Viewing Thread:
"Why are you so crap?"

At some games, you suck.
It's a given, scientifically proven and there's nothing you can do about it.

I have opposable thumbs, I can manipulate the pad and have the reflexes of a ninja-cat after 21 redbulls.
So why do I suck at certain games?
I bought Tony Hawks 2, and I have the ability of my nan on a skateboard.
Why?

It's not that I can't hold the pad, or I mash the buttons with my face.
My mate can pull off stupid moves, getting 12,000 scores for single jumps.
I smash into the floor and try to use my face to break windows.
This is not right.
I can play strategy games with the best of them, and I own FPS games.
But it's just those ones that require the dexterity of a Yogi Master that fail me.

I sit and sulk whilst my mate obviously lies about the controls, because he's The Fonz on a skateboard, whilst I am more like a mannequin strapped on for fun.
I know he lies about the moves, he just doesn't want me to beat him.
It's not that I suck, it's that he lies.

Obviously.

So, Hooplah, you cur:
I shall teach myself the moves and then you belong to me.
(Can you just show me once more how to do that twist jump thing please?)

Bah, stupid pad twisty games.
Street Fighter? Combo moves requiring semi-circles and 3 buttons to push to get them to work?
If I had that time and ability, I'd learn the moves myself and fight evil-doers.
But nooooo, I sit and watch 7yr olds kick my face off whilst I wrestle with the pad and swear loudly before lighting a cigarette and refusing to talk to anyone for 2 minutes.

Give me games I can play please, not games that make me look stupid.
Thank you for listening.

Im useless at Mario Kart.

Well erm.. Lemmings is pretty easy.

No no no. Its all about reading the instructions. READ THEM :o)

oh, my ears. my ears!

RPG's rule.

end.

Ah, the filmaday win.

Yep, but that's being kept to one side for whoever wins the "Log in The Creek" competition to be held in a couple of weeks.

What? You forgot about that?
Good job I'm honest or I'd claim that lil' puppy and swan off with it.

You see how good I am to you mooks?

Aperrson wrote:
> Goatboy just thought I would tell you that you won a prize in August and have
> not claimed yet. Don't know whether you knew this or not but hey you know now

Eh?
For what?

Goatboy just thought I would tell you that you won a prize in August and have not claimed yet. Don't know whether you knew this or not but hey you know now

Goatboy just thought I would tell you that you won a prize in August

I prefer FF to Zelda by far.

I can't stand the Final Fantasy style RPGs they take themselves too seriously, all that turnbased combat nonsense. But I do like Zelda games there usually quite good.

Don't you beard me, Yahel.