Viewing Thread:
"Why are you so crap?"

At some games, you suck.
It's a given, scientifically proven and there's nothing you can do about it.

I have opposable thumbs, I can manipulate the pad and have the reflexes of a ninja-cat after 21 redbulls.
So why do I suck at certain games?
I bought Tony Hawks 2, and I have the ability of my nan on a skateboard.
Why?

It's not that I can't hold the pad, or I mash the buttons with my face.
My mate can pull off stupid moves, getting 12,000 scores for single jumps.
I smash into the floor and try to use my face to break windows.
This is not right.
I can play strategy games with the best of them, and I own FPS games.
But it's just those ones that require the dexterity of a Yogi Master that fail me.

I sit and sulk whilst my mate obviously lies about the controls, because he's The Fonz on a skateboard, whilst I am more like a mannequin strapped on for fun.
I know he lies about the moves, he just doesn't want me to beat him.
It's not that I suck, it's that he lies.

Obviously.

So, Hooplah, you cur:
I shall teach myself the moves and then you belong to me.
(Can you just show me once more how to do that twist jump thing please?)

Bah, stupid pad twisty games.
Street Fighter? Combo moves requiring semi-circles and 3 buttons to push to get them to work?
If I had that time and ability, I'd learn the moves myself and fight evil-doers.
But nooooo, I sit and watch 7yr olds kick my face off whilst I wrestle with the pad and swear loudly before lighting a cigarette and refusing to talk to anyone for 2 minutes.

Give me games I can play please, not games that make me look stupid.
Thank you for listening.

At some games, you suck.
It's a given, scientifically proven and there's nothing you can do about it.

I have opposable thumbs, I can manipulate the pad and have the reflexes of a ninja-cat after 21 redbulls.
So why do I suck at certain games?
I bought Tony Hawks 2, and I have the ability of my nan on a skateboard.
Why?

It's not that I can't hold the pad, or I mash the buttons with my face.
My mate can pull off stupid moves, getting 12,000 scores for single jumps.
I smash into the floor and try to use my face to break windows.
This is not right.
I can play strategy games with the best of them, and I own FPS games.
But it's just those ones that require the dexterity of a Yogi Master that fail me.

I sit and sulk whilst my mate obviously lies about the controls, because he's The Fonz on a skateboard, whilst I am more like a mannequin strapped on for fun.
I know he lies about the moves, he just doesn't want me to beat him.
It's not that I suck, it's that he lies.

Obviously.

So, Hooplah, you cur:
I shall teach myself the moves and then you belong to me.
(Can you just show me once more how to do that twist jump thing please?)

Bah, stupid pad twisty games.
Street Fighter? Combo moves requiring semi-circles and 3 buttons to push to get them to work?
If I had that time and ability, I'd learn the moves myself and fight evil-doers.
But nooooo, I sit and watch 7yr olds kick my face off whilst I wrestle with the pad and swear loudly before lighting a cigarette and refusing to talk to anyone for 2 minutes.

Give me games I can play please, not games that make me look stupid.
Thank you for listening.

Hold R2 while jabbing right on the D pad and hitting sqaure and Holding circle in small intervals while pointing the d pad in different directions whil attempting to finis the trick before you land to perform a super twist mc twist.

You got that? :D

Also I know wat you mean about games only ave I been beaten at a fighting game that my friend then says oh by the way if you press this button it's his power move.

Why do we do this? Why must we have to win and use sly tactics to do so?

Oh and I have no ability whatsoever in F1 games, im usless at those.

Ah-ha!

I'm great at F1 games, but completely useless at RTS's.

It seems by the time I've sent my bloke off to cut down trees or collect ore or whatever, the computer has progressed to Ninja-Kick-Your-Ass-In-Two-Seconds-Age. And does just that.

So I cry and turn it off.

well i've completed most of the games i've got like Orcarina of time and Goldeneye and a few others.

I recon I'm not too shabby at most games, exept FPS. Just cannot do them.

I suck badly at Goldeneye/Perfect Dark, but I'm pretty good at Unreal Tournament and other PC fps.

I suck at driving games, usually, too. This is because I am crap.

Ahh, weaknesses and strong points to do with certain game genres, eh?

I'd have to say that I suck big time at strategy games...but that's about it, to be honest.

I love FPS, RPGs, Racing etc etc...and find that I am very good at them.

I'm quite dodgey at the old beat-em-ups, mind, and find that I usually stay at about the 'average' level.

There you go.

Shocky.

Grix Thraves wrote:
> I suck badly at Goldeneye/Perfect Dark, but I'm pretty good at Unreal Tournament
> and other PC fps.

I suck at driving games, usually, too. This is because I am
> crap.

i'm best at footy games

I suck at RPGs like final fantasy, all that turn based comat drives me mad.

I'm really bad at most games that need a brain to operate, but somehow I still manage to beat my mates which makes me happy.