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"Crash Bang Wallop What a TV Show"

"It's hotter than the sun"

"He drew a chalk pen1s on the back of my blazer and I got caned for it"

"Back of the net"

[pointing at Lynn's hair] "Is that your mother's money coming through? That's all part of the bereavement dividend. She was quite a heiferlump though, I'd say she was big-hearted but that would be bull****"

"Guess which one of you ladies I'm going to make love to now"

"British roads are among the safest in Europe. But this isn't Britain, [puts on German voice] dis is der Autobahn"

"Get you on the old jeans rule? Nazis! Only with excellent facilities. As had the Nazis"

"This is a petrol station, not the Gulf War. Which is ironically a giant petrol station."

"I use Lynx Africa"

"F***y hair!"

If you don't know what I'm talking about, you missed the funniest TV show ever last night, in I'm Alan Partridge. Make sure you catch it next week.

"This Apple Turnover contains a filling that's about 1000 degrees centigrade. If I squeeze it, a jet of molten hot Bramley apple will squirt out, it could go your way, it could go mine. Either way, one of us is going down."

Brilliant.

"Yes and I'm still thinking about it in my head, which you're going to knock off"

See tagline. Although I couldn't fit it all in though.....I wanted "Destroying my cereals", but couldn't fit the "S" on, dangit.

"Dr. Pepper tastes like fizzy Benylin"

UW.

"Dr Nowt"

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"He's got all sorts of gadgets like the pen that you take the lid off and jam it into someone's eye"

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"It says on my badge, here to help you".

"No it dosn't, what made you think it did?"

"I must have dreamt it"

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"The riased lettering would give too much details about death and would probably attract crumbs"

'looks like Michael Bolton on steroids.'

And the whole honking the horn thing for the lorry.

But did anyone notice Alan's glaring 007 error?

He said Fiona Fullerton was in 'The Spy Who Loved Me', when she's actually in 'A View To A Kill'

......I'll get me anorak.

Classic moment when she dropped the Sunny Delight into his entire collection of Bond Films.

*chuckles*

SHEEPY wrote:
> I love you... in a way

You've got broken English and you're very sexy but I don't trust you...

Other classics from last night's episode:

"STOP GETTING BOND WRONG!"
"That's not a gadget Michael, that's just monstrous use of a Biro."
"Timothy Dalton didn't play it as a Welshman Lynn. He didn't say 'The names Bond... [welsh accent] The Jones Bond... double O sevehnnnn... View to a Kiiichccccchhhhhhl"
"Dr Nowt"

I love you... in a way

Butter my arrse