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Whats wrong with me?
I can't find contentment, and worse, I what it is in my life that is wrong.
I used to believe that all we had to do was to put our faith in God. I used to believe that I had a space inside me that was God shaped, and that when I truely believed in God I would be Happy. I don't believe so any more. I've been deluding myself. There is no god, and if there is a god, there is no love for me.
I thought that being in love would make me happy. When I was younger I would stare at myself in the mirror and think to myself, If only somebody would kiss me I would be happy forever. If only someone loved me I would be vindicated in this life.
I found someone to love me. So why am I crying everyday. Why do I get bored even when my love is with me. He doesn't make me happy, I make him sad. I make him desperate because there is nothing he can do to stop me crying.
I'm bored all the time. I have no interest in anything I do. TV, Video games, DVDs, Music, Books. I buy and buy in the hope that one of these things will lift my boredom, give me a purpose, and for a time I find a new game or TV seris, or a book that distracts me. 40 hours of Final Fantasy fantasy or Buffy the Vampire Slayer later I'm left with nothing. I've invested my time into a fantasy that isn't real.
So someone please tell me, what are we here for. What is the point in this life. We live and We die. A small handful of us do something worthwhile behind. A mark on the world. But even then we still die. We are still dead, and we have nothing.
I can't find contentment, and worse, I what it is in my life that is wrong.
I used to believe that all we had to do was to put our faith in God. I used to believe that I had a space inside me that was God shaped, and that when I truely believed in God I would be Happy. I don't believe so any more. I've been deluding myself. There is no god, and if there is a god, there is no love for me.
I thought that being in love would make me happy. When I was younger I would stare at myself in the mirror and think to myself, If only somebody would kiss me I would be happy forever. If only someone loved me I would be vindicated in this life.
I found someone to love me. So why am I crying everyday. Why do I get bored even when my love is with me. He doesn't make me happy, I make him sad. I make him desperate because there is nothing he can do to stop me crying.
I'm bored all the time. I have no interest in anything I do. TV, Video games, DVDs, Music, Books. I buy and buy in the hope that one of these things will lift my boredom, give me a purpose, and for a time I find a new game or TV seris, or a book that distracts me. 40 hours of Final Fantasy fantasy or Buffy the Vampire Slayer later I'm left with nothing. I've invested my time into a fantasy that isn't real.
So someone please tell me, what are we here for. What is the point in this life. We live and We die. A small handful of us do something worthwhile behind. A mark on the world. But even then we still die. We are still dead, and we have nothing.
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Ineedsleep wrote:
> Rosalind wrote:
> When is the wedding? If the video games etc. are not helping to lift
> your spirits stop buying them for a while.
Sept 2004. I have a while to save, but weddings are very expensive. I've just been in touch with the Ogre and told him to buy me the Sims for PS2.
> Rosalind wrote:
> When is the wedding? If the video games etc. are not helping to lift
> your spirits stop buying them for a while.
Sept 2004. I have a while to save, but weddings are very expensive. I've just been in touch with the Ogre and told him to buy me the Sims for PS2.
Rosalind wrote:
> So I guess a holiday would be nice. But even so I can't afford it
> what with paying for a wedding, and all the video games I buy.
When is the wedding? If the video games etc. are not helping to lift your spirits stop buying them for a while.
>
> And I don't have Sky or digital TV so I can't watch the holiday
> channels.
>
> Screwed.
No - blessed!
> So I guess a holiday would be nice. But even so I can't afford it
> what with paying for a wedding, and all the video games I buy.
When is the wedding? If the video games etc. are not helping to lift your spirits stop buying them for a while.
>
> And I don't have Sky or digital TV so I can't watch the holiday
> channels.
>
> Screwed.
No - blessed!
Indeed, she works for british gas, like someone else I know.
considering my debt level I think thats a bad idea. I'm still paying for my computer.
Whats with the apparently?
I hear Hev got a job. Thats fantastic.
Whats with the apparently?
I hear Hev got a job. Thats fantastic.
Take out a loan for a holiday. It's all the rage apparently.
So I guess a holiday would be nice. But even so I can't afford it what with paying for a wedding, and all the video games I buy.
And I don't have Sky or digital TV so I can't watch the holiday channels.
Screwed.
And I don't have Sky or digital TV so I can't watch the holiday channels.
Screwed.
Indeed. Can't type for love nor money today.
Insane Bartender wrote:
> enclined?
I actually tried looking this word up. Sorry to hear you may have leprosy I was very impressed about you having your own muse hovering over the screen
> enclined?
I actually tried looking this word up. Sorry to hear you may have leprosy I was very impressed about you having your own muse hovering over the screen
Rosalind wrote:
> I'm just boring really. I prefer to stay home.
Why not watch the holiday channel on Digital TV...imagine your there....no?...How about a game of scrabble then, connect 4?
> I'm just boring really. I prefer to stay home.
Why not watch the holiday channel on Digital TV...imagine your there....no?...How about a game of scrabble then, connect 4?
Scuba diving is no effort at all. You don't even have to swim properly.
One tiny movement of your flippers, and you'll propel yourself about 10 feet in the water.
And feeding fish big enough to swallow your hand in one go is a great thrill. I'm hoping to save up a few quid and go swimming with sharks in australia. Scuba is the most fun I've ever had in an expanse of water, and as long as I don't come across anything big enough and enclined to eat me, then it's just incredible.
One tiny movement of your flippers, and you'll propel yourself about 10 feet in the water.
And feeding fish big enough to swallow your hand in one go is a great thrill. I'm hoping to save up a few quid and go swimming with sharks in australia. Scuba is the most fun I've ever had in an expanse of water, and as long as I don't come across anything big enough and enclined to eat me, then it's just incredible.
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