold me for saying that Goaty.

I like to write, and apart from SRW I haven't been writing anything original lately...so maybe I should to try and clear my head, just something to take my mind off other stuff. So I've decided to go back to my FOG roots and write one of my rather large FOG stories...dunno where I'll post it, probably here.

Dunno why that deserves to go in this topic...probably because it helped me to just think about life for a bit, I haven't chatted like this for a while. I should probably come here more often.

Everybody needs something to get them through, some people have religion. Doesn't mean that this is right for everyone, but it also does not mean that the only reason religion exists is for people to have something to get them through.

Honest friends got me through, friends that weren't afraid to mentally slap me round the chops and drag me kicking and screaming out of my depression. I'd recommend it but, hey, what works for one doesn't always work for another.

Heh, I see. Just came back from my Christian Youth Group actually, and that's kind of helped me. I've been feeling pretty faithless lately but just talking (or mainly listening in my case) to other Christians usually helps.

Maybe that's what you need, I don't know...I'm not too sure what I need at the moment, I'm too confused. Well actually, I think I do know what I need, but I'm worried that if I get it then it'll be taken away...but then again, I'm worried that if I never do anything to get it then I'll just waste it by living in hope...


Hehe, see what I mean? That's like my mind at the moment...and I've still got masses of IT coursework to do for next monday. :D

Ant wrote:
> By the way, were you using me to represent other people, or is there
> something that I personally have? Youth?

You personally have the faith that I have lost. I guess its odd that faith reminds me of someone on a chatforum.

RosaIind wrote:
> Thats funny Ant, because I always think that you have what I need to
> be happy, and your still unhappy.
>
> Funny world.

Heh, yep.

By the way, were you using me to represent other people, or is there something that I personally have? Youth?

So, what you're sayin is, you don't stone people that often.
How different we are.

I might do tomorrow.

Would give me something different to do anyway.

Kill whoever it is.
With rocks.
And corks