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Look. Don't blame me, I'm bored. If people were in here chatting away, I wouldn't have to sink to this level.
Smoke purred from Ant's mouth, drifting into the air, and pulling the life from within him out...
"You shouldn't smoke you know. It's bad for the insides."
Ant looked down at his curry. He wouldn't be suprised if the curry did more damage.
"I can't eat any more." He said. "I'm not feeling too well today."
The man took away Ant's curry, and emptied it into a bucket.
"That'll be 90 credits..." As the man looked up, Ant was no longer at his seat.
"Put it on the slate!" Ant shouted...
Ant had recieved another message. It was from command. Apparently some of the driods had broke lose, killing a few task forces on the way.
Ant got into his hovercar, just a bog standard craft, but the seats were uncomfortable. He knew this would be his last run before he could buy another.
He pulled the craft up, and out of the giant hanger, and into the open air. It was night. You could tell it was night because there were more hovercars around, it usually gets busy at night... Ant looked up at the deep smog that had settled over the city of Pembroke many years ago... not long after Pembroke was declared the new capital of the former British Isles all those years ago... before the war.
Ant remembers it as if it were about 10 years ago, so he expected the details to be a bit foggy.
Professor Miyamoto about 11 years ago invented the next generation of machinary to compete with the Overlords Playchip 3, which was in popular demand with kids...
Under the company name Nintendo, Prof. Miyamoto released the Nintendo chip into the mass market. Hundreds of people brought them, and had them implanted. Some many happy faces... so much peace in the world...
Then something, as always it seemed, went wrong. The chips started to manufuction, taking the persons will of control with it. They produced hundreds of automated psyhcotic killing machines, and Nintendo had no control over them...
The Overlord had ordered that all Nintendo products to be taking off the market, and ordered that Nintendo was shut down.
Ant pulled out of his daydream, and realised that he was heading straight for a building... He pulled up with ease. But someone behind him, who didn't anticipate his move quickly dodged to the left to avoid Ant, and hit the building that Ant was trying to avoid. The sprialling trail of the hovercars smoke reminded Ant to light his cigarette, which was just clasped unlit between his lips. Ant thought he was going insane...
Ant managed to navigate through the rest of the car maze, and ended up at the Overlords headquarters. Sony HQ.
He landed. Finding a space was easy, just land on top of any car already there. Sometimes you would find stacks of cars miles high, with the Jenga like approuch for the man with the bottom car, attempting to remove his car... There had been several "Jenga" accidents in the last few days.
Ant had left his car, climbed down the stack of cars, and entered the building. He proceeded past reception, and walked down the dark stairs. He took the second door on the left, walked around the fountain in the middle of the room to the third door, past the small wildlife display, through the small hall, under the glass bridge, and through the red double doors.
"Who are you?" Said the man inside.
"My names Ant. I'm a Blade Runner."
"Oh... you looking for the Command office. You should have taken the fourth door near the waterfall, this is the lower hall."
"Oh. Ta."
Smoke purred from Ant's mouth, drifting into the air, and pulling the life from within him out...
"You shouldn't smoke you know. It's bad for the insides."
Ant looked down at his curry. He wouldn't be suprised if the curry did more damage.
"I can't eat any more." He said. "I'm not feeling too well today."
The man took away Ant's curry, and emptied it into a bucket.
"That'll be 90 credits..." As the man looked up, Ant was no longer at his seat.
"Put it on the slate!" Ant shouted...
Ant had recieved another message. It was from command. Apparently some of the driods had broke lose, killing a few task forces on the way.
Ant got into his hovercar, just a bog standard craft, but the seats were uncomfortable. He knew this would be his last run before he could buy another.
He pulled the craft up, and out of the giant hanger, and into the open air. It was night. You could tell it was night because there were more hovercars around, it usually gets busy at night... Ant looked up at the deep smog that had settled over the city of Pembroke many years ago... not long after Pembroke was declared the new capital of the former British Isles all those years ago... before the war.
Ant remembers it as if it were about 10 years ago, so he expected the details to be a bit foggy.
Professor Miyamoto about 11 years ago invented the next generation of machinary to compete with the Overlords Playchip 3, which was in popular demand with kids...
Under the company name Nintendo, Prof. Miyamoto released the Nintendo chip into the mass market. Hundreds of people brought them, and had them implanted. Some many happy faces... so much peace in the world...
Then something, as always it seemed, went wrong. The chips started to manufuction, taking the persons will of control with it. They produced hundreds of automated psyhcotic killing machines, and Nintendo had no control over them...
The Overlord had ordered that all Nintendo products to be taking off the market, and ordered that Nintendo was shut down.
Ant pulled out of his daydream, and realised that he was heading straight for a building... He pulled up with ease. But someone behind him, who didn't anticipate his move quickly dodged to the left to avoid Ant, and hit the building that Ant was trying to avoid. The sprialling trail of the hovercars smoke reminded Ant to light his cigarette, which was just clasped unlit between his lips. Ant thought he was going insane...
Ant managed to navigate through the rest of the car maze, and ended up at the Overlords headquarters. Sony HQ.
He landed. Finding a space was easy, just land on top of any car already there. Sometimes you would find stacks of cars miles high, with the Jenga like approuch for the man with the bottom car, attempting to remove his car... There had been several "Jenga" accidents in the last few days.
Ant had left his car, climbed down the stack of cars, and entered the building. He proceeded past reception, and walked down the dark stairs. He took the second door on the left, walked around the fountain in the middle of the room to the third door, past the small wildlife display, through the small hall, under the glass bridge, and through the red double doors.
"Who are you?" Said the man inside.
"My names Ant. I'm a Blade Runner."
"Oh... you looking for the Command office. You should have taken the fourth door near the waterfall, this is the lower hall."
"Oh. Ta."
Page:
The Game steps in, looks round with a puzzled frown...he gives a shrug of the shoulders...lifts his hand to clear the shirt sleeve from his wrist and walks on.
er-no lay on the floor motionless. Some would say inactive, but his mind was far from that state. It was working overtime.
er-no had slipped into a strange dreamlike state. He was in a room with no exits. The walls were bright biege, with a terracotta ceiling. er-no wondered what he should do, bang on the walls? Scream and shout? Before he could do anything he hear a voice "er-no, listen to me" It said.
"Who are you" asked er-no, clearly disturbed.
"That is not important right now. I can help you, but you must listen very carefully. What you must do is..."
er-no could feel himself coming round. He had been pulled away from his dream, just as he was about to get some answers.
Ant too had woken, and was the reason er-no had been disturbed.
"Thought you could escape did you?" Asked Ant, before smashing a bottle on er-no's head.
er-no smiled as he realised that he was going to be out of it for quite some time, maybe he would be able to return to that bright biege room with the terracotta ceiling!
Then he hit the ground with a *click*
er-no had slipped into a strange dreamlike state. He was in a room with no exits. The walls were bright biege, with a terracotta ceiling. er-no wondered what he should do, bang on the walls? Scream and shout? Before he could do anything he hear a voice "er-no, listen to me" It said.
"Who are you" asked er-no, clearly disturbed.
"That is not important right now. I can help you, but you must listen very carefully. What you must do is..."
er-no could feel himself coming round. He had been pulled away from his dream, just as he was about to get some answers.
Ant too had woken, and was the reason er-no had been disturbed.
"Thought you could escape did you?" Asked Ant, before smashing a bottle on er-no's head.
er-no smiled as he realised that he was going to be out of it for quite some time, maybe he would be able to return to that bright biege room with the terracotta ceiling!
Then he hit the ground with a *click*
pb still felt queesy, but brightened up when he punched in some instructions to the Tardis computers.
"Well, well. It looks like Sniper has led us right to Grix's hideout." the screen showed the last known co-ordinates of the ship. "Good ol' Sniper has saved us a long search."
"Now we can really knock some heads together." said FM, a smirk crossing his face. "When I get my hands on that meddling Grix..."
He was stopped in mid-conversation by Ant's stare.
"We want them alive FM, no killing until I get some information on the ring-leader of this operation. I've been watching Dan's subconcious on the monitor and I've worked out part of the plot to frame Nintendo and take over the land."
The other two waited for an explanation, while er-no covered his eyes.
"Libel Stag is a company owned by the Microsoft Company. They were big in the early part of the millenium, but were also notorious for playing dirty. Libel Stag is also an anagram of the ring-leader, whose concious was captured on computer and lives on as an artificial being."
Pb and FM gasped. "You don't mean....." they said in unison.
"Oh, yes." said Ant gravely, "I'm afraid we're fighting the big guys now."
"Well, well. It looks like Sniper has led us right to Grix's hideout." the screen showed the last known co-ordinates of the ship. "Good ol' Sniper has saved us a long search."
"Now we can really knock some heads together." said FM, a smirk crossing his face. "When I get my hands on that meddling Grix..."
He was stopped in mid-conversation by Ant's stare.
"We want them alive FM, no killing until I get some information on the ring-leader of this operation. I've been watching Dan's subconcious on the monitor and I've worked out part of the plot to frame Nintendo and take over the land."
The other two waited for an explanation, while er-no covered his eyes.
"Libel Stag is a company owned by the Microsoft Company. They were big in the early part of the millenium, but were also notorious for playing dirty. Libel Stag is also an anagram of the ring-leader, whose concious was captured on computer and lives on as an artificial being."
Pb and FM gasped. "You don't mean....." they said in unison.
"Oh, yes." said Ant gravely, "I'm afraid we're fighting the big guys now."
Err...
Umm...it appears I forgot to mention that er-no is doing the thinking. Please read this into the third-person prose.
So, the three of them lay unconscious in the tardis, with er-no tied up in the corner and Dan still god knows where.
If only there were a way he could untie his bonds. After half an hour of brain-racking concentration he noticed the paper shredder in the corner. Carefully, he approached it. His approach would have looked considerably more careful had he not been moving in a clumsy slug-like manner, but that was the best he could do, given that his hands and feet were bound.
He turned on the shredder, and steeled himself for this act of bravery - no, sheer madness - that he was about to perform. He lowered his wrists to the shredder, his heart pounding ever more rapidly. A sudden grinding and tearing sound filled the air, and er-no pulled his hands out with much the same haste as if they were about to get shredded. Which they would have been. But they weren't. Er-no breathed a sigh of relief as he saw his hands were unscathed. He turned the machine off and looked around. A stanley knife lay conveniently on the sideboard.
"D'OH!" er-no instinctively cursed. Well, at least he would be able to cut the bonds on his feet more easily. He walked over to the knife. At least he planned to, however his feet were still bound and he fell headlong into the tardis wall, smacking his head against the wall with a sickening metallic thud.
"D'oh!" he thought, as he lost consciousness.
If only there were a way he could untie his bonds. After half an hour of brain-racking concentration he noticed the paper shredder in the corner. Carefully, he approached it. His approach would have looked considerably more careful had he not been moving in a clumsy slug-like manner, but that was the best he could do, given that his hands and feet were bound.
He turned on the shredder, and steeled himself for this act of bravery - no, sheer madness - that he was about to perform. He lowered his wrists to the shredder, his heart pounding ever more rapidly. A sudden grinding and tearing sound filled the air, and er-no pulled his hands out with much the same haste as if they were about to get shredded. Which they would have been. But they weren't. Er-no breathed a sigh of relief as he saw his hands were unscathed. He turned the machine off and looked around. A stanley knife lay conveniently on the sideboard.
"D'OH!" er-no instinctively cursed. Well, at least he would be able to cut the bonds on his feet more easily. He walked over to the knife. At least he planned to, however his feet were still bound and he fell headlong into the tardis wall, smacking his head against the wall with a sickening metallic thud.
"D'oh!" he thought, as he lost consciousness.
"Well?"
"Well...mwa.muong... mwa...what?" Ant asked, through mouthfuls of sugar.
"Where's Sniper?"
"Dunno," Ant said, swallowing his sugar.
"Let me try some of that," pb said, as he took a handful of sugar from Ant's Extra large bag.
pb put the sugar in his mouth.His eyes lit up, and he then fell to the floor, unconscious.
"A sugar rush??" FM asked, "He only had a handful."
"It's extra strong. Here, try some. You should be okay with it."
FM took a handful. He ate it, swayed around for a while, and then also fell unconscious.
"DAMN!" Ant said, and then realised how much he sounded like Solid Snake. Ant laughed to himself, and then choked on his sugar.
He fell unconscious.
"Well...mwa.muong... mwa...what?" Ant asked, through mouthfuls of sugar.
"Where's Sniper?"
"Dunno," Ant said, swallowing his sugar.
"Let me try some of that," pb said, as he took a handful of sugar from Ant's Extra large bag.
pb put the sugar in his mouth.His eyes lit up, and he then fell to the floor, unconscious.
"A sugar rush??" FM asked, "He only had a handful."
"It's extra strong. Here, try some. You should be okay with it."
FM took a handful. He ate it, swayed around for a while, and then also fell unconscious.
"DAMN!" Ant said, and then realised how much he sounded like Solid Snake. Ant laughed to himself, and then choked on his sugar.
He fell unconscious.
*Quickly tries to get back on plot before rampaging valkries and transexuals start hindering the plot*
"Did anyone leave their leg in the Tardis?" Fantasymeister had just opened the door.
Everybody had a good look at their legs. All pretty limbful.
"No." They said in unison.
"Humm."
Fantasymeister kicked the leg out of the door, and packed er-no in.
"Now where's Sniper gone!..."
"Did anyone leave their leg in the Tardis?" Fantasymeister had just opened the door.
Everybody had a good look at their legs. All pretty limbful.
"No." They said in unison.
"Humm."
Fantasymeister kicked the leg out of the door, and packed er-no in.
"Now where's Sniper gone!..."
"Somebody here to see you, Mr Sniper sir"
Sniper sighed and dismissed his butler with a wave of his hand. He turned back to concentrate on the game of Risk he was playing. His blue tokens were building up quite substantially in south america, but the yellow hordes in africa could pose a serious threat if they were to launch an attack now. On the other hand, if Patton's green counters launched an attack on Europe from their position in north america, he might be able to make a foothold there while Patton's forces were spread thinly.
"My turn, I think" Julius said
Snipers fears were confirmed. Julius' yellow counters launched an assault on his blues in latin america. Julius rolled the dice. Three fours. Sniper rolled to defend. Two fives. He let a sly smile creep across his face. Julius continued to attack, and sniper defended. Soon The yellow hordes were diminished to little more than a scouting party. Julius was finished, and he knew it.
"By Jupiter you're lucky today!" Julius cried. he then stormed off to the punch bowl. The party was going well, sniper thought. It was nice to be rich.
"Ahh" he said. "Just messrs Bonaparte and Patton left I believe?"
"Get on with it you god damn son of a b*tch!" Patton barked.
"Sir!" sniper's butler interrupted. "This man insists he must see you at once! He says you used to know each other."
Sniper sighed.
"Very well, show him in."
Sniper wandered over to the buffet table, hoping to find some of those rather tasty chocolate spheres. Unfortunately, he lost his footing on thew thick carpet and fell forwards onto the buffet table, impaling his hand with several cocktail sticks. Screaming in agony, he tore at the tablecloth as he fell, soacking himself in alcohol as the contents of the table fell onto him. At this point, he was very glad he'd ordered the candlesticks be taken away, else he might have caught fire. Then he remembered the electric toaster..
"Oh, bu-"
*TZZZZZTT*
Sniper sighed and dismissed his butler with a wave of his hand. He turned back to concentrate on the game of Risk he was playing. His blue tokens were building up quite substantially in south america, but the yellow hordes in africa could pose a serious threat if they were to launch an attack now. On the other hand, if Patton's green counters launched an attack on Europe from their position in north america, he might be able to make a foothold there while Patton's forces were spread thinly.
"My turn, I think" Julius said
Snipers fears were confirmed. Julius' yellow counters launched an assault on his blues in latin america. Julius rolled the dice. Three fours. Sniper rolled to defend. Two fives. He let a sly smile creep across his face. Julius continued to attack, and sniper defended. Soon The yellow hordes were diminished to little more than a scouting party. Julius was finished, and he knew it.
"By Jupiter you're lucky today!" Julius cried. he then stormed off to the punch bowl. The party was going well, sniper thought. It was nice to be rich.
"Ahh" he said. "Just messrs Bonaparte and Patton left I believe?"
"Get on with it you god damn son of a b*tch!" Patton barked.
"Sir!" sniper's butler interrupted. "This man insists he must see you at once! He says you used to know each other."
Sniper sighed.
"Very well, show him in."
Sniper wandered over to the buffet table, hoping to find some of those rather tasty chocolate spheres. Unfortunately, he lost his footing on thew thick carpet and fell forwards onto the buffet table, impaling his hand with several cocktail sticks. Screaming in agony, he tore at the tablecloth as he fell, soacking himself in alcohol as the contents of the table fell onto him. At this point, he was very glad he'd ordered the candlesticks be taken away, else he might have caught fire. Then he remembered the electric toaster..
"Oh, bu-"
*TZZZZZTT*
"Right."
Sniper pressed the button on the remote again, and found himself in the authors study... he threw himself at the author, and grappled him to the floor.
"I NEED A GOOD CHARACTER!! YOU PROMISED ME A GOOD CHARACTER!!!!"
"Gjfhjbsh Aaghhhahj!" Came the reply.
Sniper gave the author permission to breathe again, and the author promised him a good character.
------
And then the world went black and white again.
er-no sat at the piano... playing a sweet and happy tune.
Grix was behind the bar, cleaning glasses with the old towel he never seems to get rid of... Of course, he always kept it sparkling clean, but the thing was getting grotty and torn. "Buy a new one!" I had told him, but his peculiar stubborness made him keep it, as something to cling onto.
I walked up to the bar.
"The normal today, Mr. Sniper?" Grix smiled as he put the towel back on the hook.
"No Grix," I said. "I'm feeling like a change today. I feel like my life has taken a turn for the better."
"That's great Mr. Sniper!" No matter how many times I had told him, Grix always insisted calling me *Mr.* Sniper. "I can't be less of a host to you because you're my friend Mr. Sniper!" He once told me. "But EVERYBODY is your friend in this town Grix, we know everyone!"... But still, he liked to polite with people, and I just took it in like everybody else had to.
Grix had poured me a small drink, in a small glass.
"It's what all the movie stars are drinking Mr. Sniper."
I stared at the colourless liquid with quiet intrigment.
"What's it called Grix?"
"They say it's a Martini, shaken not stirred."
"Oh! I've heard of that!"
I took out my cigarette case and my match case. I removed a cigarette, broke off a match, lit it, and then the cigarette.
Grix turned around to look at me. "Now Mr. Sniper! I thought you were trying to quit!"
"I promise you Grix, my heart and soul, that this is my very last cigarette."
"You shouldn't make promises you can't keep Mr. Sniper... especially with something so valuable."
He was right. It seemed I was always reaching for the last one.
There was an awful silence at this point... only er-no on the piano kept darkness from falling on the seemingly dead atmosphere of the bar...
"Hey er-no!" Grix shouted, "Play something with a bit more joy to it, yeah?"
"Right you are Mr. Thraves!" Called back er-no, jokingly.
I was about to take my first sip from the famous drink, when the door slammed open... It was Dan2K1... Oh dear...
He staggered up towards the bar... "Give me a drink."
"No I like to serve any customer as much as the next Mr. Dan, but I think you've already had too much today already."
I felt sorry for Dan, the angels had decided to take away his pride and joy, his one true love, Sega... It had hit him bad. Everybody was devestated of course... everybody loved Sega...
"Give me a DRINK!"
I felt sorry for Grix too... it must be hard to deal with something like this. So I decided to approach him.
"Hey Dan... I think you've had enough..." Dan turned to face me, he took one look at my face, and became very angry.
"Leave me alone! I JUST WANT A DRINK!!" Dan turned back to Grix. He started shouting... then started asking very seriously... "GIVE ME A DRINK!! GIVE ME A DRINK. Give me a drink. I want a drink. Give me a drink. CAN'T YOU HEAR ME!!"
Grix had no choice... he hated to do it, but he served him a drink. Dan gulped half the pint glass down in one go.
Dan turned to me, and stared me straight in the face... his eyes suddenly widened, and he placed his hand straight over his mouth, as if he were to be sick. He fell off his stool to get to the floor, but he was still clutching his beer glass...
He threw the beer glass over my face... and the beer must have caught alight in the cinders from my cigarette or something... because the next thing I knew, I was on fire... all over my body.
I screamed and screamed out loud for someone to help me... Grix tried to quench me in soda water... but it was too late. I was burnt to a cinder... my ashes were scattered in the wind.
Jesus looked down on Sniper, as he finished his story... The pearly gates seemed to want his presense indeed, this was his fourty-third time up here explaining what had happened in the last three months!
"So?" Asked Sniper. "Can I go back down?"
"But why?" Asked Jesus. "What ARE you trying to accomplish in life?"
"You tell me." Sniper said. "You tell me..."
Sniper pressed the button on the remote again, and found himself in the authors study... he threw himself at the author, and grappled him to the floor.
"I NEED A GOOD CHARACTER!! YOU PROMISED ME A GOOD CHARACTER!!!!"
"Gjfhjbsh Aaghhhahj!" Came the reply.
Sniper gave the author permission to breathe again, and the author promised him a good character.
------
And then the world went black and white again.
er-no sat at the piano... playing a sweet and happy tune.
Grix was behind the bar, cleaning glasses with the old towel he never seems to get rid of... Of course, he always kept it sparkling clean, but the thing was getting grotty and torn. "Buy a new one!" I had told him, but his peculiar stubborness made him keep it, as something to cling onto.
I walked up to the bar.
"The normal today, Mr. Sniper?" Grix smiled as he put the towel back on the hook.
"No Grix," I said. "I'm feeling like a change today. I feel like my life has taken a turn for the better."
"That's great Mr. Sniper!" No matter how many times I had told him, Grix always insisted calling me *Mr.* Sniper. "I can't be less of a host to you because you're my friend Mr. Sniper!" He once told me. "But EVERYBODY is your friend in this town Grix, we know everyone!"... But still, he liked to polite with people, and I just took it in like everybody else had to.
Grix had poured me a small drink, in a small glass.
"It's what all the movie stars are drinking Mr. Sniper."
I stared at the colourless liquid with quiet intrigment.
"What's it called Grix?"
"They say it's a Martini, shaken not stirred."
"Oh! I've heard of that!"
I took out my cigarette case and my match case. I removed a cigarette, broke off a match, lit it, and then the cigarette.
Grix turned around to look at me. "Now Mr. Sniper! I thought you were trying to quit!"
"I promise you Grix, my heart and soul, that this is my very last cigarette."
"You shouldn't make promises you can't keep Mr. Sniper... especially with something so valuable."
He was right. It seemed I was always reaching for the last one.
There was an awful silence at this point... only er-no on the piano kept darkness from falling on the seemingly dead atmosphere of the bar...
"Hey er-no!" Grix shouted, "Play something with a bit more joy to it, yeah?"
"Right you are Mr. Thraves!" Called back er-no, jokingly.
I was about to take my first sip from the famous drink, when the door slammed open... It was Dan2K1... Oh dear...
He staggered up towards the bar... "Give me a drink."
"No I like to serve any customer as much as the next Mr. Dan, but I think you've already had too much today already."
I felt sorry for Dan, the angels had decided to take away his pride and joy, his one true love, Sega... It had hit him bad. Everybody was devestated of course... everybody loved Sega...
"Give me a DRINK!"
I felt sorry for Grix too... it must be hard to deal with something like this. So I decided to approach him.
"Hey Dan... I think you've had enough..." Dan turned to face me, he took one look at my face, and became very angry.
"Leave me alone! I JUST WANT A DRINK!!" Dan turned back to Grix. He started shouting... then started asking very seriously... "GIVE ME A DRINK!! GIVE ME A DRINK. Give me a drink. I want a drink. Give me a drink. CAN'T YOU HEAR ME!!"
Grix had no choice... he hated to do it, but he served him a drink. Dan gulped half the pint glass down in one go.
Dan turned to me, and stared me straight in the face... his eyes suddenly widened, and he placed his hand straight over his mouth, as if he were to be sick. He fell off his stool to get to the floor, but he was still clutching his beer glass...
He threw the beer glass over my face... and the beer must have caught alight in the cinders from my cigarette or something... because the next thing I knew, I was on fire... all over my body.
I screamed and screamed out loud for someone to help me... Grix tried to quench me in soda water... but it was too late. I was burnt to a cinder... my ashes were scattered in the wind.
Jesus looked down on Sniper, as he finished his story... The pearly gates seemed to want his presense indeed, this was his fourty-third time up here explaining what had happened in the last three months!
"So?" Asked Sniper. "Can I go back down?"
"But why?" Asked Jesus. "What ARE you trying to accomplish in life?"
"You tell me." Sniper said. "You tell me..."
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