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Finished! This one took a fair while to go through, due to many of you neglecting the 'keep it simple' rule, and writing Spielberg-esque epics. Still, they were all very good and it was tough to pick a singular winning post, but we had to, so we did.
WINNER - Meka Dragon, for his Love-A-Duck, Muddy-Funster, Mockney-Cockney, Gangster Crime Comedy Caper. Guy Ritchie will be beating down your door. You get to choose a DVD under £25 for your prize.
Again, congrats to everyone who entered, you're all winners (just winners in a metaphorical sense). Keep up the quality writing, crew!
Snuggly
-----------------------------------------------------------
Okay, here's an Extra Filmaday Prize, for all you film lovers out there. The best entry(ies) will win a DVD of their choice, under £25. All you have to do for this one is concoct a movie, featuring at least 5 of the UKchatforums.com regulars and at least one member of SR staff. This movie can be funny, gritty, tragic, hard-hitting, or just plain stoopid, but it must be chat related.
However, don't take this as a command to go and write an actual film, we just want a summary of what will happen, a synopsis, if you will. Keep it simple, keep it clever and keep it chat, and you're laughing. You must also use the following phrases:
"Get the monkey off the roof."
"How'd he fit it in there?"
"No, it's only the postman"
"If that's not my mother, then who is it?"
Okay, the rules are set, just don't post megalong scripts, as we won't read them (our eyes hurt). This one will end at midnight on Sunday November 18th, so you've got plenty of time to think up your blockbuster. Get to it, you Spielbergs.
WINNER - Meka Dragon, for his Love-A-Duck, Muddy-Funster, Mockney-Cockney, Gangster Crime Comedy Caper. Guy Ritchie will be beating down your door. You get to choose a DVD under £25 for your prize.
Again, congrats to everyone who entered, you're all winners (just winners in a metaphorical sense). Keep up the quality writing, crew!
Snuggly
-----------------------------------------------------------
Okay, here's an Extra Filmaday Prize, for all you film lovers out there. The best entry(ies) will win a DVD of their choice, under £25. All you have to do for this one is concoct a movie, featuring at least 5 of the UKchatforums.com regulars and at least one member of SR staff. This movie can be funny, gritty, tragic, hard-hitting, or just plain stoopid, but it must be chat related.
However, don't take this as a command to go and write an actual film, we just want a summary of what will happen, a synopsis, if you will. Keep it simple, keep it clever and keep it chat, and you're laughing. You must also use the following phrases:
"Get the monkey off the roof."
"How'd he fit it in there?"
"No, it's only the postman"
"If that's not my mother, then who is it?"
Okay, the rules are set, just don't post megalong scripts, as we won't read them (our eyes hurt). This one will end at midnight on Sunday November 18th, so you've got plenty of time to think up your blockbuster. Get to it, you Spielbergs.
Page:
Joe=RBS, by the way. Small mistake at the start there.
Mr Snuggly and his assistants, Tony and Joe, are pyschotic killers, intent on destroying society as we know it. To do this, Tony uses his special mind powers to infiltrate people's minds, and then tells them to commit terrible crimes, or other such horrific events. The only person who can stop them is Goatboy, a stealth assasin sent in by Special Forces CHEESE-MARKET, led by Commander pb. We start with Goatboy just outside the enemy base, which is...a Monkey Training Facility. Supposedly, Snuggly trains monkeys there in the art of bread-stick fighting.
Goatboy sneaks up to the front of the building...suddenly he hears a strange noise from above him. He looks up, and there on the roof, is...
"Get the monkey off the roof." Mr Snuggly said, irritated.
"Erm...sir, that's Tony." RBS replied.
"Really?? I thought it was one of those damn renegade ones again. What's he saying?"
"He says there's someone outside."
"Who is it?" He said in a panicked whisper, "be quiet though, we don't have a license to train these monkeys!"
"Tony says it's someone from CHEESE-MARKET."
Goatboy panicked, scared that he was going to be found out.
"No, it's only the postman," Goatboy said nervously through the letter box.
Snuggly went to the front door, while RBS went to print off some reports on the progress of the monkeys. The printer made a very horrible noise, and RBS took a look inside.
"Grix is in the printer again," he said, desperately trying to pull the estranged monkey out from the claws of the Lexmark Z12.
Snuggly sighed, and began to walk towards the printer when he noticed something in the corner of his eye...someone staring right at him...someone he knew. Snuggly turned, fear in his eyes.
"Mummy?!"
RBS ran over, looked at 'mummy,' and said, "No Snuggly, that's Turbonutter. You know, our favourite monkey? Remember? He can boil eggs, can't he? You haven't taken your pills again...damn, sometimes I feel as though I'm the only sane person around here..."
"If that's not my mother, then who is it?" Snuggly asked.
Turbonutter picked up a breadstick and began waving it around, trying to show off to his masters.
"OH MY GOD!!" Snuggly said, terrified. "SHE'S GOT HER SPANK-STICK!!"
Meanwhile, Goatboy has used a lockpick to get inside without being seen, and he creeped upstairs, trying to find the information he needed...
__________________________
Want to find out what happens? Go and see, "Breadstick Mania," at cinemas everywhere.
Goatboy sneaks up to the front of the building...suddenly he hears a strange noise from above him. He looks up, and there on the roof, is...
"Get the monkey off the roof." Mr Snuggly said, irritated.
"Erm...sir, that's Tony." RBS replied.
"Really?? I thought it was one of those damn renegade ones again. What's he saying?"
"He says there's someone outside."
"Who is it?" He said in a panicked whisper, "be quiet though, we don't have a license to train these monkeys!"
"Tony says it's someone from CHEESE-MARKET."
Goatboy panicked, scared that he was going to be found out.
"No, it's only the postman," Goatboy said nervously through the letter box.
Snuggly went to the front door, while RBS went to print off some reports on the progress of the monkeys. The printer made a very horrible noise, and RBS took a look inside.
"Grix is in the printer again," he said, desperately trying to pull the estranged monkey out from the claws of the Lexmark Z12.
Snuggly sighed, and began to walk towards the printer when he noticed something in the corner of his eye...someone staring right at him...someone he knew. Snuggly turned, fear in his eyes.
"Mummy?!"
RBS ran over, looked at 'mummy,' and said, "No Snuggly, that's Turbonutter. You know, our favourite monkey? Remember? He can boil eggs, can't he? You haven't taken your pills again...damn, sometimes I feel as though I'm the only sane person around here..."
"If that's not my mother, then who is it?" Snuggly asked.
Turbonutter picked up a breadstick and began waving it around, trying to show off to his masters.
"OH MY GOD!!" Snuggly said, terrified. "SHE'S GOT HER SPANK-STICK!!"
Meanwhile, Goatboy has used a lockpick to get inside without being seen, and he creeped upstairs, trying to find the information he needed...
__________________________
Want to find out what happens? Go and see, "Breadstick Mania," at cinemas everywhere.
" SR Dogs"
The plot - A gangster by the name of Tony-Boy is planning a big heist. He assembles a crack team to do this, but gives them code-names so they don't know each other.
Mr Heat, Miss Pink, Mr Net, Mr Wings, Mr Weed. ( I'll leave it to you to guess which SR regulars they are.)
The plan is to raid a bank. They get firearms to do this - A couple of shotguns. Tony-Boy gives the briefing.
" First of all, my mother will give a talk".
FAD-Tooth Snuggly whispered something to Tony-Boy
" What? Well, if that's not my mother, then who is it?"
FAD-Tooth Snuggly whispered again.
" Ah, it's Miss Pink."
Miss Pink briefs the boys on the banks security.
" It's got roof mounted monkey launchers. Stop laughing its true!"
The guys looked at each other, and then sidled out without laughing.
" Now boys," Says Big Loki. " You'll have to watch out for the Postman. He's the leader of a rival gang. Watch out for him."
" He's what? A super powered gang leader with a cunning nickname? Like Diamond Mick-Postman?" said Mr Heat curiously.
" No, it's just the Postman."
" Medium Dave?"
" For Christ's skae, Heat, it's just the Postman, OK? Now get out!"
They set out for the job.
" Afro-Headed Joe?"
" NO, JUST THE EFFING POSTMAN!"
The gang approached the bank. The roof mounted monkey launchers swivelled round.
" Get that monkey off the roof!" yelled FAD-Tooth Snuggly.
Miss Pink obliged by sniping away with her pink sniper rifle. The job goes off badly, as a cop by the name of Aliboy busts the job, by hiding in a filing cabinet.
" How'd he fit in there?"
" Um....He's an Indian mystic!" pronounced Mr Wings.
They looked at him. He shrugged.
"Why not?"
They shrugged again and ran as Aliboy unfolded himself and gave chase.
It all ends in a massive gun battle down a street.
" HAND OVER THE GAD's!" yelled Aliboy.
" NEVER! I'VE ONLY EVER WON FAD's!" yelled Mr Heat. Mr Weed glared patronisingly.
They all go out in a blaze of glory, of course. It's a Hollywood film.
The plot - A gangster by the name of Tony-Boy is planning a big heist. He assembles a crack team to do this, but gives them code-names so they don't know each other.
Mr Heat, Miss Pink, Mr Net, Mr Wings, Mr Weed. ( I'll leave it to you to guess which SR regulars they are.)
The plan is to raid a bank. They get firearms to do this - A couple of shotguns. Tony-Boy gives the briefing.
" First of all, my mother will give a talk".
FAD-Tooth Snuggly whispered something to Tony-Boy
" What? Well, if that's not my mother, then who is it?"
FAD-Tooth Snuggly whispered again.
" Ah, it's Miss Pink."
Miss Pink briefs the boys on the banks security.
" It's got roof mounted monkey launchers. Stop laughing its true!"
The guys looked at each other, and then sidled out without laughing.
" Now boys," Says Big Loki. " You'll have to watch out for the Postman. He's the leader of a rival gang. Watch out for him."
" He's what? A super powered gang leader with a cunning nickname? Like Diamond Mick-Postman?" said Mr Heat curiously.
" No, it's just the Postman."
" Medium Dave?"
" For Christ's skae, Heat, it's just the Postman, OK? Now get out!"
They set out for the job.
" Afro-Headed Joe?"
" NO, JUST THE EFFING POSTMAN!"
The gang approached the bank. The roof mounted monkey launchers swivelled round.
" Get that monkey off the roof!" yelled FAD-Tooth Snuggly.
Miss Pink obliged by sniping away with her pink sniper rifle. The job goes off badly, as a cop by the name of Aliboy busts the job, by hiding in a filing cabinet.
" How'd he fit in there?"
" Um....He's an Indian mystic!" pronounced Mr Wings.
They looked at him. He shrugged.
"Why not?"
They shrugged again and ran as Aliboy unfolded himself and gave chase.
It all ends in a massive gun battle down a street.
" HAND OVER THE GAD's!" yelled Aliboy.
" NEVER! I'VE ONLY EVER WON FAD's!" yelled Mr Heat. Mr Weed glared patronisingly.
They all go out in a blaze of glory, of course. It's a Hollywood film.
Stryke wrote:
> Are we allowed to post more than one attempt? I've been looking at mine and can
> think of a much better one.
Sure, why not.
> Are we allowed to post more than one attempt? I've been looking at mine and can
> think of a much better one.
Sure, why not.
Are we allowed to post more than one attempt? I've been looking at mine and can think of a much better one.
I call it cinema-verite.
Goatboy wrote:
Snuggly
> merely sits down and chuckles at Partridge catch-phrases whilst wishing his puns
> were noticed more.
Wow, that's almost eerily accurate.
Snuggly
> merely sits down and chuckles at Partridge catch-phrases whilst wishing his puns
> were noticed more.
Wow, that's almost eerily accurate.
ìHot Monkey Loveî
SCENE 1
Snuggly and Loki turn up for work Monday morning to find SR towers besieged by newbies chanting ìWhy didnít I win? When are you updating the winners list? One of usssssssÖ.One of usssssssî.
Dan2_K1 is leading the mob, waving a placard with many many words on and demanding ìStop smoking Goatboy or we shall argue for hours in the Life ForumÖhang on, is that the SR man with my expected GAD? No, itís only the postmanÖdamn it, now I must whinge like a big ponceî
Snuggly turns to Loki and sighs ìHere we go againî
ìScrew that, Iím bringing the justiceÖsimian style. Biggedy Bam!î Loki snarls and runs to the SR van, disappearing in back
SCENE 2
Goatboy, Grix, Meka and Wookiee are trying to patiently explain that someone didnít win that day because someone else was better to the angry mob. Wookiee and Goatboy take time out to argue about war and stuff, and they fall to the ground and wrestle like girls in front of the crowd, who watch without adding anything of value.
Lokiís voice occasionally chips into Wookiee and Goatboy with sage advice, mixed with mutterings of ìShow you all, show you who won that dayÖcímere Suzanne, we got work to doî.
Snuggly merely sits down and chuckles at Partridge catch-phrases whilst wishing his puns were noticed more.
The crowd is becoming dangerously unsettled now, demanding they should have won and it took ages to find out the weekend winners.
The SR van rocks from side to side as Loki can be heard saying ìDamn it Suzanne, put the mask on would you?î.
Goatboy and Wookiee dust themselves off and proceed to make jokes about bodily parts when they are interrupted by Grix with some crap about Nintendo not being for kids, whilst the crowd has taken to chanting ìGaystationÖGaystationî.
SCENE 3
With the herd surrounding the SR Van, the boys retreat to a safe distance and watch as Snuggly is swept under the feet of the stampeding posters. The crowd bang on the sides of the van and Lokiís angry ìWould you go away and let me have a coffee before you start screaming at me please people? Jesus, I do have other things to doÖyou know what? Iíve had it, taste justice, Suzanne style. Snooge!î
With that, the back door bursts open and Suzanne The Super-Ape bursts out wearing the Bluntman outfit Loki bought from E-Bay.
Suzanne rampages through the crowd, scattering them like bowling pins until most lay in a daze and trying to argue about whether the X-Box will be any good. Meka is dispensing wisdom on consoles to Grix, whilst Wookiee and Goatboy laugh at the marauding super-monkey dealing with the crowd Berserker style.
Loki climbs from the van and surveys the damage caused by his simian super-avenger and smiles, helping Snuggly to his feet. Snuggly had hidden himself in the wheel-well of the van to escape the bovine chants of angry non-GAD winners.
ìHowíd he fit in there?î asked Wookiee
ìNo idea, look, the monkey is throwing a one-off Ape Mentalî laughs Goatboy as Suzanne climbs the building to the SR Tower roof and proceeds to fling itís poop, Black and White style at the prone crowd.
SCENE 4
Loki has made his way to the roof to try and calm his super-ape down. She has become agitated at meting out monkey-justice, Wolverine Style and finds it hard to return to her placid primate nature.
Wookiee appears distraught and points up at the roof, ìLook, Loki is trying to touch my mumî
Goatboy looks up, ìYour mum?î
ìYes. Like me, she is hairy and gentle and appears to have climbed the roof of SR. Loki is touching her? I will pull his arms offî
ìThatís not your mum Wookiee, calm downî
ìWell if thatís not my mum, who is it?î
ìThatís Suzanne. Protector of Loki and all-round Super Apeî says Snuggly, heading into the building to begin the laborious task of moderating angry children.
Meka and Grix decide that their forbidden love can be spoken and they skip off to the Land of Nintendo, where they lived fluffily-cute for ever more.
Wookie and Goatboy carry on their petulant reasoning on war and head off to pull each otherís hair and scream like women.
Dan2_K1 realises that his complaining has been in vain, nobody cares and decides to turn over a new leaf, ìCome on Loki, I promise to not rant and spam about how unfair I think it is I never win anything. Get the monkey off the roof and you can spank me stupid like the naughty step-child I amî.
SCENE 5
More protestors gather outside to moan and sob about not getting free stuff.
The cycle begins again.
FADE OUT
THE END
SCENE 1
Snuggly and Loki turn up for work Monday morning to find SR towers besieged by newbies chanting ìWhy didnít I win? When are you updating the winners list? One of usssssssÖ.One of usssssssî.
Dan2_K1 is leading the mob, waving a placard with many many words on and demanding ìStop smoking Goatboy or we shall argue for hours in the Life ForumÖhang on, is that the SR man with my expected GAD? No, itís only the postmanÖdamn it, now I must whinge like a big ponceî
Snuggly turns to Loki and sighs ìHere we go againî
ìScrew that, Iím bringing the justiceÖsimian style. Biggedy Bam!î Loki snarls and runs to the SR van, disappearing in back
SCENE 2
Goatboy, Grix, Meka and Wookiee are trying to patiently explain that someone didnít win that day because someone else was better to the angry mob. Wookiee and Goatboy take time out to argue about war and stuff, and they fall to the ground and wrestle like girls in front of the crowd, who watch without adding anything of value.
Lokiís voice occasionally chips into Wookiee and Goatboy with sage advice, mixed with mutterings of ìShow you all, show you who won that dayÖcímere Suzanne, we got work to doî.
Snuggly merely sits down and chuckles at Partridge catch-phrases whilst wishing his puns were noticed more.
The crowd is becoming dangerously unsettled now, demanding they should have won and it took ages to find out the weekend winners.
The SR van rocks from side to side as Loki can be heard saying ìDamn it Suzanne, put the mask on would you?î.
Goatboy and Wookiee dust themselves off and proceed to make jokes about bodily parts when they are interrupted by Grix with some crap about Nintendo not being for kids, whilst the crowd has taken to chanting ìGaystationÖGaystationî.
SCENE 3
With the herd surrounding the SR Van, the boys retreat to a safe distance and watch as Snuggly is swept under the feet of the stampeding posters. The crowd bang on the sides of the van and Lokiís angry ìWould you go away and let me have a coffee before you start screaming at me please people? Jesus, I do have other things to doÖyou know what? Iíve had it, taste justice, Suzanne style. Snooge!î
With that, the back door bursts open and Suzanne The Super-Ape bursts out wearing the Bluntman outfit Loki bought from E-Bay.
Suzanne rampages through the crowd, scattering them like bowling pins until most lay in a daze and trying to argue about whether the X-Box will be any good. Meka is dispensing wisdom on consoles to Grix, whilst Wookiee and Goatboy laugh at the marauding super-monkey dealing with the crowd Berserker style.
Loki climbs from the van and surveys the damage caused by his simian super-avenger and smiles, helping Snuggly to his feet. Snuggly had hidden himself in the wheel-well of the van to escape the bovine chants of angry non-GAD winners.
ìHowíd he fit in there?î asked Wookiee
ìNo idea, look, the monkey is throwing a one-off Ape Mentalî laughs Goatboy as Suzanne climbs the building to the SR Tower roof and proceeds to fling itís poop, Black and White style at the prone crowd.
SCENE 4
Loki has made his way to the roof to try and calm his super-ape down. She has become agitated at meting out monkey-justice, Wolverine Style and finds it hard to return to her placid primate nature.
Wookiee appears distraught and points up at the roof, ìLook, Loki is trying to touch my mumî
Goatboy looks up, ìYour mum?î
ìYes. Like me, she is hairy and gentle and appears to have climbed the roof of SR. Loki is touching her? I will pull his arms offî
ìThatís not your mum Wookiee, calm downî
ìWell if thatís not my mum, who is it?î
ìThatís Suzanne. Protector of Loki and all-round Super Apeî says Snuggly, heading into the building to begin the laborious task of moderating angry children.
Meka and Grix decide that their forbidden love can be spoken and they skip off to the Land of Nintendo, where they lived fluffily-cute for ever more.
Wookie and Goatboy carry on their petulant reasoning on war and head off to pull each otherís hair and scream like women.
Dan2_K1 realises that his complaining has been in vain, nobody cares and decides to turn over a new leaf, ìCome on Loki, I promise to not rant and spam about how unfair I think it is I never win anything. Get the monkey off the roof and you can spank me stupid like the naughty step-child I amî.
SCENE 5
More protestors gather outside to moan and sob about not getting free stuff.
The cycle begins again.
FADE OUT
THE END
This is the busiest this forum has ever been.
Ever.
Ever.
At last an Extra FAD! I'm so happy. I always fail dismally at extra GAD's. And this one's fun too. I'll probably enter antoher one sometime.
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