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There was a cat and a c**krel. They walk onto a bridge and the cat falls in. The c**krel bursts out laughing. Whats the morale of this story?
Answer: Wherever there is a wet pu*sy there is always a happy c**k!!!!!!!!
Answer: Wherever there is a wet pu*sy there is always a happy c**k!!!!!!!!
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A teacher asked a boy to go home and come back the next day with 3 words he went home and asked his brothers for 3 words the first 1 said shutup 2nd 1 said yes the 3rd 1 said Batman. He went back the next day.
teacher: have you got 3 words.
boy:yes
boy shutup
teacher:do you want detention!
boy:yes
teacher:who do you think you are!
boy:batman.
teacher: have you got 3 words.
boy:yes
boy shutup
teacher:do you want detention!
boy:yes
teacher:who do you think you are!
boy:batman.
A Frenchman, an Englishman, and a New Yorker - captured by cannibals...
The chief cannibal approaches them and says, "The bad news is that
now that we've caught you, we're going to kill you. We will put you
in a pot and cook you, then we will eat you and use your skins to
build a canoe. The good news is that each of you get to choose how
you will die."
The Frenchman says, "I take ze sword."
The chief gives him a sword, he says, "Vive la France!" and runs
himself through.
The Englishman says, "A pistol for me, if you please old chap."
The chief gives him a pistol, he points it at his head, and says,
"God save the queen!" and pulls the trigger.
The New Yorker says, "Hey you, gimme a fork."
The chief cannibal is puzzled but he shrugs his shoulders and hands
the New Yorker a fork.
The New Yorker takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over...
the stomach, the sides, the chest, everywhere. Blood is gushing out
all over, making a mess.
The chief is appalled and asks, "What in heaven's name are you doing?"
The New Yorker says, "Putting holes in your canoe!
The chief cannibal approaches them and says, "The bad news is that
now that we've caught you, we're going to kill you. We will put you
in a pot and cook you, then we will eat you and use your skins to
build a canoe. The good news is that each of you get to choose how
you will die."
The Frenchman says, "I take ze sword."
The chief gives him a sword, he says, "Vive la France!" and runs
himself through.
The Englishman says, "A pistol for me, if you please old chap."
The chief gives him a pistol, he points it at his head, and says,
"God save the queen!" and pulls the trigger.
The New Yorker says, "Hey you, gimme a fork."
The chief cannibal is puzzled but he shrugs his shoulders and hands
the New Yorker a fork.
The New Yorker takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over...
the stomach, the sides, the chest, everywhere. Blood is gushing out
all over, making a mess.
The chief is appalled and asks, "What in heaven's name are you doing?"
The New Yorker says, "Putting holes in your canoe!
An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman also get caught by cannibals. The leader says that to survive they must stick ten pieces of fruit up their bottom without making any expression or sound. The Englishman goes off and gets ten apples, he gets two up his bottom and yells ouch. He is Killed and eaten. The Scotsman then goes off and gets ten berries, he gets nine up his bottom and then laughs. He is then killed and eaten. Later in heaven the Englishman and the Scotsman are talking and the Englishman says, ''why didn't you get the last berry up your bottom ?''
The Scotsman replies, ''I saw the Irishman coming over the hill with ten pineapples !''
Ha HA :) (hope you found it funny, sorry if not)
The Scotsman replies, ''I saw the Irishman coming over the hill with ten pineapples !''
Ha HA :) (hope you found it funny, sorry if not)
Once there was a blonde who really needed some money. She saw an ad in a newspaper for a job at an elmo factory. So she went down and applied, but the manager told her that she wouldn't want the job because it was really boring. The blonde begged him and told him that she would do anything because she really needed the money, so the manager gave her the job.
After a few hours the manager looked at the video-monitor showing the factory floor and saw that the conveyor belt was backed up. The manager went downstairs to see what the problem was. When he arrived there the blonde was sewing marbles to each of the elmos crotch.
The manager said " I said to give each elmo a two test tickles; not to two testicles."
After a few hours the manager looked at the video-monitor showing the factory floor and saw that the conveyor belt was backed up. The manager went downstairs to see what the problem was. When he arrived there the blonde was sewing marbles to each of the elmos crotch.
The manager said " I said to give each elmo a two test tickles; not to two testicles."
Englishman, Scotsman, Irishman all caught by the Germans and sent to a POW camp during World War II. Later they all make a daring escape. The Englishman hides in a cage of dogs, the Scotsman hides in a cage of cats and the Irishman hides in a bag of potatoes. The German sentries come looking for them with attack dogs. When they come near him the Englishman says ''woof, woof'', the Scotsman says ''meow, meow''. The Irishman says ''potatoe, potatoe.''
There was a man who was obsessed with the colour red.
The red man was having a wash in his red bath with his red rubber duckie.
There is a knock on the door. The red man gets his red towel goes down his red stairs and answers his red door.
It is the postwoman. The red man is amazed by the postwoman's beauty that he drops his red towel, leaving himself in his red naked glory. The postwoman screamed, ran across the road and killed herself
Moral: Never cross the road when the red man flashes.
For you suckers who don't understand it, the I'm comparing the red man to the red man on the traffic lights that tell you when to not walk.
When I told this joke to my friend, he didn't understand it. Maybe he's stupid??? That's probably why he's my friend.
The red man was having a wash in his red bath with his red rubber duckie.
There is a knock on the door. The red man gets his red towel goes down his red stairs and answers his red door.
It is the postwoman. The red man is amazed by the postwoman's beauty that he drops his red towel, leaving himself in his red naked glory. The postwoman screamed, ran across the road and killed herself
Moral: Never cross the road when the red man flashes.
For you suckers who don't understand it, the I'm comparing the red man to the red man on the traffic lights that tell you when to not walk.
When I told this joke to my friend, he didn't understand it. Maybe he's stupid??? That's probably why he's my friend.
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