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There is only one prize available and will can only be won IF I use parts of your speech in my speech at my daughter's wedding on Friday.
If I don't use any parts of any of the speeches submitted then there will be no prize.
The closing date is MIDNIGHT WEDNESDAY 22nd AUGUST.
The speech starts with these words:
I wonder why we GIVE away our daughters in England. BUT - DON'T USE THIS IN YOUR SPEECH PLEASE. It's just intended be a one liner which implies that they get paid for their daughters in other countries.
You carry on and write the rest (please)
Help!
Sarah is 5' 2" and Wayne is about 6' 4". They met while they were working in the Special Reserve shop in Chelmsford. Wayne was the supervisor then! He was a PC technician at the time, now he's a jet-setting systems guru.
If I don't use any parts of any of the speeches submitted then there will be no prize.
The closing date is MIDNIGHT WEDNESDAY 22nd AUGUST.
The speech starts with these words:
I wonder why we GIVE away our daughters in England. BUT - DON'T USE THIS IN YOUR SPEECH PLEASE. It's just intended be a one liner which implies that they get paid for their daughters in other countries.
You carry on and write the rest (please)
Help!
Sarah is 5' 2" and Wayne is about 6' 4". They met while they were working in the Special Reserve shop in Chelmsford. Wayne was the supervisor then! He was a PC technician at the time, now he's a jet-setting systems guru.
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Demand that they work for you tony, you have rights you know ;o)
Awe thanks guys.
Sarah worked in out Marketing team until recently. Wayne left us two or three years ago. So neither of them actually work for us now.
Sarah worked in out Marketing team until recently. Wayne left us two or three years ago. So neither of them actually work for us now.
Nice speech Tony, and well done Nick.
Has Sarah got Wayne to ask you for a payrise yet, Tony?
:-)
Congrats on becoming a father-in-law.
:-)
Congrats on becoming a father-in-law.
Thanks for the "mention" Tony.
Those platform shoes would have to be mighty big, 10 inches or so.
They are DEATH SHOES!
Those platform shoes would have to be mighty big, 10 inches or so.
They are DEATH SHOES!
Nice speach Tony.
OK - with the exception of a few adlibs, this is the speech as it was written. I took five of contributions (written int he middle of the speech) and pasted them into wedding cards. Thus I was able to read your contributions as messages from our customers.
Although I used a number of your ideas, the one which was directly incorporated into my speech was the "Family Membership Fee" from Seifer. This did receive a good laugh and therefore the GAD Prize goes to Seifer.
Bad luck to SnoopDoggyDan who was just squeezed out by Seifer's wit. But there can be only one winner.
First of all I would like to welcome Wayne to our family.
I suppose I could say that my loss is Wayne's gain. But I don't look upon it that I am losing a daughter. More that Wayne is gaining a Father in Law.
And a grown up brother Clifford, a 15 year old sister Melanie, two young brothers to play with - Timothy and Matthew. And of course the Mother in Law, Lesley - or TWO if you count Sarah's step mother, Karen.
With the immediate family being confusing enough - Wayne should be able to put his computer skills to good use by programming a database of the wider family. This may come in handy if Sarah and Wayne ever do a World tour.
Traditionally membership to an exclusive family does carry a price. In this case a family membership costs £6.99 per year but this includes 6 issues of the Special Reserve club magazine.
When Wayne and Sarah first met, their relationship was slightly different - Wayne was in charge.
Sarah met Wayne at the our Shop in Chelmsford.
And with this in mind I asked some of our customers to comment on the marriage.
This is what they said.
pb said
Statistics prove that 50% of all people that get married around this time of year are women.
pb also quoted George Nathan (whoever he is)
“Marriage is based on the theory, that when a man discovers, a particular brand of beer, exactly to his taste, he should at once throw in his job and go to work in the brewery”
Ant had this to say:
And remember Wayne, when your first child starts playing video games, you must shop for all your consoles, games and accessories, at Special Reserve.
Gas Mask recommends Yellow Pages for the couple.
But I'm not sure that he is aware of the size of Sarah's platform shoes.
Monkey with Attitude said:
But Wayne, marrying Sarah means there is no escape from the kitchen. She'll need YOU to reach the top shelf.
SnoopDoggyDan reminded us of how the pair met up: This is what he said:
After years of Dad going on to Sarah about Special Reserve, Sarah finally decided to go to the Chelmsford shop to see what the fuss was all about. She wandered around a bit, remembered she didn’t actually like gaming, so picked up a DVD Movie and went to pay at the counter.
The spotty shop assistant put the 'Erotic Witch Project' DVD in a bag, but then Sarah heard a loud BANG.
When she turned around she gazed into the stomach of a man who had just banged his head on the doorway. After arching her neck up, she saw his face and instantly fell in love.
The man turned round, looked downwards and met her gaze with equal amazement.
Then they were abruptly interrupted:
"Here’s your Erotic Witch Project ? thanks for buying from Special Reserve" shouted the acne-challenged assistant
Sarah went as red as a beetroot, grabbed the bag from him, hung her head in embarrassment, and started to run out of the shop.
"Wait!" shouted the tall man in a thick Essex accent.
Sarah stopped and turned around.
"My name is Wayne ? would you...erm... like any...er... company to watch that film?"
Wayne? Sarah thought. Oh well ? why not, it’s better than my last boyfriend Trevor. [editors note - the suggested name of "Dwayne" is too close to Wayne's surname which does begin with "Dw" ]
Oh - Hi there I’m Sarah Rainbird, the daughter of the SR boss". Quivering with anticipation, and shaking with concern for his career, Wayne gave her his number.
And the rest, shall we say ? is history!"
Of course everything you get at Special Reserve comes with a Total Satisfation Guarantee.
I am being very honest when I say that I am very very proud indeed of my only daughter Sarah. I would like to say that she turned out right because of my influence. But with Sarah I don't think the work influence is in the dictionary.
Sarah is honest..... she has a great attitude and plenty of emotion.
She is not afraid of a challenge and she has a lively personality.
Looking at her today, she looks a dream, she looks lovely.
She looks happy, and I am sure that she, and Wayne, will be happy.
I am not intending to go back in time to bring up anecdotes from the past.
But those of us who witnessed Sarah's reaction to her car accident in 1996 were truly impressed by her spirit and determination.
She suffered a frightening situation of being badly injured AND trapped in her car away from the road and out of sight. She had the wherewithall to stay calm and eventually attract the attention of a nearby resident. And she was subsequently hospitalised with a badly injured leg.
A week later she was with us on crutches for the family holiday in Devon. Sarah overcame the steepest hills you can imagine, in fact descending over a mile through Clovelly, the steepest village in England. She showed nothing but a positive attitude for the whole holiday. Enjoying the holiday with us and giving us enjoyment too.
Such is the way that Sarah deals with life. They say that happiness is found in meeting a challenge, instead of expecting from others. I think that is very much the way that Sarah is.
And everybody loves her for it.
I'd like to thank you all for coming to this great occassion to support Sarah and Wayne. Sarah, I am sure you have the appreciation of everybody here for organising it so well.
Tremendous thanks to Karen for making a superb wedding cake. Not easy when you have two young children at home on school holidays. And to everybody else who has contributed to make
this an occassion to remember.
But above all else I would like to wish Sarah and Wayne every happiness. I wish them their health, good luck, prosperity and success as they take their lives forward. I wish them the one word that sums this all up - A happy family.
Ladies and Gentlemen. A toast to Mr and Mrs Wayne Dwyer.
Although I used a number of your ideas, the one which was directly incorporated into my speech was the "Family Membership Fee" from Seifer. This did receive a good laugh and therefore the GAD Prize goes to Seifer.
Bad luck to SnoopDoggyDan who was just squeezed out by Seifer's wit. But there can be only one winner.
First of all I would like to welcome Wayne to our family.
I suppose I could say that my loss is Wayne's gain. But I don't look upon it that I am losing a daughter. More that Wayne is gaining a Father in Law.
And a grown up brother Clifford, a 15 year old sister Melanie, two young brothers to play with - Timothy and Matthew. And of course the Mother in Law, Lesley - or TWO if you count Sarah's step mother, Karen.
With the immediate family being confusing enough - Wayne should be able to put his computer skills to good use by programming a database of the wider family. This may come in handy if Sarah and Wayne ever do a World tour.
Traditionally membership to an exclusive family does carry a price. In this case a family membership costs £6.99 per year but this includes 6 issues of the Special Reserve club magazine.
When Wayne and Sarah first met, their relationship was slightly different - Wayne was in charge.
Sarah met Wayne at the our Shop in Chelmsford.
And with this in mind I asked some of our customers to comment on the marriage.
This is what they said.
pb said
Statistics prove that 50% of all people that get married around this time of year are women.
pb also quoted George Nathan (whoever he is)
“Marriage is based on the theory, that when a man discovers, a particular brand of beer, exactly to his taste, he should at once throw in his job and go to work in the brewery”
Ant had this to say:
And remember Wayne, when your first child starts playing video games, you must shop for all your consoles, games and accessories, at Special Reserve.
Gas Mask recommends Yellow Pages for the couple.
But I'm not sure that he is aware of the size of Sarah's platform shoes.
Monkey with Attitude said:
But Wayne, marrying Sarah means there is no escape from the kitchen. She'll need YOU to reach the top shelf.
SnoopDoggyDan reminded us of how the pair met up: This is what he said:
After years of Dad going on to Sarah about Special Reserve, Sarah finally decided to go to the Chelmsford shop to see what the fuss was all about. She wandered around a bit, remembered she didn’t actually like gaming, so picked up a DVD Movie and went to pay at the counter.
The spotty shop assistant put the 'Erotic Witch Project' DVD in a bag, but then Sarah heard a loud BANG.
When she turned around she gazed into the stomach of a man who had just banged his head on the doorway. After arching her neck up, she saw his face and instantly fell in love.
The man turned round, looked downwards and met her gaze with equal amazement.
Then they were abruptly interrupted:
"Here’s your Erotic Witch Project ? thanks for buying from Special Reserve" shouted the acne-challenged assistant
Sarah went as red as a beetroot, grabbed the bag from him, hung her head in embarrassment, and started to run out of the shop.
"Wait!" shouted the tall man in a thick Essex accent.
Sarah stopped and turned around.
"My name is Wayne ? would you...erm... like any...er... company to watch that film?"
Wayne? Sarah thought. Oh well ? why not, it’s better than my last boyfriend Trevor. [editors note - the suggested name of "Dwayne" is too close to Wayne's surname which does begin with "Dw" ]
Oh - Hi there I’m Sarah Rainbird, the daughter of the SR boss". Quivering with anticipation, and shaking with concern for his career, Wayne gave her his number.
And the rest, shall we say ? is history!"
Of course everything you get at Special Reserve comes with a Total Satisfation Guarantee.
I am being very honest when I say that I am very very proud indeed of my only daughter Sarah. I would like to say that she turned out right because of my influence. But with Sarah I don't think the work influence is in the dictionary.
Sarah is honest..... she has a great attitude and plenty of emotion.
She is not afraid of a challenge and she has a lively personality.
Looking at her today, she looks a dream, she looks lovely.
She looks happy, and I am sure that she, and Wayne, will be happy.
I am not intending to go back in time to bring up anecdotes from the past.
But those of us who witnessed Sarah's reaction to her car accident in 1996 were truly impressed by her spirit and determination.
She suffered a frightening situation of being badly injured AND trapped in her car away from the road and out of sight. She had the wherewithall to stay calm and eventually attract the attention of a nearby resident. And she was subsequently hospitalised with a badly injured leg.
A week later she was with us on crutches for the family holiday in Devon. Sarah overcame the steepest hills you can imagine, in fact descending over a mile through Clovelly, the steepest village in England. She showed nothing but a positive attitude for the whole holiday. Enjoying the holiday with us and giving us enjoyment too.
Such is the way that Sarah deals with life. They say that happiness is found in meeting a challenge, instead of expecting from others. I think that is very much the way that Sarah is.
And everybody loves her for it.
I'd like to thank you all for coming to this great occassion to support Sarah and Wayne. Sarah, I am sure you have the appreciation of everybody here for organising it so well.
Tremendous thanks to Karen for making a superb wedding cake. Not easy when you have two young children at home on school holidays. And to everybody else who has contributed to make
this an occassion to remember.
But above all else I would like to wish Sarah and Wayne every happiness. I wish them their health, good luck, prosperity and success as they take their lives forward. I wish them the one word that sums this all up - A happy family.
Ladies and Gentlemen. A toast to Mr and Mrs Wayne Dwyer.
Good speech Tony.
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