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I am in such a bad way. I had a massive fight with my girlfriend last night. We have been together for over a year and I love her dearly, but last night we had the worst fight ever. We were even physical with each other and I would never usually hit a woman. In the end I told her I wanted her to be out of my house tomorrow - because she lives with me. I slept in another room last night and this morning we didn't say a word to each other. We dodged each other round the house and went to work our seperate ways.
I dont know what to say to her when/if I see her when I get back from work. Deep down I dont want her to go as I love her and we have fun together, but we have been arguing loads and I have been finding myself looking at other women, thinking "she looks nice". I'm sure she doesn't want to leave either, but I am really stuborn and dont think I can say sorry to her.
Please help me.....
I dont know what to say to her when/if I see her when I get back from work. Deep down I dont want her to go as I love her and we have fun together, but we have been arguing loads and I have been finding myself looking at other women, thinking "she looks nice". I'm sure she doesn't want to leave either, but I am really stuborn and dont think I can say sorry to her.
Please help me.....
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Mr Ripper wrote:
> The way you rant on, I doubt you'd even do that. You'd have let her
> beat on you til it required hospital treatment. And where would your
> message lie? An unspoken "look what you've done to me."? No.
> That's the mistake so many women make, because as far as the person
> who's beat you is concerned, the message is "THAT is what will
> happen every time you cross me. Don't ever do it again."
--
No you patronising ape.
I would not be in that relationship in the 1st place.
I'm not even commenting on your situation, but circumstances as befit me.
Your response of "Hurting me only hurts you" is basic at best, why waste time in a relationship that involves any degree of abuse?
You leave and enter into a normal, balanced enviroment where it does not even enter a person's head to use force from *either* party.
Domestic abuse, from either gender, is an absolute wrong.
And the only answer, the sanest and most logical answer is to remove yourself from that situation.
Not hit back to "teach a lesson"
You deal with things your way, I deal with things my way.
Difference is, my friend, I only present my views and do not criticise other people's.
You seem unable to restrict your debate to your own personal beliefs, and try to impose your view on others, sneering and trying to come off as a superior person if anyone disagrees with you.
You are wrong in this instance however,and I do not expect you to descend from your ivory tower to even consider the possibility for one instant, for that would indicate the possibility you entertain the notion that you are not always correct. Something you are unable to do.
Your girlfriend hits you, so instead of leaving an abusive destructive relationship? You remain and hit back and use the excuse "Hurting me only hurts you"
You deserve each other, long may you apologise to each other after another kicking.
> The way you rant on, I doubt you'd even do that. You'd have let her
> beat on you til it required hospital treatment. And where would your
> message lie? An unspoken "look what you've done to me."? No.
> That's the mistake so many women make, because as far as the person
> who's beat you is concerned, the message is "THAT is what will
> happen every time you cross me. Don't ever do it again."
--
No you patronising ape.
I would not be in that relationship in the 1st place.
I'm not even commenting on your situation, but circumstances as befit me.
Your response of "Hurting me only hurts you" is basic at best, why waste time in a relationship that involves any degree of abuse?
You leave and enter into a normal, balanced enviroment where it does not even enter a person's head to use force from *either* party.
Domestic abuse, from either gender, is an absolute wrong.
And the only answer, the sanest and most logical answer is to remove yourself from that situation.
Not hit back to "teach a lesson"
You deal with things your way, I deal with things my way.
Difference is, my friend, I only present my views and do not criticise other people's.
You seem unable to restrict your debate to your own personal beliefs, and try to impose your view on others, sneering and trying to come off as a superior person if anyone disagrees with you.
You are wrong in this instance however,and I do not expect you to descend from your ivory tower to even consider the possibility for one instant, for that would indicate the possibility you entertain the notion that you are not always correct. Something you are unable to do.
Your girlfriend hits you, so instead of leaving an abusive destructive relationship? You remain and hit back and use the excuse "Hurting me only hurts you"
You deserve each other, long may you apologise to each other after another kicking.
Mr.Snuggly wrote:
> If your bird's beating on you, you don't hit back, you pack your bags
> and you leave. Retaliating can only make things worse. If a lady
> started beating on me, the message I'd send her wouldn't be
> "that's what you get", it would be "you stepped over
> the line, have a nice life".
quitters never win.
> If your bird's beating on you, you don't hit back, you pack your bags
> and you leave. Retaliating can only make things worse. If a lady
> started beating on me, the message I'd send her wouldn't be
> "that's what you get", it would be "you stepped over
> the line, have a nice life".
quitters never win.
Well, if that's what happened, then he's just an idiot. That's unprovoked assault, and whether it was female or male, it's unacceptable.
If your bird's beating on you, you don't hit back, you pack your bags and you leave. Retaliating can only make things worse. If a lady started beating on me, the message I'd send her wouldn't be "that's what you get", it would be "you stepped over the line, have a nice life".
She was trying to get his autograph. He asked her for sex. She said no. He broke her jaw. But y'know it's fine because he was doing it for women everywhere, being the great guy that he is.
Mr. Happy wrote:
> It is the argument of a total gimp.
I don't know any of the details about what provoked that incident, but if he was in personal danger, is it not his right to defend himself against the percieved threat?
Just because it's female, doesn't mean it can't break your bones.
> It is the argument of a total gimp.
I don't know any of the details about what provoked that incident, but if he was in personal danger, is it not his right to defend himself against the percieved threat?
Just because it's female, doesn't mean it can't break your bones.
This is my opinion, and only my OPINION:
It is not ok for a women to hit a man, or a man to hit a women, a man to hit a man, a women to hit a women and so on and so on.
BUT
I think it may be ok (to an extent) if it is in self defence and you are trying to protect yourself.
ALTHOUGH
I do not think it is right for anyone to punch, break bones etc etc. This will inevitably leave a bruise and will really hurt.
ALSO
Do not hit in the "private" region....... in either sex.
It is bad to hit a women, and same with a man. but to restrain them is ok. I will admit I have been in a fight with a man. I dont think I have punched a man, but used my nails and bit them and slapped them. He had to "restrain" me and I am actually glad as it could have got nasty. He did not "hit" me, but he did grab me really tightly and left a bruise on my arm. I asked him if he wanted to hit me and he said he did. I could tell he did, that's why I asked him. But he said he didn't because it's bad.
This really is a tough discussion, and i think men hit women because they like to feel powerful over the women and to show they are in charge. I didn't have a fight wth mith this man to feel powerful, I was just really annoyed and I was trying to get something he was holding, he wouldn't give it to me so I tried to grab it off him, he got angrey too and it started from there.
It is not ok for a women to hit a man, or a man to hit a women, a man to hit a man, a women to hit a women and so on and so on.
BUT
I think it may be ok (to an extent) if it is in self defence and you are trying to protect yourself.
ALTHOUGH
I do not think it is right for anyone to punch, break bones etc etc. This will inevitably leave a bruise and will really hurt.
ALSO
Do not hit in the "private" region....... in either sex.
It is bad to hit a women, and same with a man. but to restrain them is ok. I will admit I have been in a fight with a man. I dont think I have punched a man, but used my nails and bit them and slapped them. He had to "restrain" me and I am actually glad as it could have got nasty. He did not "hit" me, but he did grab me really tightly and left a bruise on my arm. I asked him if he wanted to hit me and he said he did. I could tell he did, that's why I asked him. But he said he didn't because it's bad.
This really is a tough discussion, and i think men hit women because they like to feel powerful over the women and to show they are in charge. I didn't have a fight wth mith this man to feel powerful, I was just really annoyed and I was trying to get something he was holding, he wouldn't give it to me so I tried to grab it off him, he got angrey too and it started from there.
This is my opinion, and only my OPINION:
It is not ok for a women to hit a man, or a man to hit a women, a man to hit a man, a women to hit a women and so on and so on.
BUT
I think it may be ok (to an extent) if it is in self defence and you are trying to protect yourself.
ALTHOUGH
I do not think it is right for anyone to punch, break bones etc etc. This will inevitably leave a bruise and will really hurt.
ALSO
Do not hit in the "private" region....... in either sex.
It is bad to hit a women, and same with a man. but to restrain them is ok. I will admit I have been in a fight with a man. I dont think I have punched a man, but used my nails and bit them and slapped them. He had to "restrain" me and I am actually glad as it could have got nasty. He did not "hit" me, but he did grab me really tightly and left a bruise on my arm. I asked him if he wanted to hit me and he said he did. I could tell he did, that's why I asked him. But he said he didn't because it's bad.
This really is a tough discussion, and i think men hit women because they like to feel powerful over the women and to show they are in charge. I didn't have a fight wth mith this man to feel powerful, I was just really annoyed and I was trying to get something he was holding, he wouldn't give it to me so I tried to grab it off him, he got angrey too and it started from there.
It is not ok for a women to hit a man, or a man to hit a women, a man to hit a man, a women to hit a women and so on and so on.
BUT
I think it may be ok (to an extent) if it is in self defence and you are trying to protect yourself.
ALTHOUGH
I do not think it is right for anyone to punch, break bones etc etc. This will inevitably leave a bruise and will really hurt.
ALSO
Do not hit in the "private" region....... in either sex.
It is bad to hit a women, and same with a man. but to restrain them is ok. I will admit I have been in a fight with a man. I dont think I have punched a man, but used my nails and bit them and slapped them. He had to "restrain" me and I am actually glad as it could have got nasty. He did not "hit" me, but he did grab me really tightly and left a bruise on my arm. I asked him if he wanted to hit me and he said he did. I could tell he did, that's why I asked him. But he said he didn't because it's bad.
This really is a tough discussion, and i think men hit women because they like to feel powerful over the women and to show they are in charge. I didn't have a fight wth mith this man to feel powerful, I was just really annoyed and I was trying to get something he was holding, he wouldn't give it to me so I tried to grab it off him, he got angrey too and it started from there.
Oh, sure, relationship abuse is bad.
But the incident I was involved in, I see as perfectly acceptable. Stupid argument, ending in high stress environment, resulting in girlfriend trying to beat the crap out of me, ending in me with a swollen lip, a bloody ear and scratches on my arm. In turn, she has a bruise on her arm that hopefully burns a message into her head "Hurting me only hurts you".
I didn't strike her, though the darker side of my personality certainly wanted to, but I merely made sure that she couldn't hit me anymore.
The way you rant on, I doubt you'd even do that. You'd have let her beat on you til it required hospital treatment. And where would your message lie? An unspoken "look what you've done to me."? No. That's the mistake so many women make, because as far as the person who's beat you is concerned, the message is "THAT is what will happen every time you cross me. Don't ever do it again."
There is a line to be drawn between chivalry and stupidity. Nevermind that chivalry itself has no place in modern times. By all means avoid smacking the girl in the face, but then, by all means avoid smacking anyone that way. But not at too great a cost to yourself. The message too seldom gets across by turning the other cheek. Ultimately, your sacrifice is meaningless, indeed, often misconstrued, and taken instead as a sign of weakness.
Put this way, the fastest way to end a fight is to take away your opponents ability to hit you. To some unamed opponent, I would achieve this through attacking knee joints and throat, going for all out incapacitation, however, with someone I know, and indeed someone I love, pinning them down and making them know they are helpless is enough to suffice.
If my girlfriend had instead been one of my friends, I would have dealt with it the same way. I'm not sexually discriminant in that manner.
However, avoiding sexual discrimination can also be dangerous. The American army has female infantry. God help them.
But the incident I was involved in, I see as perfectly acceptable. Stupid argument, ending in high stress environment, resulting in girlfriend trying to beat the crap out of me, ending in me with a swollen lip, a bloody ear and scratches on my arm. In turn, she has a bruise on her arm that hopefully burns a message into her head "Hurting me only hurts you".
I didn't strike her, though the darker side of my personality certainly wanted to, but I merely made sure that she couldn't hit me anymore.
The way you rant on, I doubt you'd even do that. You'd have let her beat on you til it required hospital treatment. And where would your message lie? An unspoken "look what you've done to me."? No. That's the mistake so many women make, because as far as the person who's beat you is concerned, the message is "THAT is what will happen every time you cross me. Don't ever do it again."
There is a line to be drawn between chivalry and stupidity. Nevermind that chivalry itself has no place in modern times. By all means avoid smacking the girl in the face, but then, by all means avoid smacking anyone that way. But not at too great a cost to yourself. The message too seldom gets across by turning the other cheek. Ultimately, your sacrifice is meaningless, indeed, often misconstrued, and taken instead as a sign of weakness.
Put this way, the fastest way to end a fight is to take away your opponents ability to hit you. To some unamed opponent, I would achieve this through attacking knee joints and throat, going for all out incapacitation, however, with someone I know, and indeed someone I love, pinning them down and making them know they are helpless is enough to suffice.
If my girlfriend had instead been one of my friends, I would have dealt with it the same way. I'm not sexually discriminant in that manner.
However, avoiding sexual discrimination can also be dangerous. The American army has female infantry. God help them.
Mr Ripper wrote:
> So. Women are allowed to hit women, and women are allowed to hit men,
> but men aren't allowed to hit women.
>
> That is such a horribly sexist remark, and in an age of equal rights,
> you should be ashamed of yourself. In years to come, you may be
> prosecuted for such remarks.
I don't know if you remember when a member of the So Solid Crew broke a 15 year old female fan's jaw, but that was the argument he used, in fact they all used, to defend him in the NME; "He hit her because he's not sexist."
It is the argument of a total gimp.
> So. Women are allowed to hit women, and women are allowed to hit men,
> but men aren't allowed to hit women.
>
> That is such a horribly sexist remark, and in an age of equal rights,
> you should be ashamed of yourself. In years to come, you may be
> prosecuted for such remarks.
I don't know if you remember when a member of the So Solid Crew broke a 15 year old female fan's jaw, but that was the argument he used, in fact they all used, to defend him in the NME; "He hit her because he's not sexist."
It is the argument of a total gimp.
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