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There was a cat and a c**krel. They walk onto a bridge and the cat falls in. The c**krel bursts out laughing. Whats the morale of this story?
Answer: Wherever there is a wet pu*sy there is always a happy c**k!!!!!!!!
Answer: Wherever there is a wet pu*sy there is always a happy c**k!!!!!!!!
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Oh my sides are splitting!!!... urgh
A man wearing nothing on his bottom half apart from some cling film, walks into a physchiatrist... the physciatrist turns round and says
"Well I can clearly see you nuts"
Ba dum cha! :D
A man wearing nothing on his bottom half apart from some cling film, walks into a physchiatrist... the physciatrist turns round and says
"Well I can clearly see you nuts"
Ba dum cha! :D
Callum Chapman wrote:
> i have another one...
>
> Q. What has colourful feathers and has red spots?
>
> A. A chicken with chicken spots!
That sort of thing is sneered at by three year-olds and drunks, so why do you post it here? If you want to get a GAD, this surely isn't the way to do it
> i have another one...
>
> Q. What has colourful feathers and has red spots?
>
> A. A chicken with chicken spots!
That sort of thing is sneered at by three year-olds and drunks, so why do you post it here? If you want to get a GAD, this surely isn't the way to do it
What is the hottest part of the Sun?
answer- page 3!
answer- page 3!
Where does Gary Glitter go on holiday?
answer- to Tampa, with the kids!
answer- to Tampa, with the kids!
I got a funny 1
3 guys are standing in front of St Peter waiting to be admitted into heaven when St Peter comes back and anounces that he will only be admiting 33% of the aplicants (1). He tells them that the one person with the best tale of how they died will be the one let in.
The first guy goes to St Peter and sais, "I had reason to belive that my wife had been cheating on me for some time, so i came home early to see if I could catch her out. I got home and saw a pair of mens trousers on the floor and realising that the man should still be in the house I started searching. "I couldn't find him anywhere until I had a thought, what about the balcony, so I went on to the balcany and i saw a pair of hands on the edge. I looked down and there he was hanging there on the edge. I started kicking his hands but he wouldn't fall off so I got a hammer and wacked him one. The guy fell off the balcony and into some bushes so I went and pushed the fridge off the balcony and it killed him. Afterwards I was so mad at myself for what I did that I shot myself. ( shotgun through mouth).
Hmmm said saint Peter before shouting NEXT.
The second guy comes up and sais, Well, it was mid afternoon and I was practicing my excercises on the balcony when I slipped down over the edge, falling several floors. I managed to hold on to another guys balcony but only just. I was hanging on for dear life. The guy who's balcony it was came out and started kicking me and shouting, he was really irate. he left for a minute and I tried to climb up but the guy came out with a hammer and clobbed me one. I let go and fell 10 odd floors into a bush. I couldn't belive my luck, I still wasn't dead, but then I looked up and saw a great fridge fall out the sky and it killed me.
Oh dear said saint Peter realising the staryline and again shouted NEXT.
Up steps the third guy and sais, Picture this, your cheating on some guys wife and hiding naked in a refridgerator..........
3 guys are standing in front of St Peter waiting to be admitted into heaven when St Peter comes back and anounces that he will only be admiting 33% of the aplicants (1). He tells them that the one person with the best tale of how they died will be the one let in.
The first guy goes to St Peter and sais, "I had reason to belive that my wife had been cheating on me for some time, so i came home early to see if I could catch her out. I got home and saw a pair of mens trousers on the floor and realising that the man should still be in the house I started searching. "I couldn't find him anywhere until I had a thought, what about the balcony, so I went on to the balcany and i saw a pair of hands on the edge. I looked down and there he was hanging there on the edge. I started kicking his hands but he wouldn't fall off so I got a hammer and wacked him one. The guy fell off the balcony and into some bushes so I went and pushed the fridge off the balcony and it killed him. Afterwards I was so mad at myself for what I did that I shot myself. ( shotgun through mouth).
Hmmm said saint Peter before shouting NEXT.
The second guy comes up and sais, Well, it was mid afternoon and I was practicing my excercises on the balcony when I slipped down over the edge, falling several floors. I managed to hold on to another guys balcony but only just. I was hanging on for dear life. The guy who's balcony it was came out and started kicking me and shouting, he was really irate. he left for a minute and I tried to climb up but the guy came out with a hammer and clobbed me one. I let go and fell 10 odd floors into a bush. I couldn't belive my luck, I still wasn't dead, but then I looked up and saw a great fridge fall out the sky and it killed me.
Oh dear said saint Peter realising the staryline and again shouted NEXT.
Up steps the third guy and sais, Picture this, your cheating on some guys wife and hiding naked in a refridgerator..........
Why can't Matthew Kelly become England's manager?
answer- he keeps puting Seaman in the under 16's!!
ha! ha!
answer- he keeps puting Seaman in the under 16's!!
ha! ha!
What do you say to a man with a big nose a a moustache?
answer- with a nose that big there is no need to underline it!!
answer- with a nose that big there is no need to underline it!!
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