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"Life and the boredom it brings"

Whats wrong with me?

I can't find contentment, and worse, I what it is in my life that is wrong.

I used to believe that all we had to do was to put our faith in God. I used to believe that I had a space inside me that was God shaped, and that when I truely believed in God I would be Happy. I don't believe so any more. I've been deluding myself. There is no god, and if there is a god, there is no love for me.

I thought that being in love would make me happy. When I was younger I would stare at myself in the mirror and think to myself, If only somebody would kiss me I would be happy forever. If only someone loved me I would be vindicated in this life.

I found someone to love me. So why am I crying everyday. Why do I get bored even when my love is with me. He doesn't make me happy, I make him sad. I make him desperate because there is nothing he can do to stop me crying.

I'm bored all the time. I have no interest in anything I do. TV, Video games, DVDs, Music, Books. I buy and buy in the hope that one of these things will lift my boredom, give me a purpose, and for a time I find a new game or TV seris, or a book that distracts me. 40 hours of Final Fantasy fantasy or Buffy the Vampire Slayer later I'm left with nothing. I've invested my time into a fantasy that isn't real.

So someone please tell me, what are we here for. What is the point in this life. We live and We die. A small handful of us do something worthwhile behind. A mark on the world. But even then we still die. We are still dead, and we have nothing.

Grix Thraves wrote:
> Tell you what... the next stranger I see that I think is beautiful,
> I'll try and tell them they are. I'll probably get arrested. :0)

Get someone to record it, just for a laugh :D

If they didn't think it was erpvy you saying they were beautiful, they will now :D

Want to feel childish?

Go skipping, or listen to a song with crap lyrics and ridiculously fast tempo.

Equally, thats my answer to everything.

RosaIind wrote:

"Imagine people coming up to you all day and telling you the truth about what they think of you."

Maybe I could tell you that I think you're silly in the way that you do something, but maybe I could tell you that I think you're beautiful. Do you fear being judged? I do, too much. Not so much by people I know... but strangely, by the people I don't.

Tell you what... the next stranger I see that I think is beautiful, I'll try and tell them they are. I'll probably get arrested. :0)

Maybe I'll get a haircut first. This long hair must make me seem so suspicious. :0D

Grix Thraves wrote:
> Mmmm... here's a thought then. Maybe maturity is contentment. Maybe
> maturity isn't always trying to be somewhere... but just being happy
> with where you are.
>
> The journey is more important than the destination and all that.

I'd agree, I think maturity is just an undefinable word. When people say your inmature etc what's their measurement for maturity, what are they comparing you to? Themselves? Then I don't want to be mature to be honest!

RosaIind wrote:

> I do anything but atempt to be an adult. I attempt to be childish.
> It doesn't work. Adult things are thrust upon us at all times.

Just continue the attempt to be childish is all I can say then. Whenever I'm out with the other half, we will always try walking along a wall, or will just do silly walks, and just generally muck about. We get some really strange looks, but at the end of the day it keeps me happy and feeling young.

I know what you mean about things being out of your Mums control, and that they're problems she can't solve, but even to be able to have someone to talk to is sometimes all that is needed!

Mmmm... here's a thought then. Maybe maturity is contentment. Maybe maturity isn't always trying to be somewhere... but just being happy with where you are.

The journey is more important than the destination and all that.

Grix Thraves wrote:

> Maybe we should learn to speak everything we think at the moment we
> think it.

i wouldn't like that. Imagine people coming up to you all day and telling you the truth about what they think of you. I would prefer not to know stuff like that. People on the whole aren't laugh.

And the award for the most annoying and overquoted glurge:

"Strangers are just friends you haven't met"

URG.

And that was to me too, sorry, giving advice out that I should take too.

See you later man.

I have a friend at school who tries to act mature, and openly admits to it, with going to book clubs. But I just hope he doesn't jump into adulthood to quickly, because I lot of people here seem to desperately want to be a child again.

Can't learn much without pain though.

Maybe we should learn to speak everything we think at the moment we think it.