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Hi guys again, I am quite nervous of posting this on here but I thought you needed something a little light hearted and different to the usual short stories!
This is what I dream of doing one day writing stories for little kids in poetry form.. so please read and open the inner kid inside.. and constructive critism please?? ok! Love ginge x
Quiet Little Boy.
In a quiet little village
In a quiet little place
Lives a quite little boy
Who is fascinated by space
On a clear quiet night
He would lay on the grass
Gazing ahead and counting the stars
With a pair of binoculars
For as far as he could see
He’d calculate and navigate
The whole galaxy
From the edge, to the edge, of the edge
Of the night
He’d uncover and discover
With such delight
That when he shut his eyes
He would dream
Of riding shooting stars
Bright orange and green
He’d bounce and pounce on the
Side of the moon
And watch the fiery glow
Of planet Neptune
He could play with Martians
On a planet called Mars
And teach them football and baseball
And how to play cards
And teach them of earth
And its oceans and mountains
And all of the good things
Like sweeties and family outings
He could sail on a boat
On the Milky Way
While eating cookies
And drinking lemonade
Watching comets and meteorites
As big as the lands
He could smile and wave
At passing spaceman
Then drift back to the night
And lay on the grass
Just gazing ahead
And counting the stars
For in a quiet little village
In a quiet little place
Lives a quiet little boy
Who is fascinated by space!
This is what I dream of doing one day writing stories for little kids in poetry form.. so please read and open the inner kid inside.. and constructive critism please?? ok! Love ginge x
Quiet Little Boy.
In a quiet little village
In a quiet little place
Lives a quite little boy
Who is fascinated by space
On a clear quiet night
He would lay on the grass
Gazing ahead and counting the stars
With a pair of binoculars
For as far as he could see
He’d calculate and navigate
The whole galaxy
From the edge, to the edge, of the edge
Of the night
He’d uncover and discover
With such delight
That when he shut his eyes
He would dream
Of riding shooting stars
Bright orange and green
He’d bounce and pounce on the
Side of the moon
And watch the fiery glow
Of planet Neptune
He could play with Martians
On a planet called Mars
And teach them football and baseball
And how to play cards
And teach them of earth
And its oceans and mountains
And all of the good things
Like sweeties and family outings
He could sail on a boat
On the Milky Way
While eating cookies
And drinking lemonade
Watching comets and meteorites
As big as the lands
He could smile and wave
At passing spaceman
Then drift back to the night
And lay on the grass
Just gazing ahead
And counting the stars
For in a quiet little village
In a quiet little place
Lives a quiet little boy
Who is fascinated by space!
Page:
Flockhart wrote:
> Lil Bro wrote:
> One thing I disliked because I thought it didn't fit in with the
> overall rythm was:
>
> 'On a clear quiet night
> He would lay on the grass
> Gazing ahead and counting the stars'
>
It was supposed to go .. I think
'On a clear quiet night
He would lay on the grass
Gazing ahead
And counting the stars'
> Lil Bro wrote:
> One thing I disliked because I thought it didn't fit in with the
> overall rythm was:
>
> 'On a clear quiet night
> He would lay on the grass
> Gazing ahead and counting the stars'
>
It was supposed to go .. I think
'On a clear quiet night
He would lay on the grass
Gazing ahead
And counting the stars'
Wow thankyou guys
i was so worried
Its my life dream and I would love to know that I have made some little kids imagination run wild like books did for me. :)
i was so worried
Its my life dream and I would love to know that I have made some little kids imagination run wild like books did for me. :)
Lil Bro wrote:
> One thing I disliked because I thought it didn't fit in with the
> overall rythm was:
>
> 'On a clear quiet night
> He would lay on the grass
> Gazing ahead and counting the stars'
Yes it was the only 3 line verse but it didnt matter because it was only the second verse and you havent got stuck in a rythym by that time.
> One thing I disliked because I thought it didn't fit in with the
> overall rythm was:
>
> 'On a clear quiet night
> He would lay on the grass
> Gazing ahead and counting the stars'
Yes it was the only 3 line verse but it didnt matter because it was only the second verse and you havent got stuck in a rythym by that time.
Nice one, 'lil lady.
It does need a little tightening, here and there, to fit the pattern - but otherwise, most good for the kiddies.
Reminds me of that book .... can't remember what it's called.
But a bear flies into space in a cardboard box, and has a picnic on the moon with an owl.
Happy days.
It does need a little tightening, here and there, to fit the pattern - but otherwise, most good for the kiddies.
Reminds me of that book .... can't remember what it's called.
But a bear flies into space in a cardboard box, and has a picnic on the moon with an owl.
Happy days.
That poem/short story is bloody tremendous.
The fact that i could read it without having to stop because of a awkward phrase is a compliment in itself.
It flowed perfectly.
The fact that i could read it without having to stop because of a awkward phrase is a compliment in itself.
It flowed perfectly.
Different, very very different, but I liked it. Lightened me up a little.
One thing I disliked because I thought it didn't fit in with the overall rythm was:
'On a clear quiet night
He would lay on the grass
Gazing ahead and counting the stars'
Yeh, so conclusion: Thumbs up little ginger one
One thing I disliked because I thought it didn't fit in with the overall rythm was:
'On a clear quiet night
He would lay on the grass
Gazing ahead and counting the stars'
Yeh, so conclusion: Thumbs up little ginger one
That's a talent that many think they have, but very few can actually use as well as that.
Excellent! It reminded me of my happy school days :)
Excellent! It reminded me of my happy school days :)
Hi guys again, I am quite nervous of posting this on here but I thought you needed something a little light hearted and different to the usual short stories!
This is what I dream of doing one day writing stories for little kids in poetry form.. so please read and open the inner kid inside.. and constructive critism please?? ok! Love ginge x
Quiet Little Boy.
In a quiet little village
In a quiet little place
Lives a quite little boy
Who is fascinated by space
On a clear quiet night
He would lay on the grass
Gazing ahead and counting the stars
With a pair of binoculars
For as far as he could see
He’d calculate and navigate
The whole galaxy
From the edge, to the edge, of the edge
Of the night
He’d uncover and discover
With such delight
That when he shut his eyes
He would dream
Of riding shooting stars
Bright orange and green
He’d bounce and pounce on the
Side of the moon
And watch the fiery glow
Of planet Neptune
He could play with Martians
On a planet called Mars
And teach them football and baseball
And how to play cards
And teach them of earth
And its oceans and mountains
And all of the good things
Like sweeties and family outings
He could sail on a boat
On the Milky Way
While eating cookies
And drinking lemonade
Watching comets and meteorites
As big as the lands
He could smile and wave
At passing spaceman
Then drift back to the night
And lay on the grass
Just gazing ahead
And counting the stars
For in a quiet little village
In a quiet little place
Lives a quiet little boy
Who is fascinated by space!
This is what I dream of doing one day writing stories for little kids in poetry form.. so please read and open the inner kid inside.. and constructive critism please?? ok! Love ginge x
Quiet Little Boy.
In a quiet little village
In a quiet little place
Lives a quite little boy
Who is fascinated by space
On a clear quiet night
He would lay on the grass
Gazing ahead and counting the stars
With a pair of binoculars
For as far as he could see
He’d calculate and navigate
The whole galaxy
From the edge, to the edge, of the edge
Of the night
He’d uncover and discover
With such delight
That when he shut his eyes
He would dream
Of riding shooting stars
Bright orange and green
He’d bounce and pounce on the
Side of the moon
And watch the fiery glow
Of planet Neptune
He could play with Martians
On a planet called Mars
And teach them football and baseball
And how to play cards
And teach them of earth
And its oceans and mountains
And all of the good things
Like sweeties and family outings
He could sail on a boat
On the Milky Way
While eating cookies
And drinking lemonade
Watching comets and meteorites
As big as the lands
He could smile and wave
At passing spaceman
Then drift back to the night
And lay on the grass
Just gazing ahead
And counting the stars
For in a quiet little village
In a quiet little place
Lives a quiet little boy
Who is fascinated by space!
Page: