Viewing Thread:
"The Office Series 1 quotes."

Watched through the whole of the first series over the weekend. Hadn't seen many of the episodes first time around, so some of the quotes were hilarious. Here are a couple of my favourites:

"So, Gareth, what's your fantasy?"

"Two lesbians. Sisters probably. I'm just watching..."

- - - - - -

"What are you thinking right now, then?"

"I was wondering, if a boy would ever be born who could swim faster than a shark."

- - - - - - - -

"Why should women with big breasts be expolited?"

"They should be rewarded, if anything."

- - - - - - -

"I just stayed in and had a biiiiiig w**k."

www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/theoffice/newsletter/ (space) newsletter.shtml

worth a look: quite funny.

Goatboy wrote:
> "He's a wierd little bloke! Look at his cartoon face and his
> hair, he looks like a Fisher Price man,

Do you think by Fisher Price man he means Playmobile Man...because yeah he has hair like them.

"He's a wierd little bloke! Look at his cartoon face and his hair, he looks like a Fisher Price man, and his rubbish clothes... it makes me think there's something wrong with you for a start but yet in my head I'd still do you so I'm confused."

"You know the phrase softly softly catchy monkey? …I could catch a monkey -if I was starving I could. I’d make poison darts out of the poison off deadly frogs. One milligram of that poison can kill a monkey. Or a man. Pr!ck yourself, you’ll be dead within a day. Or longer. Different frogs, different times."

Tim: "Team Leader don't mean anything mate"
Gareth: "Excuse me, it means I'm leader of a team"
Tim: "No it doesn't. It's a title someone's given you to get you to do something they don't want to do for free - it's like making the div kid at school milk monitor. No one respects it"
Gareth: "Er I think they do"
Tim: "No they don't Gareth"
Gareth: "Er yes they do, cos if people were rude to me then I used to give them their milk last... so it was warm."

"A good idea is a good idea forever."

"I'm not going to ask for his name. Or her. Women are just as bad, they can be charming and polite but...women...are...dirty"

"It’s a fun place, but it’s full of loose women. My only problem with that is venereal disease, which is disabilitating right, especially for a soldier. And it’s irresponsible to the rest of your unit as well. Alright, you’ve been under attack for days, there’s a soldier down, he’s wounded, gangrene’s setting in, ‘who’s used all the penicillin?’ ‘Oh, Mark Paxton sir, he’s got knobrot off some tart.’"

Blank wrote:
> By the way, you messed that quote up a bit Skanky. Just thought I'd
> point it out :)

Yeah I know :-D

"whats this?"

"Its a d***o."

SHEEPY wrote:

> Also I watched Coupling for first time the other night and I quite
> liked it

--

Damn straight.