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I've been staying with guests for about three weeks now, which is great fun and fantastic of them to give me shelter and sometimes food lovely.
But I've been polite. I've decided to, er.. refrainfrommasturbating while in their homes.
It's driving me insane. I feel like someone's slung a sledge hammer between my groin.
The first week or so was fine, my back's being a real pain at the moment, and I managed to trap nerves and stop my lower body from feeling anything at all. Er, that wasn't on purpose.
But every now and again the pain seeps away and I'm left with not-numbness, which results in a strange and animalistic attraction to the closest female. Oh dear.
On Saturday I'm going to a Thunder gig in Astoria, London... and hopefully, by Monday, I'll be back home.
This is insane. If it wasn't for my admitted f**ked up spine, I don't know how well I'd be doing here.
If there was a point to me telling you this I'd tell you, but I guess if I snap and start murdering every last one of you, please forgive me, I'm just frustratingly horny.
Oh dear, now I can't stand up.
But I've been polite. I've decided to, er.. refrainfrommasturbating while in their homes.
It's driving me insane. I feel like someone's slung a sledge hammer between my groin.
The first week or so was fine, my back's being a real pain at the moment, and I managed to trap nerves and stop my lower body from feeling anything at all. Er, that wasn't on purpose.
But every now and again the pain seeps away and I'm left with not-numbness, which results in a strange and animalistic attraction to the closest female. Oh dear.
On Saturday I'm going to a Thunder gig in Astoria, London... and hopefully, by Monday, I'll be back home.
This is insane. If it wasn't for my admitted f**ked up spine, I don't know how well I'd be doing here.
If there was a point to me telling you this I'd tell you, but I guess if I snap and start murdering every last one of you, please forgive me, I'm just frustratingly horny.
Oh dear, now I can't stand up.
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Y'see, I'm currently in the supposedly happy position of having lots of women fluttering round me. Which should be really good for the ego. However, I find myself moaning and bitching anyway, because;
- I'm singularly appalling at noticing when someone is showing any interest in me. So I've suddenly had to recategorise 3 ladies from 'friend' to 'potential shag' and behave accordingly. Which is a pain.
- It means that I'm the subject of Hateful Female Mindgames from (currently) 3 different women.
- I have a girlfriend living in the USA at the moment, and my conscience keeps popping up at the most inappropriate times.
Whether you're home alone, or beating 'em off with a faecal stick, there is ALWAYS stress and hassle when getting involved with the opposite sex.
- I'm singularly appalling at noticing when someone is showing any interest in me. So I've suddenly had to recategorise 3 ladies from 'friend' to 'potential shag' and behave accordingly. Which is a pain.
- It means that I'm the subject of Hateful Female Mindgames from (currently) 3 different women.
- I have a girlfriend living in the USA at the moment, and my conscience keeps popping up at the most inappropriate times.
Whether you're home alone, or beating 'em off with a faecal stick, there is ALWAYS stress and hassle when getting involved with the opposite sex.
Maybe you should try being gay or something?
Do you ever wonder if David Blaine got the urge to knock one out during his 44-day stint in a glass box?
Or perhaps he'd be hormonally drained from starvation.
"David Blaine will now attempt to spend 44-days in a glass box, living only on water and testosterone tablets."
Or perhaps he'd be hormonally drained from starvation.
"David Blaine will now attempt to spend 44-days in a glass box, living only on water and testosterone tablets."
Well, if I can't get laid, then I have to rock.
Rawk rawk rawk rawk
Rawk rawk rawk rawk
RoJ wrote:
> That made me laugh. The dialogue, I mean.
It *has* happened - not quite the exact wording but the outcome is the same.
> That made me laugh. The dialogue, I mean.
It *has* happened - not quite the exact wording but the outcome is the same.
Timmargh wrote:
> "Fancy a pint?"
> *silence*
> "Excuse me! Fancy a pint?"
> *silence*
> *Timmargh taps girl on the thigh, girl looks down*
> "Oh, sorry!"
> "That's okay. Fancy a pint?"
> "Awwwww! Aren't you sweet!"
> *girl ruffles Timmargh's hair*
> "No chance of a shag, then?"
>
> That's my life - believe it.
That made me laugh. The dialogue, I mean.
> "Fancy a pint?"
> *silence*
> "Excuse me! Fancy a pint?"
> *silence*
> *Timmargh taps girl on the thigh, girl looks down*
> "Oh, sorry!"
> "That's okay. Fancy a pint?"
> "Awwwww! Aren't you sweet!"
> *girl ruffles Timmargh's hair*
> "No chance of a shag, then?"
>
> That's my life - believe it.
That made me laugh. The dialogue, I mean.
Hey, at least mine -wanted- me to ride them, sucker.
Blank v3.0
"Hi, I'm Bla- SOD IT! I'VE DONE IT AGAIN!" *Runs away*
"What the hell just happened?"
"Hi, I'm Bla- SOD IT! I'VE DONE IT AGAIN!" *Runs away*
"What the hell just happened?"
*in the distance a coyote howls and a bell chimes*
That was perhaps a little bit too much information.
We call it "thread stopper" round here
That was perhaps a little bit too much information.
We call it "thread stopper" round here
On the topic of tugging one out... two weeks in Thailand. Didn't pull until the end of the first week. Shot after two nights and many hours of action. You can imagine the end result - messy.
Wal was ill and knocking one out just about every other night, so was Seb who had a bird back home and didn't want to cheat on her.
Wal was ill and knocking one out just about every other night, so was Seb who had a bird back home and didn't want to cheat on her.
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