Viewing Thread:
"Why are you so crap?"

At some games, you suck.
It's a given, scientifically proven and there's nothing you can do about it.

I have opposable thumbs, I can manipulate the pad and have the reflexes of a ninja-cat after 21 redbulls.
So why do I suck at certain games?
I bought Tony Hawks 2, and I have the ability of my nan on a skateboard.
Why?

It's not that I can't hold the pad, or I mash the buttons with my face.
My mate can pull off stupid moves, getting 12,000 scores for single jumps.
I smash into the floor and try to use my face to break windows.
This is not right.
I can play strategy games with the best of them, and I own FPS games.
But it's just those ones that require the dexterity of a Yogi Master that fail me.

I sit and sulk whilst my mate obviously lies about the controls, because he's The Fonz on a skateboard, whilst I am more like a mannequin strapped on for fun.
I know he lies about the moves, he just doesn't want me to beat him.
It's not that I suck, it's that he lies.

Obviously.

So, Hooplah, you cur:
I shall teach myself the moves and then you belong to me.
(Can you just show me once more how to do that twist jump thing please?)

Bah, stupid pad twisty games.
Street Fighter? Combo moves requiring semi-circles and 3 buttons to push to get them to work?
If I had that time and ability, I'd learn the moves myself and fight evil-doers.
But nooooo, I sit and watch 7yr olds kick my face off whilst I wrestle with the pad and swear loudly before lighting a cigarette and refusing to talk to anyone for 2 minutes.

Give me games I can play please, not games that make me look stupid.
Thank you for listening.

I think to be an RPG games player you have to be born with great patience, without this very important aspect you will be stuck trying to play without talking to anyone. Thus getting no clues/items that could be vital to progressing in your quest.

Beard.

I think I hate most RPG's too.

However... is Deus Ex an RPG? That's good.

And Skies of Arcadia still being the best game ever, and that's an RPG.

Add RPG to my list.

It's because I cant get my head into that world and it's rules.

I'm at a gate, guarded by an old man.
He wont let me past until I fetch him some thing from a wizard in a ditch.
I have a sword.
I wish to smack him with my sword and pass by.

But noooooo,I have to go on an endless quest for pointless items held by mystical-this and that.
My brain no work good for games with that stuff.

I can't figure out what to do with the stick of thwangmorton that I got from the tree-men of Sqwajree, so I wander about aimlessly until I start to cry like a girl and attempt to force my head into the disc-drive.

goatboy the answer to your problems is simple.....CHEAT!! that is what I do if I am crap at a game (or am bored with it).

i can do every game with ease.

(except football ones, i can never select the right player)

Ant wrote:

"Lol, that's just your opinion I'm afraid."

I can't believe it's taken you a year and a half to realise that...

Stryke wrote:
GT3? Boring realism.

Lol, that's just your opinion I'm afraid.

Anyone else find it highly amusing that after a few posts, things change from "I'm crap at...." to "I rule at....."?

So, for my two cents, I'm lame at management games. I can't be fussed to think about tactics and suchlike, and whether my rightback with two left feet might be better off in central midfield. As a result, I tend to sink fast down the league.

I think I'm reasonable at everything else. I should be, seeing as I've had about 13 years of practice now.

I rule at RPG's, especially both Diablos, and strategy like C and C. And sure, I can shoot lots of big things with ugly faces running at me, and move stupid cars round corners but those games are no fun so I ignore them and pretend thats why I can't play them.

GT3? Boring realism. CS? (Sorry TBN) Waste of time.