Viewing Thread:
"Townie Jokes"

What d'ya call a townie in a blender?

Mush.



What d'ya call a townie in a fridge?

Chillin.



What d'ya call a townie in a filing cabinet?

Sorted.



What d'ya call a townie in a blender in a box?

Innit mush.



What d'ya call a townie in a jar?

Sweet!



What d'ya call a townie over 13?

Pregnant.



What d'ya call a townie in a car?

Busted.



What d'ya call a townie on a bike?

A thief.



What do you call a townie with his legs stuck down a drain?

Gutted mush.



What d'ya say to a townie with a job?

Big Mac and fries.



What did the little townie say to the big townie?

Can you get served?



What do you say to a townie in a suit?

Will the defendant please stand.



What d'ya call a 30 year old townie?

Dunno, ask his 17 year old son.



How can you tell a female townie virgin?

She can run faster than her brothers.



What do you call a townie in a skatepark?

Lost.



Why did the townie cross the road?

To punch someone for absolutely no reason whatsoever.



What's a townies favourite car?

One without an alarm.



What do townies use as protection during sex?

A bus shelter.



What's the difference between a dying townie and an onion?

Onions make you cry.



How does a townie girl turn the lights off after sex?

She closes the car door.



How many townies does it take to change a light bulb?

5. 1 to put it in, the other 4 to tell him "innit, innit, innit, innit".



What's the difference between a dead cat and a dead townie in the road?

The cat has skid marks in front of it.

Azul wrote:
> Most of these aren't that great, and they're all practically the same,
> just modified a little...

i sense a townie!!

Most of these aren't that great, and they're all practically the same, just modified a little...

what do you call a townie with a bank account?
out of ammo

what do you give a townie for his birthday?
a cake with a file inside

what do you call a good townie?
a corpse

what do you call a townie with a bucket over their head?
better looking

what do townies wear to holloween partys?
their normal cloths

What do you call a townie on a plane

Hijacker


What do you call a townie in Harvey Nichols

A doorman

I'm glad I don't live near you Parr, well not you, but your area in particular, that sounds nasty

Uhuh.....

Damn Parr, just DAMN!

Azul wrote:
> Kyz22 wrote:
> What do you call a townie with a Rolex
>
> A pickpocket
>
> Since when do you keep your watch in your pocket....
> Yeah, their not bad

Since the 1800's when pocket watches were the height of fashion :-P

The townies near me were told by an older boy to beat up someone for he was going out with that older persons ex. now this older person didn't do it himself, becuase if he did then he would not be accepted into the army.

Now, this fight that was started by this one townie did the following.

The year 10's tried to beat up the year 11's in a huge brawl.

Then the Year 10's jumped some more Year 11's at the following dinner time break.

The Year 11's then completely beat up the year 10's.

The year 10's drafted in the entire Bengali population of the school (100 people).

There was a huge fight involving nearly 300 people and anothe 500 watching.

Income the riot police.

After school there was another fight involving bricks, knifes and chains.

The weekend passes with little trouble.

Back to school and there is another huge fight.

After school there is a fight with knifes and someone has a gun. My school gets swarmed by armed police officers with their dogs. Someone gets arrested.

A police presence has remained on my school for the past 2 weeks, but things have seemed to have calmed down.

All this happened because one townie got jealous of someone that was going out with his ex-girlfriend. Now thats a sad person.

Kyz22 wrote:
> What do you call a townie with a Rolex
>
> A pickpocket

Since when do you keep your watch in your pocket....
Yeah, their not bad