The "General Games Chat" forum, which includes Retro Game Reviews, has been archived and is now read-only. You cannot post here or create a new thread or review on this forum.
This thread is now the official Special Reserve jokes thread, post all your gags in here rather than spewing them all over the rest of the forums. Let's keep it nice and tidy, no racist jokes, keep the sexist ones to a minimum and no foul language, please.
Gag away!
Gag away!
Page:
Tony wrote:
> Mr.Snuggly wrote:
> Did you know Craig David has been chosen to represent England in
> Archery at the Olympics? He's going to be their Bo Selecta.
>
> Keep a couple of your evenings free to judge the winner of this will
> you Snuggly. (the above joke is not the winner, by the way)
Hey, if I'm judging it, then I pick the winner...
> Mr.Snuggly wrote:
> Did you know Craig David has been chosen to represent England in
> Archery at the Olympics? He's going to be their Bo Selecta.
>
> Keep a couple of your evenings free to judge the winner of this will
> you Snuggly. (the above joke is not the winner, by the way)
Hey, if I'm judging it, then I pick the winner...
Mr.Snuggly wrote:
> Did you know Craig David has been chosen to represent England in
> Archery at the Olympics? He's going to be their Bo Selecta.
Keep a couple of your evenings free to judge the winner of this will you Snuggly. (the above joke is not the winner, by the way)
> Did you know Craig David has been chosen to represent England in
> Archery at the Olympics? He's going to be their Bo Selecta.
Keep a couple of your evenings free to judge the winner of this will you Snuggly. (the above joke is not the winner, by the way)
What do you call an asian man with an apple on his head?
William Patel
P.S. And before you all start, that is not racist.
William Patel
P.S. And before you all start, that is not racist.
Q. What's the difference between your manhood and your Christmas bonus?
A. Women are more than happy to blow your Christmas bonus......
A. Women are more than happy to blow your Christmas bonus......
Q, What have women and tornado's got in common?
A, At first they are wet and wild, but at the end they have taken your car, house and all of your property with them.
A, At first they are wet and wild, but at the end they have taken your car, house and all of your property with them.
Mr.Snuggly wrote:
> Did you know Craig David has been chosen to represent England in
> Archery at the Olympics? He's going to be their Bo Selecta.
LOL MrSnuggly nice to see you back and very funny ;0)
btw if you get a chance read my new spoof "Taming Of The Shrew" your in the starring role ;0)
> Did you know Craig David has been chosen to represent England in
> Archery at the Olympics? He's going to be their Bo Selecta.
LOL MrSnuggly nice to see you back and very funny ;0)
btw if you get a chance read my new spoof "Taming Of The Shrew" your in the starring role ;0)
Did you know Craig David has been chosen to represent England in Archery at the Olympics? He's going to be their Bo Selecta.
A successful business man flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost everything, including the shirt off his back. He had nothing on him except for a quarter and the second half of his round trip ticket. If he could just get to the airport he could get himself home.
So he went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting. He got in and explained his situation to the cabby. He promised to send the driver the money from home, he offered him his credit card numbers, his drivers licence number, his address, etc. but to no avail.
"If you don't have fifteen dollars, get the hell out of my cab!" So the businessman was forced to hitch hike to the airport and was barely in time to catch his flight. One year later the businessman, having worked long and hard to regain his financial success, returned to Vegas and this time he won big.
Feeling pretty good about himself, he went out to the front of the casino to get a cab ride back to the airport. Well who should he see out there, at the end of a long line of cabs, but his old buddy who had refused him a ride when he was down on his luck. The business man thought for a moment about how he could get his revenge for the lack of charity, and he hit on a plan.
The businessman got in the first cab in the line, "How much for a ride to the airport?" he asked. "Fifteen bucks," came the reply. "And how much for you to go down on me (oral sex) during the way?' "What?!? Get out of my cab you scum." The businessman got into the back of each cab in the long line and asked the same questions to every driver with the same result.
When he got to his old friend at the back of the line, he got in and asked "How much for a ride to the airport?" The cabby replied "fifteen bucks".
The businessman replied "OK" and off they went. Then as they drove slowly past the long line of cabs the businessman gave a big smile and thumbs up to each driver.
So he went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting. He got in and explained his situation to the cabby. He promised to send the driver the money from home, he offered him his credit card numbers, his drivers licence number, his address, etc. but to no avail.
"If you don't have fifteen dollars, get the hell out of my cab!" So the businessman was forced to hitch hike to the airport and was barely in time to catch his flight. One year later the businessman, having worked long and hard to regain his financial success, returned to Vegas and this time he won big.
Feeling pretty good about himself, he went out to the front of the casino to get a cab ride back to the airport. Well who should he see out there, at the end of a long line of cabs, but his old buddy who had refused him a ride when he was down on his luck. The business man thought for a moment about how he could get his revenge for the lack of charity, and he hit on a plan.
The businessman got in the first cab in the line, "How much for a ride to the airport?" he asked. "Fifteen bucks," came the reply. "And how much for you to go down on me (oral sex) during the way?' "What?!? Get out of my cab you scum." The businessman got into the back of each cab in the long line and asked the same questions to every driver with the same result.
When he got to his old friend at the back of the line, he got in and asked "How much for a ride to the airport?" The cabby replied "fifteen bucks".
The businessman replied "OK" and off they went. Then as they drove slowly past the long line of cabs the businessman gave a big smile and thumbs up to each driver.
A woman went into a pet shop to find a beautiful parrot. She saw one that she liked and asked how much. The owner said it was only £50. Delighted that such a rare looking and beautiful bird wasn't more expensive, she agreed to buy it. The owner told her, "Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of ill repute. Sometimes it says pretty rude things."
The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird and took it home. She hung the bird's cage up and waited for it to say something. The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, "New house, new madam." The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought that's not so bad. Later, the woman's two teenage daughters came in. The parrot looked at them and said, "New house, new madam, new prostitutes." The girls and the woman were a bit offended at first, but than began to laugh.
Later, the woman's husband came home from work. The bird looked at him and said, "New house, new madam, new prostitutes; same old faces. Hi George!"
The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird and took it home. She hung the bird's cage up and waited for it to say something. The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, "New house, new madam." The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought that's not so bad. Later, the woman's two teenage daughters came in. The parrot looked at them and said, "New house, new madam, new prostitutes." The girls and the woman were a bit offended at first, but than began to laugh.
Later, the woman's husband came home from work. The bird looked at him and said, "New house, new madam, new prostitutes; same old faces. Hi George!"
Page: