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"Daer Meka..."

Hello, and welcome to my brand new problem page. If you have a problem regarding gaming, or any aspecct of your life, then please feel free to post here, and I'll try to see if I can come to some kind of a solution for you.

Here's a couple of the letters I've already recieved:

Dear Meka,

Please can you help me, I'm having an awful time at the moment. I imported a Gamecube from Japan, and I managed to get the box open without any help, but from there I am stuck.

There are loads of leads, but I can't get them all in the television.

Can you please help me?

Nintendo fan, 26, Stoke.

Certainly Nintendo fan. First of all start off my removing your mittens. Now take the instruction manual to a proper adult and ask them if they can help you. Don't ask other Ninties, as you'll have the same problems there.

Hope this helps, Meka.


Dear Meka,

I wiz wundrin wot gamez I should get wen da Gamecube comes out! I don' really like da kiddy games cos I int a kiddy no more. Don' tell me 2 get a Gaystation or a sex-Box cos they is suckers consoles!!!

Limp Bizkit fan, 14, Da Hood.

I'm sorry LB fan, but you're beyond help.

Dear Mocha,

My girlfriend wants to go and watch Black Hawk Down tonight, but I am allergic to jingoistic flag-waving toss by Jerry Bruckheimer.
She says if I dont go then I dont get any sugar for a week.

Please help.

Just fall asleep. Simple as that.

Goatboy wrote:
> Dear Mocha,

My girlfriend wants to go and watch Black Hawk Down tonight, but
> I am allergic to jingoistic flag-waving toss by Jerry Bruckheimer.
She says if
> I dont go then I dont get any sugar for a week.

Please help.

Have a kip in the cinema, that way you'll have plenty of energy for after the movie.

Meka

But it's a war movie with explosions and noise and things.

And the trailer has a little black boy running in slow motion extending his hand to a soldier, begging to be rescued from his hellish life as a non-westernised peasant.
And the shining soldier of western virtue almost reaches him before a bomb goes off and annihilates the kid.

It's going to be really, really a***-clenchingly bad.
And the tagline is "Leave no man behind" and I counted 5 stars and stripes flag in the trailer.
And Obi-Wan Kenobi is in it with a skinhead.

I think my brain will die.
But I like the sugar.

Whoa is me

Ear plugs, and a mask.

Try to book tickets on the phone, find it sold out, and go see something else instead.

Serendipity is probably rubbish, but it looks like the kind of pap that appeals to the female mind.

Meka

but i'm not a woman.
if i was, then i would just stay at home and have a shower

Goatboy wrote:
> but i'm not a woman.
if i was, then i would just stay at home and have a
> shower

But it will please yuor woman, increasing your chances of being allowed to please her further.

Meka

Please her?

Goatboy wrote:
> Please her?

Please yourself.

Excellent advice.
She can go watch the movie, I shall stay at her flat and please myself.