Viewing Thread:
"Simpsons Quotes"

I know this has been done before, but I sometimes crack up at work when I remember some of the quotes from this great tv show, and wanted to see if there's any I missed.

lets get the ball rolling :

Marge : "Homer, are illegally producing alcohol in our basement and selling it to local watering holes??"
Homer : "I'm not gonna lie to you marge ........ well, see you later"

Same episode:

Marge "Homer someone is here to save you"

Homer "Batman"

Marge "No he's a scientist"

Homer "Batman's a scientist"

Marge "Its not Batman"

Krusty: KRUST WANTS OUT! *goes to jump out of monorail, Leonard Leemoy catches him*

Leonard: No. The world needs laughter...

After Homer is banned from Moe's:


Guy "Greetings, may I trouble you for a drink"

Moe "Oh get out of here Homer"

Guy "Homer, who is Homer? My name is Guy Incognito"

Gets beaten up and thrown outside

Homer "Oh my god this man is my exact double", "He he that dog has a fluffy tail"

Homer : "well, I quit my job, just like you told me to"
marge : "i didn't tell you to do that!"
homer : "yes you did, you said I had to quit my job and become an inventor like thomas eddison, or you'd torch the house"
marge : "that doesn't sound like something I would say"

Homer: "You know me Marge. I like my beer cold, my T.V. loud, and my homosxuals fa-laming!!!"

lionel hutz : "If you lived here, you'd be home now"

Homer : "What's that machine that guy is hooked up to?"
nurse : "Thats a ventilator, it breathes for him"
Homer : "And here I am using my lungs like a sucker"

Bart: Isn't that stealing?
Fat Tony: If you had to buy bread for your starving family, and you had no money, would that be stealing? Would it be wrong?
Bart: I guess not.
Fat Tony: So, what if your family is very large, and they prefer cigarettes?

Fat Tony - Johnny Tight Lips, do you see the shooter?

JTL - Err I see alot of things

Fat Tony - You know you could be a little more helpful

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Comic Book Guy - Are you Ridley Scott or James Cameron?

Homer - No i'm Homer

CBG - Well HOMER, i'd kindly thank you to not look at my play script and if i see a film where aliens threaten our liberties in the future i'll know you stole my idea

Homer - I'm just here to pick up my kid...........*mental note steal his idea*

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CBG - Well Santos L Halper, if that is your real name, Bart Simpson, but your phoney credit card is not welcome here. Now toodle.....ooh

Mrs Skinner to Comicbook guy: Why you Ill-manner Sack of Crap!