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"The Office Series 1 quotes."

Watched through the whole of the first series over the weekend. Hadn't seen many of the episodes first time around, so some of the quotes were hilarious. Here are a couple of my favourites:

"So, Gareth, what's your fantasy?"

"Two lesbians. Sisters probably. I'm just watching..."

- - - - - -

"What are you thinking right now, then?"

"I was wondering, if a boy would ever be born who could swim faster than a shark."

- - - - - - - -

"Why should women with big breasts be expolited?"

"They should be rewarded, if anything."

- - - - - - -

"I just stayed in and had a biiiiiig w**k."

Thing is, however much of an idiot he is, I still felt sorry for him when he was told he was to be made redundant.

Possibly no more after this series then? Or do you reckon he'll somehow keep his job?

And, of course, Brent dancing.
Taken waaaay beyond any comfort comedy zone and into painful, teeth-itching embarassment.

Last night ruled.

"No, I've got the aarse view here. I wouldn't want to be him sitting there unless you were wearing a skirt, then I could look up...at it"

"They call them f@nny packs there"
"Mm-hm"
"Because f@nny means your aarse"
"..uh-huh"
"...not your m***e"
"..."

"I've got a stigmatism I've had since the age of 5 ok? That's why my eyes are...bulbous. I dont call you Whale-boy do I?"
"No,and I didn't say 'Oo, hello Mong-Man' did I?"

"If you have lost both legs and both arms just go 'at least I'm not dead'. Though I'd rather be dead in that situation to be honest- I'm not saying people like that should be put down. I'm saying that in my life I'd rather not live without arms and legs 'cos you know... I'm just getting into yoga"

"Is that an earring?"

"Yeah, get over it, whatever."

"How long have you had it?"

"Toooo long, baby..."

"But... it's bleeding."

"[immediately] Yeah, it really stings."

Funniest episode is the one where he's got the guitar, so bloody funny.

That computer geek was just the best.

"And someone had left a ramp in the track and they we saying oh he's definently dead, I hit the ramp and I flipped upside down and they were like, oh he's definently dead now, I flipped right round, landed on the wheels, drove round, pulled over and said, what you worrying about?"

Simon: "You know Bruce Lee's not really dead don't you? Yeah it's in a book - what he did was he faked his own death so that he could work undercover for the Hong Kong police infiltrating drugs gangs and The Triads"

Gareth: "Yeah I reckon that's true"

Tim: "Yeah I reckon that's true 'cos if you were gonna send someone undercover to investigate The Triads you'd probably want the world's most famous Chinese film star"

It was great when david was fighting with that guy thats above him from the swindon office.

And how funny is the staff training episode?
That and quiz night have to be the best two so far. I mean come on...he's playing a guitar.

...Every breath you take.