Viewing Thread:
"Hi! Got any jokes!"

I am a lookin for the best joke around! Do u have a joke that crack's u and u'r mates up??? I want 2 hear about it short or long! Corny or rude I want 2 hear it! I will start u off with a joke or two!

Man walks into a pub and says " I'll have a a pint of u'r special flyin lager plz barman"
The barman says "ok" The man drinks the lager and jumps out the window flys round the pub and cms back in the window! I man watchin this asks for a pint of the same lager! He drinks it and jumps out the window! SMASH! He falls 2 the ground! The barman says " Superman u'r a ba***rd when u'r drunk!

I have another 1!

A man walks into a bar in Texas and and says 2 the barman in shock " Is that Georg Bush and Collen Paul???? The barman says "Yea that's them! So the guy goes over 2 tem and ask waht they r talkin about George replys " we are talkin about the soon 2 b war on iraq! The man says "OH!!! Whats going 2 happen in the war?" George replys " we r going 2 kill 20,000 iraqes and a blonde women with big boobs!!!"
The man was shocked "Why r u goin 2 kill a blonde with big boobs??"
George says "C I told u no 1 cared about 20,000 iraqes!

Tell me what u think of my jokes aswell!!

Thanks

I am a joke.

However the speed that the person would need to be propelled to escape rotor death would kill them anyway, as would the explosive charges needed to propel them that fast.

The only other way is to slow the rotor blades down, but then the helicopter never gets off the ground.

Also it is no good ejecting the rotor blades because that sends the helicopter into an uncontrollable spin and usually turns it upside down, thus the ejecting pilot would be propelling himself into the ground - the rotor blade works with the tail rotor to maintain level controlled flight.

Plus most helicopters operate at such a low altitude that parachutes would barely work, if at all.

WW2.

Fighter Planes.

Machine guns were placed BEHIND Rotor blades and timed to fire in between the blades as they spun.

Same technology can be improved and used to launch people 'through' the blades, or even eject the poor sod at a different angle.

I win.

Lawrence wrote:
> HálloHowArtThou wrote:
>
> 2.helicopter ejecter seat
>
> Either I'm a blonde without knowing or this seems like a perfectly
> viable idea...
>
>
> Cos the Blades r right above the seats..u cant get ejceted or else
> u'll go flying into the propeller blades and get chopped up!

actually they are a viable idea - the rotors get blasted off before the seat ejects. :D

Lawrence, you are Lawri no?

> HálloHowArtThou wrote:

> 2.helicopter ejecter seat
>
> Either I'm a blonde without knowing or this seems like a perfectly
> viable idea...


Cos the Blades r right above the seats..u cant get ejceted or else u'll go flying into the propeller blades and get chopped up!

...

I've got a joke for you, what happens when you get too close to my foot? Your balls disappear.

HálloHowArtThou wrote:
> Bubs wrote:
> great jokes. i'v got 1 aswell. i's a list of dumb blonde inventions
>
> 1.solar torches
>
> Errrr, charge them up in the sun.. use them in the dark?
>
> 2.helicopter ejecter seat
>
> Either I'm a blonde without knowing or this seems like a perfectly
> viable idea...
>
> 4.re useable ice cubes
>
> They exist. Small plastic bags the size of ice cubes. Filled with
> water. Re-use as many times as you want.
>
>
>
> You've made a joke of yourself, realy.

Really*

:-p

Two blondes are driving down International Drive in Florida and they come to a fork in the road with a signpost saying "Disneyland left" - so they turn around and drive home.