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"EXTRA EXTRA GAMEADAY PRIZE (wedding speech)"

There is only one prize available and will can only be won IF I use parts of your speech in my speech at my daughter's wedding on Friday.

If I don't use any parts of any of the speeches submitted then there will be no prize.

The closing date is MIDNIGHT WEDNESDAY 22nd AUGUST.


The speech starts with these words:

I wonder why we GIVE away our daughters in England. BUT - DON'T USE THIS IN YOUR SPEECH PLEASE. It's just intended be a one liner which implies that they get paid for their daughters in other countries.

You carry on and write the rest (please)

Help!


Sarah is 5' 2" and Wayne is about 6' 4". They met while they were working in the Special Reserve shop in Chelmsford. Wayne was the supervisor then! He was a PC technician at the time, now he's a jet-setting systems guru.

*Tony taps glass to grab attention of the big audience*

Now I've promised I won't make this a long speech so I won't

Dearly beloved.... we are gathered here today to pay our final respects to Susan and Wayne nefore the go down the path of ruin

Now Wayne, you do know the costs of entering this family do you?? Because you are entering this family *name of groom*, this will cost you 6.99 a year, with no obligation to buy anything and you get plenty of free gifts from family members when you marry!

*Remind the audience with the way you were informed with the announcement of your daughter's marriage unless it was not very funny then don't, now would also be a good time to amuse the crowd by telling a funny tale about Sarah if there are any, and tell a joke about one of Wayne's calamities at work *and I'm sure there are many!*)

After thinking of the man my darling daughter was too marry I believed that no-one was good enough for her, but it seems I was wrong, little did I knew that when I shaked his hand and welcomed him to the team that a few months later he would be my daughter's husband. It kind of makes you feel old doing this, but it certainly is an honour.

I did say that I wouldn't talk for long, but I've probably talked for long enough, so without any furthur delay can you raise your glass and give a big hand to the bride and groom

I bet you are all expecting one of those long, boring speeches which fathers usually give at weddings, aren't you?? well this is not the case. All i want to say is congratulations my darling sarah, and i couldn't of hoped you'd marry a better a man, you are a lucky girl.

And Wayne, I hope you know the resposibility you have taken on, it will be you doing the washing up, the washing and the cooking, actually you will be doing everything except having the children (everyone laughs). Look after my daughter, and Wayne you are probably the luckiest man on the Earth,

*Tony starts to sit down but then stands back up again*

I'm sorry everybody i told a bit of a lie a moment ago, this speech will be long, well kind off, because face it no speech is the same without the embarrasing stories are they.

*Tony then strts to tell all the embarrassing stpries of his daughters childhood up until now*

Well i would like to once again say Congratulations to my daughter Sarah and her loving husban Wayne. So if everyone could now raise there glasses, i would like to propose a toast to Sarah and Wayne

thank you.

*Tony sits down*

~"Wayne before you go off on your honeymoon know this.. I'm your father in law MAHHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!"

~I don't know whether you have seen the film father of the bride... but everything that guy went through has been a living nightmare to me!

Here's some random lines you may want to get in your speech

~I wonder why we GIVE our daughters away. If we didn't live in England then I would have got a hefty large sum Wayne for my daughter as she's top quality as I'm sure Wayne's discovered.

~It makes me feel old to think they are getting married. Soon they will be having grandchildren (shudders).

~I thought I was good at keeping things in the family. I got my daughter to work in my business but obviously I'm not good enough as I'm losing her.

~If it wasn't for me hiring Wayne, Sarah would never have met him (Tony to himself) WHY DID I HIRE WAYNE?!!? WHY DID I HIRE WAYNE!?! (Kicks himself). Following by an "only joking" if they don't laugh you are in trouble

~I'm still trying to get used to Sarah having the second name "inSERT second name here" followed by witty comment. (I'd make one up but I don't know surname)

Ah but there's only 1 tony which is your daughter's father...

Well you see life is like cheese... something like that :D

pop. for Tony's sake!

Tony wrote:
> Sniper wrote:
> OF course they know it's tony!

They won't
> know that Tony is the only Tony.

There can be only one.

Thanx 4 the back up Tony.

Sniper wrote:
> OF course they know it's tony!

They won't know that Tony is the only Tony.

There can be only one.

I wish the happy couple all my love as they enter into the world of marriage, also known as 'hell.'