Viewing Thread:
"Hi! Got any jokes!"

I am a lookin for the best joke around! Do u have a joke that crack's u and u'r mates up??? I want 2 hear about it short or long! Corny or rude I want 2 hear it! I will start u off with a joke or two!

Man walks into a pub and says " I'll have a a pint of u'r special flyin lager plz barman"
The barman says "ok" The man drinks the lager and jumps out the window flys round the pub and cms back in the window! I man watchin this asks for a pint of the same lager! He drinks it and jumps out the window! SMASH! He falls 2 the ground! The barman says " Superman u'r a ba***rd when u'r drunk!

I have another 1!

A man walks into a bar in Texas and and says 2 the barman in shock " Is that Georg Bush and Collen Paul???? The barman says "Yea that's them! So the guy goes over 2 tem and ask waht they r talkin about George replys " we are talkin about the soon 2 b war on iraq! The man says "OH!!! Whats going 2 happen in the war?" George replys " we r going 2 kill 20,000 iraqes and a blonde women with big boobs!!!"
The man was shocked "Why r u goin 2 kill a blonde with big boobs??"
George says "C I told u no 1 cared about 20,000 iraqes!

Tell me what u think of my jokes aswell!!

Thanks

Lol now that's both disturbing AND humorous. Great mix Borat.

U'r Mama's so fat every time she turns around it's christmas!

I really do wonder about the pathetic state of some people's sense of humour.
Wonder or worry, I'm not sure which.

soggy lettuce wrote:
> here's a good way 2 insult some ones momma
>
> Ure momma is so fat that when she volentered 2 clean da cages at the
> zoo a little boy said "daddy look at the
> hippopotomus"!!!!!!!!!!!!
>
> it good insnt it

Yeh suppose so, I would have just said "Oh last time I saw a face like that I fed it a banana" lol:P

This is the best joke in the world.

A horse walks into a bar. The barman says "Why the long face"

Cubist wrote:
> I have two jokes that always make me laugh and they both involve David
> Beckham. Ok here's joke number 1 -
>
> Posh and David Beckham walk into a bar and David asks there barman
> "Do you serve women here?" and the barman says
>
> "No you have to bring your own" !
>
> lol!!!!!
>
> Joke number 2 -
>
> David Beckham, The Pope, Nelson Mandela and a 12 year old girl are
> all on a plane. Unfortunately it becomes inevitable that the plane is
> going to crash and there are only 3 parachutes. Well Nelson Mandela
> says he is an icon all around the world for black civil rights and so
> on so he gets a parachute and jumps out, David Beckham says he is
> admired and idolised around the world for his amazing footballing
> abilities so he gets one and jumps out of the plane and finally the
> pope says "I've had a long life and I am ready to be with god so
> you can have the last parachute" but the little girl says
> "No don't worry David Beckham took my school bag"
>
> LOL!!!!!
>
> Great jokes no? :D

That is magic! I hate David Beckham! He is a poofter!

soggy lettuce wrote:
> it good insnt it

no no no

here's a good way 2 insult some ones momma

Ure momma is so fat that when she volentered 2 clean da cages at the zoo a little boy said "daddy look at the hippopotomus"!!!!!!!!!!!!

it good insnt it

No no, they eject SIDEWAYS.

HálloHowArtThou wrote:
> WW2.
>
> Fighter Planes.
>
> Machine guns were placed BEHIND Rotor blades and timed to fire in
> between the blades as they spun.
>
> Same technology can be improved and used to launch people 'through'
> the blades, or even eject the poor sod at a different angle.
>
> I win.

No you don't win, people are too big, no amount of modifications or calculations could stop the poor sod from bein torn to ribbons.