Viewing Thread:
"Crash Bang Wallop What a TV Show"

"It's hotter than the sun"

"He drew a chalk pen1s on the back of my blazer and I got caned for it"

"Back of the net"

[pointing at Lynn's hair] "Is that your mother's money coming through? That's all part of the bereavement dividend. She was quite a heiferlump though, I'd say she was big-hearted but that would be bull****"

"Guess which one of you ladies I'm going to make love to now"

"British roads are among the safest in Europe. But this isn't Britain, [puts on German voice] dis is der Autobahn"

"Get you on the old jeans rule? Nazis! Only with excellent facilities. As had the Nazis"

"This is a petrol station, not the Gulf War. Which is ironically a giant petrol station."

"I use Lynx Africa"

"F***y hair!"

If you don't know what I'm talking about, you missed the funniest TV show ever last night, in I'm Alan Partridge. Make sure you catch it next week.

"This Apple Turnover contains a filling that's about 1000 degrees centigrade. If I squeeze it, a jet of molten hot Bramley apple will squirt out, it could go your way, it could go mine. Either way, one of us is going down."

Brilliant.

"Don't worry Lynn, it's just a balloon that simulates the sound of rectal gas".

****

"How long has he been at your church?"

"Two weeks"

"He's a con man!".

****

"Lexi"

****

It's still damn good, just not as good.

Errr

Well I thought that was the worst episode so far, really. It had a few good liners, but overall sadly the worst Partridge.

"It's like hardcore Benny Hill"

"Ai, but badgers are a pest like, yae ganna whack 'em with a shovel"
"I wouldn't whack Lyn with a shovel Michael"

" You're laughing at weather "

Michael: "I was reading about re-incarnation, like, and I'd wanna come back as a dolphin..."

Alan: "Dolphins are actually quite intelligent, Michael. Can you do this?"
[makes dolphin noise]

Michael: "Naw, but I can do a.. a whale noise. OoOoOoOooOohhh."

Alan: "Michael, that was a homosexual."

"I dont want to be part of your sex festival"

"Dy'e wan some soup?"
"I'm not homeless!"

"Lynn, we've got to get out of here, they're sex people. This is DefCon 1. Actually, that's the work surface I was looking at..."

"I tried to out dance a computer... impossible... and then I shot some zombies with a child in care. Wiped the floor with him."

"Do ye want some beans in a cup? With a sausage?"
"It's like a savoury 99."

"I have mental health problems. I once drove to Dundee in bare feet."

" I'm brave... my eyes are falling out "

" DAAANN DAAAAAAN DAAAAAAAAAN DAAAAAAAAAAN "




" DAAAAAAAAAN "