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Whats wrong with me?
I can't find contentment, and worse, I what it is in my life that is wrong.
I used to believe that all we had to do was to put our faith in God. I used to believe that I had a space inside me that was God shaped, and that when I truely believed in God I would be Happy. I don't believe so any more. I've been deluding myself. There is no god, and if there is a god, there is no love for me.
I thought that being in love would make me happy. When I was younger I would stare at myself in the mirror and think to myself, If only somebody would kiss me I would be happy forever. If only someone loved me I would be vindicated in this life.
I found someone to love me. So why am I crying everyday. Why do I get bored even when my love is with me. He doesn't make me happy, I make him sad. I make him desperate because there is nothing he can do to stop me crying.
I'm bored all the time. I have no interest in anything I do. TV, Video games, DVDs, Music, Books. I buy and buy in the hope that one of these things will lift my boredom, give me a purpose, and for a time I find a new game or TV seris, or a book that distracts me. 40 hours of Final Fantasy fantasy or Buffy the Vampire Slayer later I'm left with nothing. I've invested my time into a fantasy that isn't real.
So someone please tell me, what are we here for. What is the point in this life. We live and We die. A small handful of us do something worthwhile behind. A mark on the world. But even then we still die. We are still dead, and we have nothing.
I can't find contentment, and worse, I what it is in my life that is wrong.
I used to believe that all we had to do was to put our faith in God. I used to believe that I had a space inside me that was God shaped, and that when I truely believed in God I would be Happy. I don't believe so any more. I've been deluding myself. There is no god, and if there is a god, there is no love for me.
I thought that being in love would make me happy. When I was younger I would stare at myself in the mirror and think to myself, If only somebody would kiss me I would be happy forever. If only someone loved me I would be vindicated in this life.
I found someone to love me. So why am I crying everyday. Why do I get bored even when my love is with me. He doesn't make me happy, I make him sad. I make him desperate because there is nothing he can do to stop me crying.
I'm bored all the time. I have no interest in anything I do. TV, Video games, DVDs, Music, Books. I buy and buy in the hope that one of these things will lift my boredom, give me a purpose, and for a time I find a new game or TV seris, or a book that distracts me. 40 hours of Final Fantasy fantasy or Buffy the Vampire Slayer later I'm left with nothing. I've invested my time into a fantasy that isn't real.
So someone please tell me, what are we here for. What is the point in this life. We live and We die. A small handful of us do something worthwhile behind. A mark on the world. But even then we still die. We are still dead, and we have nothing.
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I've got a GBA. It bores me. I never play it.
I don't think I would like scuba diving. It sounds like a lot of effort.
I'm just boring really. I prefer to stay home.
I don't think I would like scuba diving. It sounds like a lot of effort.
I'm just boring really. I prefer to stay home.
Yeah, but you can scuba dive.
Oh, and buy a Gamboy advance, then it doesn't matter where you go, it's all the same format, if not the same language.
Oh, and buy a Gamboy advance, then it doesn't matter where you go, it's all the same format, if not the same language.
Insane Bartender wrote:
> I generally walk with a permanently etched scowl on my face. People
> don't just move out of the way, they cross the street.
That made me laugh. Think I'll give it a go.
> I generally walk with a permanently etched scowl on my face. People
> don't just move out of the way, they cross the street.
That made me laugh. Think I'll give it a go.
I don't think that i would like abroad. You can't really shop because Video games and DVDs and stuff I like to buy is differnt.
Ineedsleep wrote:
> You are not a 'bit of a target'. I'm only 5'2" and 3/4" but
> I rarely give way. I just walk confidently towards them. People
> either move out of the way or I will side step at the last minute.
> Either way I will not hunch myself up and scurry pass.
I generally walk with a permanently etched scowl on my face. People don't just move out of the way, they cross the street.
> You are not a 'bit of a target'. I'm only 5'2" and 3/4" but
> I rarely give way. I just walk confidently towards them. People
> either move out of the way or I will side step at the last minute.
> Either way I will not hunch myself up and scurry pass.
I generally walk with a permanently etched scowl on my face. People don't just move out of the way, they cross the street.
I've been to Turkey. Cool place.
Rosalind wrote:
> I'm too scared of getting beaten up to stand up for myself. I'm only
> 5'2'', so I'm a bit of a target.
You are not a 'bit of a target'. I'm only 5'2" and 3/4" but I rarely give way. I just walk confidently towards them. People either move out of the way or I will side step at the last minute. Either way I will not hunch myself up and scurry pass.
> I'm too scared of getting beaten up to stand up for myself. I'm only
> 5'2'', so I'm a bit of a target.
You are not a 'bit of a target'. I'm only 5'2" and 3/4" but I rarely give way. I just walk confidently towards them. People either move out of the way or I will side step at the last minute. Either way I will not hunch myself up and scurry pass.
Rosalind wrote:
> Scotland. I went there when I was 16 with my mum and dad. Very Dull,
> there is nothing to do but look at scenery.
Fair point! Although it doesn't seem to have as much pollution as down south. Why not try something more lively then such as New York...do a big of shopping!
> Scotland. I went there when I was 16 with my mum and dad. Very Dull,
> there is nothing to do but look at scenery.
Fair point! Although it doesn't seem to have as much pollution as down south. Why not try something more lively then such as New York...do a big of shopping!
Turkey. Go to Turkey.
Scotland. I went there when I was 16 with my mum and dad. Very Dull, there is nothing to do but look at scenery.
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