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"i just had a near death experience"

.... there was the bright flash, then darkness.
god himself greeted me at the pearly gates and has returned me to this world with a message:

he says he's had a good long think and he's changed his point of view on a lot of things. basically, being gay is ok, gambling is fun and beer is clever. he'll be sending J to the C (he's been modernised too) down in a couple of weeks to fill us all in.

Bummer eh Forest Fan? looks like you've been spouting out-of-date "wisdom".. DOH!

he also said that the bible was written during one of those "write 1 line and pass the paper to the next person" games, that's why it tails off towards the end, everyone wanted to play twister instead.


oh, and incase you were wondering, the bright light and then darkness was completely true.
turns out the bulb went.

But don't worry there is plenty of space in Hell.

Forest Fan wrote:
> There's a film about that, called 'Dawn of the Dead'.

(slow clap)

Satans Daughter wrote:
> We don't take just anyone you know. We would be crowded out in no
> time and end up spilling onto the earth. Oh wait......

There's a film about that, called 'Dawn of the Dead'.

Forest Fan wrote:
> I still can't figure out why we all don't just go to Hell, mind you
> God is gracious. I still cannot really grasp just HOW gracious He is
> mind.

Signs of thought? An indication that maybe you're using your brain to actually THINK about what you've been taught, rather than blindly accepting it? Good...well done Forest Fan. It's nice to see that there is maybe more to you than brainless bleating of ill-understood slogans. I'm completely serious; reading this post of yours has made me far happier than pulling your faith to pieces and exposing it as emotionally and mentally abusive did.

We don't take just anyone you know. We would be crowded out in no time and end up spilling onto the earth. Oh wait......

I still can't figure out why we all don't just go to Hell, mind you God is gracious. I still cannot really grasp just HOW gracious He is mind.

Forest Fan wrote:
> We all deserve Hell but in God's grace some are saved.


"He's a good man officer; he didn't mean to beat me. I made him mad and he lost his temper. It's my fault, not his".

We all deserve Hell but in God's grace some are saved.

Forest Fan wrote:

> God should beat us all in Hell

He's coming to visit!? Why am I always the last to know? I'll have to set the minions to dusting the place.

Forest Fan wrote:
> We all deserve Hell, but God has allowed us an escape, in fact God is
> God and Satan is Satan, which is why God will cast Satan into the
> Lake of Fire.

(quick look back in)

That is NOT what you have said with "god should beat us all in hell" though is it?

(scoots back away)