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This thread is now the official Special Reserve jokes thread, post all your gags in here rather than spewing them all over the rest of the forums. Let's keep it nice and tidy, no racist jokes, keep the sexist ones to a minimum and no foul language, please.
Gag away!
Gag away!
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Life begins at 50...I mean 40 :-)
go out into the street and find the nearest, smallest animal (preferably a cat). Continuously poke it with a stick.
Endless fun!
or write i am 50 on a piece of paper, then read it over and over. Should make you laugh till 'laugh' has lost it's meaning.
:-D
Endless fun!
or write i am 50 on a piece of paper, then read it over and over. Should make you laugh till 'laugh' has lost it's meaning.
:-D
P@st@ M@st@ wrote:
> 14 ways to get sacked...
He's not the one that gets sacked, he's the one that does the sacking.
> 14 ways to get sacked...
He's not the one that gets sacked, he's the one that does the sacking.
Seek revenge..
s**t on a pidgeon!
s**t on a pidgeon!
Mandatar, your "joke".
That's not funny, that's just plain bad taste.
That's not funny, that's just plain bad taste.
A man called John invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of
the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how handsome Johns flatmate
was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and
this only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and his flatmate than met the eye. Reading his Mum's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Simon and I are just flatmates."
About a week later, Simon came to John saying, "Ever since your mother came
to dinner I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You
don't suppose she took it, do you?"
"Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her just to be sure," said John. So he sat down and wrote:
Dear Mother,
I'm not saying that you 'did' take the gravy ladle from my house, I'm not
saying that you 'did not' take the gravy ladle, but the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love, John
Several days later John received an email from his Mother, which read:
Dear Son,
I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Simon, and I'm not saying that you
'do not' sleep with Simon, but the fact remains that if he was sleeping in
his own bed he would have found the bloody gravy ladle by now.
Love, Mum
Lesson of the day:
Don't Ever Lie to Your Mother! (She always, ALWAYS finds out)
the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how handsome Johns flatmate
was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and
this only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and his flatmate than met the eye. Reading his Mum's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Simon and I are just flatmates."
About a week later, Simon came to John saying, "Ever since your mother came
to dinner I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You
don't suppose she took it, do you?"
"Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her just to be sure," said John. So he sat down and wrote:
Dear Mother,
I'm not saying that you 'did' take the gravy ladle from my house, I'm not
saying that you 'did not' take the gravy ladle, but the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love, John
Several days later John received an email from his Mother, which read:
Dear Son,
I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Simon, and I'm not saying that you
'do not' sleep with Simon, but the fact remains that if he was sleeping in
his own bed he would have found the bloody gravy ladle by now.
Love, Mum
Lesson of the day:
Don't Ever Lie to Your Mother! (She always, ALWAYS finds out)
er-no.com
It says happy birthday to Tony on the navi page.
:D
It says happy birthday to Tony on the navi page.
:D
Heh
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