Viewing Thread:
"Why are you so crap?"

At some games, you suck.
It's a given, scientifically proven and there's nothing you can do about it.

I have opposable thumbs, I can manipulate the pad and have the reflexes of a ninja-cat after 21 redbulls.
So why do I suck at certain games?
I bought Tony Hawks 2, and I have the ability of my nan on a skateboard.
Why?

It's not that I can't hold the pad, or I mash the buttons with my face.
My mate can pull off stupid moves, getting 12,000 scores for single jumps.
I smash into the floor and try to use my face to break windows.
This is not right.
I can play strategy games with the best of them, and I own FPS games.
But it's just those ones that require the dexterity of a Yogi Master that fail me.

I sit and sulk whilst my mate obviously lies about the controls, because he's The Fonz on a skateboard, whilst I am more like a mannequin strapped on for fun.
I know he lies about the moves, he just doesn't want me to beat him.
It's not that I suck, it's that he lies.

Obviously.

So, Hooplah, you cur:
I shall teach myself the moves and then you belong to me.
(Can you just show me once more how to do that twist jump thing please?)

Bah, stupid pad twisty games.
Street Fighter? Combo moves requiring semi-circles and 3 buttons to push to get them to work?
If I had that time and ability, I'd learn the moves myself and fight evil-doers.
But nooooo, I sit and watch 7yr olds kick my face off whilst I wrestle with the pad and swear loudly before lighting a cigarette and refusing to talk to anyone for 2 minutes.

Give me games I can play please, not games that make me look stupid.
Thank you for listening.

I am brilliant at management games,a nd simulation ones. I am useless at any sport game and even worse with FPS'ers except for R6 which I am very good at. But I think that is more stratagy than FPS!

I prefer games where you cant die, because I always depresses me when I die in games!!!!!

seeyas

*sobs*

I thought I was alone.

Rejoice brothers in your ineptitude in certain genres.
It's ok to be bad.
And Your Honour..I feel your pain of RTS "I'm still picking berries and using sticks for clubs, why is the opponent nuking me from orbit?"

It's not fair dammit!
As a gamer, I demand games that allow to compete fairly.
Button Mashing is a bad thing.
Combos smoke the pony.

donught monster wrote:
> Grix Thraves wrote:
> I suck badly at Goldeneye/Perfect Dark, but I'm pretty
> good at Unreal Tournament
> and other PC fps.

I suck at driving games,
> usually, too. This is because I am
> crap.

i'm best at footy games

Are you?

Not much point in quoting me then, was there?

I'm really bad at most games that need a brain to operate, but somehow I still manage to beat my mates which makes me happy.

I suck at RPGs like final fantasy, all that turn based comat drives me mad.

Grix Thraves wrote:
> I suck badly at Goldeneye/Perfect Dark, but I'm pretty good at Unreal Tournament
> and other PC fps.

I suck at driving games, usually, too. This is because I am
> crap.

i'm best at footy games

Ahh, weaknesses and strong points to do with certain game genres, eh?

I'd have to say that I suck big time at strategy games...but that's about it, to be honest.

I love FPS, RPGs, Racing etc etc...and find that I am very good at them.

I'm quite dodgey at the old beat-em-ups, mind, and find that I usually stay at about the 'average' level.

There you go.

Shocky.

I suck badly at Goldeneye/Perfect Dark, but I'm pretty good at Unreal Tournament and other PC fps.

I suck at driving games, usually, too. This is because I am crap.

I recon I'm not too shabby at most games, exept FPS. Just cannot do them.

well i've completed most of the games i've got like Orcarina of time and Goldeneye and a few others.