Viewing Thread:
"EXTRA FILMADAY PRIZE - Movie topic"

Finished! This one took a fair while to go through, due to many of you neglecting the 'keep it simple' rule, and writing Spielberg-esque epics. Still, they were all very good and it was tough to pick a singular winning post, but we had to, so we did.

WINNER - Meka Dragon, for his Love-A-Duck, Muddy-Funster, Mockney-Cockney, Gangster Crime Comedy Caper. Guy Ritchie will be beating down your door. You get to choose a DVD under £25 for your prize.

Again, congrats to everyone who entered, you're all winners (just winners in a metaphorical sense). Keep up the quality writing, crew!

Snuggly

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Okay, here's an Extra Filmaday Prize, for all you film lovers out there. The best entry(ies) will win a DVD of their choice, under £25. All you have to do for this one is concoct a movie, featuring at least 5 of the UKchatforums.com regulars and at least one member of SR staff. This movie can be funny, gritty, tragic, hard-hitting, or just plain stoopid, but it must be chat related.

However, don't take this as a command to go and write an actual film, we just want a summary of what will happen, a synopsis, if you will. Keep it simple, keep it clever and keep it chat, and you're laughing. You must also use the following phrases:

"Get the monkey off the roof."
"How'd he fit it in there?"
"No, it's only the postman"
"If that's not my mother, then who is it?"

Okay, the rules are set, just don't post megalong scripts, as we won't read them (our eyes hurt). This one will end at midnight on Sunday November 18th, so you've got plenty of time to think up your blockbuster. Get to it, you Spielbergs.

This is being judged now, so sit tight and I'll announce the winner soon.

*ding!* *ding!*
times up.
now lets let the staff add up the points........

Space Cowboy Presents.

King for a Day.

Starring:
Cast –
Moriano Di Francesco : ‘Meka Dragon’
Capello Vicenzo : ‘Rakuga’
Dexter : ‘Ant’
Jennifer Vicenzo : 'Mystique'
Don Vicenzo : ‘Alistair Gray’
Don Francesco : ‘The Godfather’


Synopsis – The Di Francesco’s and Vicenzo’s are Gangster rivals both based in different areas of America. The Francesco’s in New York, and the Vicenzo’s in Las Vegas. But when Don Vicenzo invests in a casino in Las Vegas and the family decides to move, they are invading forbidden territory. The Son of Henry Vicenzo, Moriano unknowingly meets Capello, son of Don Francesco at a Jazz Club in downtown New York.Moriano is accompanied by the orphan Dexter, his soul mate and guardian angel sent at the behest of his father.While being drunk Capello remarks "How'd he fit it in there?" after seeing Dirk Diggler's prized possession at the end of 'Boogie Nights' at Dexter's apartment.

After engaging in conversation for a while Capello explains how his father an important business man in Las Vegas was going to take care of a minor problem tonight. He thinks nothing of it. When he returns home he finds his family slain.He can't find his mother but see's another woman dead in the arms of his father "If that's not my mother, then who is it?".

Capello’s words echoes back to him and they organise to meet in a public restaurant in Las Vegas. A shoot out takes place between Capello and his men, and Dexter and Moriano. Dexter is gunned down while dying he screams "Get the monkey off the roof." Capello is wounded, Moriano escapes. He flees to Italy to reflect.

10 Years Later.

Physically changed and emotionally tortured he returns to America to carry out his plan. Through contacts he meets Don Vicenzo and quickly rises through the ranks doing a variety of ‘jobs’. He expresses his loyalty to the Don and works alongside Capello as his right hand man. He kills the mailman assassin and quotes while killing, "No, it's only the postman". The Francesco’s do not realise who he is. He marries Jennifer Don Vicenzo’s daughter and proves to be a worthy successor the Don. He forms a loyal relationship with Capello. While Don Vicenzo is on his deathbed he carefully murders him and later Capello allowing him to rule the organisation. He has a son which he names Henry after his father.


THE END.

WRITTEN, DIRECTED, PRODUCED BY SPACE COWBOY.

damn missed a bitThe Notable Hunter Movie

Starring:

Dringo as himself
Edgy as himeself
Ant
Grix Thraves
FM
pb
Meka Dragon
Sheepy
er-no
Sniper
Turbonutter
Wookiee Monster
Bonus
Tony
Ali

Tony hires Dringo to destroy whoever has been eating his suger and peeing on his floor, Ant the Notable is discovered as the culprit. Enter a world of corruption and violence as Dringo adn hsi partner Edgy go on the hunt for Ant's Army only to realize this goes deep into the heart of the Notable Alliance and into the heart of SR itself.

After chasing Ant out of Tony's Mansion Dringo watches him dissapear into a samll hole in the ground as he gets closer he gets dragged down himself and discovers this isn't normal. Inside lies a huge complex of people working, on one side is a group of slaves lead by evil slave masers Turbonutter and Bonus. Dringo confronts Turbonutter and Bonus and Bonus gets killed falling to the rocks below Turbonutter joins Dringo on his quest to discover the secrets in this underground lair and hunts for Ant himself.

Every last Notable makes an appearence in this story trying to prevent Dringo reaching the centre one incident see's er-no hurl a huge boulder at Dringo and Dringo and Turbonutter make a run for it. When Dringo finally reaches the end every last Notable is waiting, the Notables use their evil gold power to crush the Turbonutter and Dringo produces his shotguns when all of a sudden Ali appears. Ali's explains his plan to destroy Tony and take control of the mighty SR with his Army and shortly hits Dringo with an Energy blast. Enter Edgy Dringo's heroic partner who scares away the Notables and chops the head off of Ali. All seems fine until the Digimon music appears and Ali morphs into Mr. Snuggly after an epic battle of strengths Dringo and Edgy overpower Mr. Snuggly who very dazed mutters
"Get the monkey off the roof."
"How'd he fit it in there?"
"No, it's only the postman"
"If that's not my mother, then who is it?"
and Tony realizing he is dillusional sentances him to a year of not playing on GTA3.

Now wasn't that brilliant ;)

The Notable Hunter Movie

Starring:

Dringo as himself
Edgy as himeself
Ant
Grix Thraves
FM
pb
Meka Dragon
Sheepy
er-no
Sniper
Turbonutter
Wookiee Monster
Bonus
Tony
Ali

Tony hires Dringo to destroy whoever has been eating his suger and peeing on his floor, Ant the Notable is discovered as the culprit. Enter a world of corruption and violence as Dringo adn hsi partner Edgy go on the hunt for Ant's Army only to realize this goes deep into the heart of the Notable Alliance and into the heart of SR itself.

After chasing Ant out of Tony's Mansion Dringo watches him dissapear into a samll hole in the ground as he gets closer he gets dragged down himself and discovers this isn't normal. Inside lies a huge complex of people working, on one side is a group of slaves lead by evil slave masers Turbonutter and Bonus. Dringo confronts Turbonutter and Bonus and Bonus gets killed falling to the rocks below Turbonutter joins Dringo on his quest to discover the secrets in this underground lair and hunts for Ant himself.

Every last Notable makes an appearence in this story trying to prevent Dringo reaching the centre one incident see's er-no hurl a huge boulder at Dringo and Dringo and Turbonutter make a run for it. When Dringo finally reaches the end every last Notable is waiting, the Notables use their evil gold power to crush the Turbonutter and Dringo produces his shotguns when all of a sudden Ali appears. Ali's explains his plan to destroy Tony and take control of the mighty SR with his Army and shortly hits Dringo with an Energy blast. Enter Edgy Dringo's heroic partner who scares away the Notables and chops the head off of Ali. All seems fine until the Digimon music appears and Ali morphs into Mr. Snuggly after an epic battle of strengths Dringo and Edgy ooverpower Mr. Snuggly and Tony sentances him to a year of not playing on GTA3.

Now wasn't that brilliant ;)

The Matrix Two and a Half

Starring:

Ant as Morbidus
Goatboy as Neomonkey/Thomas Ape Anderson
Mystique as Trinitique
Mr Snuggly Agent SR
Grix Thraves as the Oracle
Sniper as a Slow-motion bullet
Webmaster as Himself

Synopsis: After defeating the Agents in the first two movies, Neomonkey has everything pretty much sewn up and goes back to posting on SR Chatforums. However, Trinitique discovers that in fact SR Chatforums are in fact a ruse designed by Agent SR to lull unwitting posters into a false sense of well being with the gaming world, when in relity nothing is really selling and SR need all the marketing knowledge they can squeeze out of the posters. She phones Neomonkey and wakes him up after he's in the middle of a bad dream so he wakes up screaming "Get the monkey off the roof!" to tell him all of this.

They rush off to visit the Oracle to confirm this theory, only to find out that taxis to Pembroke cost a fortune from where they are, so they phone him instead. The Oracle advises them to visit Morbidus, who is currently residing in Zion, a city deep under the earth. They need a password to get in, which the Oracle advises is the guards at Zion's entrance saying "If that's not my mother, then who is it?" to which Neomonkey and Trinitique have to reply "No, it's only the postman." The Oracle then goes back to baking cookies and mending vases, the main industries in his country of origin.

Morbidus never really recovered from his torture scene in the original Matrix, and spends his entire days sitting in an empty room eating bags of sugar and watching WWF matches.
Trinitique and Neomonkey visit him. During this visit Morbidus offers Neomonkey the choice of a red pill or a blue pill. According to Morbidus the red pill allows Neomonkey to go back to his usual posting, the blue pill contains all the truth about how SR have taken over posters' minds in the gaming community.

Neomonkey takes the blue pill after which Trinitique and Morbidus strap him into a chair and open his eyes to the world. He then goes thru an intensive training period where he discovers the joys of detox, subversive typing, thinly disguised rhetoric and, of course, another kung fu scene.

SR fight back and capture Morbidus, taking him to SR Towers for interrogation, whilst Trinitique and Neomonkey phone up the Oracle again and order guns, lots of guns, in order to storm SR Towers and rescue him. A small parcel arrives a few days later containing an arsenal fit for a small army, at which Trinitique exclaims "How'd he fit it in there?" at which point Neomonkey turns to camera, winks, and says "Oooo-eeerr."

They then storm SR Towers with Nina's "99 Red Balloons" blasting out on the soundtrack, have a 20 minute kung fu fight with Agent SR himself on the top floor, and we see a split second shot of Sniper flying past as a slow motion bullet. (This scene will later be edited out, children may be watching).

Finally they breach the main computer rooms of the building, battle their way through the smoky haze and cigarette ash, and confront The Webmaster. Neomonkey and The Webmaster then engage in a philosophical debate on the ethics of unpaid underage workforces in today's game marketing industry, which Neomonkey narrowly wins by playing his 'monkey' trump. (Nice plot twist at the end there, if I may say so.)

The world is once again saved, and everyone goes back to happily posting console wars topics without the fear of ever actually having to 'think' again.

Quest for Sanity

Starring Goatboy

Also featuring Tony, Ant, Grix Thraves, Meka Dragon and Slaveunit.

A young Goatboy came through the door to see a horrific sight, a sight that would cripple him emotionally. He saw what looked like a woman and he reasoned that it was his mother. A male voice greeted young Goatboy. He was scared. He said ìIF THAT IS NOT MY MOTHER, THEN WHO IS IT?î

The woman turned round and he found out that it was his father! Goatboy fell into a deep shock and was never the same again. The problems started and he eventually lost his grip on sanity. This lead to Goatboy being put in a mental institution. But a monthly outing brought tragedy. A bus accident left Goatboy in a coma and his quest for sanity began.

Inside the coma, Goatboy saw images and people that represented parts of his mind. The quest begins with Goatboy lying on a sofa in his house. A knocking could be heard at the door. ìOpen up! Itís important!î was the cry. Goatboy slowly opened the door, reasoning that he was in trouble. NO, ITíS ONLY THE POSTMAN. He delivered a message. ìRally your army and fight for your freedom!î

Goatboy needed a leader and selected Tony to lead his army into battle. Goatboy remembered his monkey army. They arrived at a house. Tony said ìGET THE MONKEY OFF THE ROOF! We need as many as we can find!î

Looking in the house, they discovered that it was infested with ants. The lead ant, named Ant funnily enough, was very helpful. Ant was willing to fight alongside the Monkey army with his massive Ant army.

Ant handed Goatboy a very small box. Goatboy opened it and inside was Grix Thraves! Goatboy was amazed. ìHOWíD HE FIT IN THERE?î Goatboy asked Tony. Ant explained that Grix represented his trapped sanity but he would only be released when the evil was removed. Immediately after those words, an object swooped from the sky and snatched the box. It was Meka Dragon and his slave called Slaveunit!

The armies followed them and then the war began.....

The end is opened ended, it could end either way.

"The Pub Heist" (American Title: "Pub Trouble")

Ant, Er-No, Grix Thraves, Pb and Goatboy are film stars. The film opens with them finishing their shoot for a new commercial, advertising "Gay Gear". They decide to take a detour - to the pub.

They walk in and greet the Bartender (Tony) and order some Bluthermakers. Whilst they are waiting for their order, a loud crash is heard and the door swings open hard. Nobody is there, until they look down and see a monkey, who is armed, with a banana gun.

"This is a stick up", proclaims the monkey. All of the drinkers in the pub put their hands in the air, as the monkey holds up the bar. The people who live upstairs in the pub ring the police and they swiftly arrive on the scene.

"I've got to get out of here", announces the monkey. He jumps around everywhere.

"Get the monkey off the roof", asks the bartender, as the monkey shoots all over the place.

Eventually, he climbs into one of the beer kegs. The police kick down the door and run in.

"Ok guys, clean it up, it was a hoax", states on of the policemen.

"No, it wa...", before the bartender can finish, the policeman cuts in with;

"Mmm, I'm thirsty, how about a beer before we go" says the policeman.

"But sir..."

The bartender pours out the beer, and with it, comes a red, hairy substance.

"What the hell is this!?" asks the angry policeman.

"That, is the monkey"

"How'd he fit it in there?"

Before he can respond, there is a knock at the door.

"I'm a trained policeman, let me handle this"

"No, it's only the postman"

The postman walks in.

"Could I please see Tony the bartender?", asks the Postman.

The postman takes Tony by the arm to the back of the room. The postman removes his hat and pulls of what appears to be a wig.

"Mum! What are you doing here?", asks Tony.

"I heard that this place was held up, so I came to check on you", replies his mother.

"Tony, is that your mother!?", asks the policeman

"If that's not my mother, then who is it?"

Tony pulls at her hair and surprisingly, it comes off and a hairy, black forhead is shown. Then, the entire body collapses to the floor.

"Huh?"

A stir immerges from under the clothes and a furry finger can be seen among the clothes. Then, a monkey emerges from under the clothes and walks off into the night.

The End.

Man, my eyes hurt. U guys are obsessed wit monkeys, and lets face it, who aint?? lol

Love-A-Duck, Muddy-Funster, Mockney-Cockney, Gangster Crime Comedy Caper (working title)

Four men are sitting at a table playing poker, we get captions under their faces, as the camera freezes for a second on each person, whilst a song is playing that will help sell many, many copies of the soundtrack. Possibly Republica, or some other such sucky band.

We have: Grix Thraves, laughing to himself as he looks at his cards.

Goatboy, taking a drag on his cigarette, with a monkey sitting on his shoulder.

Rastabillyskank, taking a swig from a bottle of beer.

Your Honour, leaning back in his chair a little too far, it falls over, with the camera freezing just before it goes, then resuming to see him crash to the ground, and everyone pointing and laughing.

We cut to a scene later in the film with Goatboy telling the lads that he has a plan - a plan for a bit of a gangster crime caper, no doubt, with elements of comedy.

We learn that the boys intend to rob SR Towers, in order to keep Sting's pub in business, or something else daft, maybe in an attempt to ressurect the careers of Chas and Dave.

Many scenes pass in which many comical things happen, including I Am The Tarrant appearing to tell the story of the postman that does the local round, and the time he heard that some lads had loads of money, so he went and murdered them, and stole the money, only no one could prove that it was him.

Later on the boys set off on their gangster-comedy crime caper, dressed in black, with some music playing, probably a dance tune, that will then live in the charts for many, many months, and feature on ads for DIY superstores.

They arrive at the door. Grix pulls a crowbar out of a tiny bag he is carrying "How'd he fit it in there?" asks Your Honour, but no one knows or cares.

The lads sneak around SR Towers, looking for the money, talking Cockney, making joks and stuff. They are about to get to the vault when they hear footsteps.

They look around to see Tony is patrolling the area!

They manage to avoid him, with many highly comical close calls, including Tony hearing noises and scratching his head.

Anyway, the boys get the money, and are about to leave, when Goatboys monkey runs from his shoulder, and out of a window, up onto the roof. (Note: Until this point in the movie the monkey hasn't moved at all, in fact, a plastic prop has been used, making it's running away a really shocking event in the movie.

"Get the monkey off the roof!" Says Rastabillyskank.

So further comedy capers follow, with Goatboy swearing alot, because the writer has realised that this ganster movie hasn't yet reached the minimum allowance for bad language in a gangster movie.

Anyway, they get the money, and head back to Your Honours house.

They sleep.

The next morning (a Sunday) there's a knock at the door.

"Don't worry, that's probably just my mother, she said she'd pop round" says YH.

Grix looks out of the window, and says "But it looks like a bloke from here..."

"If that's not my mother, then who is it?" asks YH, pointing at Rastabillyskank, sending him to get the door.

"Is is Tony?" Asks Grix.

"No, it's only the postman" says Rastabillyskank.

We get a brief flashback of I Am The Tarrant's postman money stealing horror story, RBS screams, with hands beside face (much like Macauley Culkin in the Home Alone movies (well, 1 7 2, he wasn't in 3)).

Goatboy grabs the fashiionable sprts bag (well it will be after this is released) and the boys all make a run for it. Past a canal, under a bridge, through a park, until they finally reach Grix's house. Whilst they run, the postie chases, and another soundtrack selling song plays, a rinky-dink number much like Supergrass' Alright, only by some really naff band, that will become huge next year.

"We can't run forever" says Goatboy, and they wait fo rthe postie to arrive.

"Special delivery for mister Your Honour" says the postman.

YH nervously takes an envelope, and the postie leaves.

"Bloody hell!" says YH "I've won a million on the Premium Bonds!"

The lads whoop and cheer for a bit, before Rastabillyskank says "So we went through all that last night for nothing?"

Goatboy replies "No lads, I've got big plans for this!"

More hip music plays as we show brief scenes featuring all of the main characters in the movie, we see what the boys did with their money, we see Sting n his packed bar, as Chas and Dave play away, we see I Am The Tarrent getting a job as a postman, and finally we see Tony banging his fists on a table, swearing revenge. (Ready for a possible sequel?)