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This thread is now the official Special Reserve jokes thread, post all your gags in here rather than spewing them all over the rest of the forums. Let's keep it nice and tidy, no racist jokes, keep the sexist ones to a minimum and no foul language, please.
Gag away!
Gag away!
Page:
"Bill Gates and General Motors"
Bill Gates is hanging out with the chairman of General Motors.
"If automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades," boasts Gates, "you would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a top speed of 10,000 miles per hour. Or, you could have an economy car that weighs 30 pounds and gets a thousand miles to a gallon of gas. In either case, the sticker price of a new car would be less than $50."
"Sure," says the GM chairman. "But would you really want to drive a car that crashes four times a day?"
-----
Indeed, 'tis true.
*computer crashes*
Bill Gates is hanging out with the chairman of General Motors.
"If automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades," boasts Gates, "you would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a top speed of 10,000 miles per hour. Or, you could have an economy car that weighs 30 pounds and gets a thousand miles to a gallon of gas. In either case, the sticker price of a new car would be less than $50."
"Sure," says the GM chairman. "But would you really want to drive a car that crashes four times a day?"
-----
Indeed, 'tis true.
*computer crashes*
What sound do Pokemon make when they get ill...?
"Pika... pika... pikACHOOO!"
(get it...? pik... ACHOO...? As in sneezing...?)
That joke is so lame... I can't believe I wasted a whole two minutes of my life thinking it up... in fact, it's so lame that it's funny... :D
(or not...)
"Pika... pika... pikACHOOO!"
(get it...? pik... ACHOO...? As in sneezing...?)
That joke is so lame... I can't believe I wasted a whole two minutes of my life thinking it up... in fact, it's so lame that it's funny... :D
(or not...)
"Windows 666"
Bill Gates dies, and ascends to the Pearly Gates to meet God. God immediately recognizes him and says to him "Bill Gates -- you're a great man. I shall give you a choice of either heaven or hell." Bill Gates tells God that he would like to see both before making a decision.
So God takes Bill Gates down to Hell, where there are beautiful, nubile bikini models, perfect weather, free drinks, and eternal happiness. "That doesn't seem so bad," says Gates. "Let's see Heaven now." God and Gates go to Heaven, which seems to be just a bunch of old, crusty angels flying around and sitting on a few clouds. "I've made my decision," says Gates. "I choose Hell."
Six months later, God goes down to Hell to check on him and finds him hanging above a pit of fire with wild harpies tearing out his intestines. "What happened to all the bikini models and the sun and the fun?" Gates screams. "Oh, that," says God. "That was just the demo."
------
Hur hur...... some people are cruel to good ol' Bill aint they.
:D
And im determined to get more.
Bill Gates dies, and ascends to the Pearly Gates to meet God. God immediately recognizes him and says to him "Bill Gates -- you're a great man. I shall give you a choice of either heaven or hell." Bill Gates tells God that he would like to see both before making a decision.
So God takes Bill Gates down to Hell, where there are beautiful, nubile bikini models, perfect weather, free drinks, and eternal happiness. "That doesn't seem so bad," says Gates. "Let's see Heaven now." God and Gates go to Heaven, which seems to be just a bunch of old, crusty angels flying around and sitting on a few clouds. "I've made my decision," says Gates. "I choose Hell."
Six months later, God goes down to Hell to check on him and finds him hanging above a pit of fire with wild harpies tearing out his intestines. "What happened to all the bikini models and the sun and the fun?" Gates screams. "Oh, that," says God. "That was just the demo."
------
Hur hur...... some people are cruel to good ol' Bill aint they.
:D
And im determined to get more.
Ladies in her house getting changed. The door bell rings and she shouts 'who is it?' the person at the door replies 'it's the blind man'. As he is a blind man she doesnt mind letting him in while she is half dressed. The man comes in and says 'nice breasts (im watching what I say because I dont want to be banned) now where do you want me to hang the blind?'
Well..... eemmm..... do you really want to know.....?
*runs*
:D
*runs*
:D
... More sexual innuendo than... a channel 5 game show... or something...
Hercules! wrote:
> "Bill Gates' Honeymoon"
>
> After Bill Gates wedding night, his wife finally knew why he called
> his company Microsoft.
>
> ------
>
> Hur hur.....
>
> ;D
Why was that then? Huh!
> "Bill Gates' Honeymoon"
>
> After Bill Gates wedding night, his wife finally knew why he called
> his company Microsoft.
>
> ------
>
> Hur hur.....
>
> ;D
Why was that then? Huh!
"Bill Gates' Honeymoon"
After Bill Gates wedding night, his wife finally knew why he called his company Microsoft.
------
Hur hur.....
;D
After Bill Gates wedding night, his wife finally knew why he called his company Microsoft.
------
Hur hur.....
;D
Why did the chicken cross the road...?
Hmmm, on second thoughts, I think I'll come up with something a bit more original...
Hmmm, on second thoughts, I think I'll come up with something a bit more original...
This thread is now the official Special Reserve jokes thread, post all your gags in here rather than spewing them all over the rest of the forums. Let's keep it nice and tidy, no racist jokes, keep the sexist ones to a minimum and no foul language, please.
Gag away!
Gag away!
Page: