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"The Wings Hauser Appreciation Society"

As we all know Steve Guttenburg is the primary acting member of the Stonecutters, that ‘Simpsonian’ secret society that really controls what’s going on in the world.

One must assume that as the ‘Secret society of No Homers’ they will continue to bring Guttenbutg to our screens in some mindless drivel and may even have taken on new members.

The question is; ‘Who are those members?’

I’ll start;

Christopher Lambert.

Knight Moves, Greystoke, Every Highlander film other than the first, Fortress one and two, Mortal Combat.

Don’t forget to include a resume for your prospective member, his/her career maybe on the line…..

I had a dream about Lantern Jaw last night. He lost his real jaw in a lab accident, and built a range of prosthetic jaws which give him different abilities (as you do). The titular 'lantern jaw' turns him into a super, no nonsense tough (but fair) guy. The 'bearded jaw' gives him the power of disguise. The 'pointed jaw' gives him super intellect (don't know why, I was asleep at the time).

It was an odd mish mash of Dick Tracy, Darkman and The Mask.



'Lantern............JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!'

Imagine my disappointment when I woke up......

I think we're meant to be WHAPS (Wings Hauser Appreciation Society). There is a move for that to become a category of poster along with newbie, regular, etc. But that ineffectual master of the pun, (x-WINGS..hahahahahaaaaaa) Mr.Snuggly, doesn't seem to be able to fix it.

Could one say that we were sWINGERS?

Post number 300... you know, we should infiltrate the world's longest post and start a conversation about Wings... eventually it would become our very own Hauser forum, and with it a whole load of new recruits each with a more contrived pun on the great man's name.

Imagine the mind numbing possibilities if Spike Jonze had been a Wings Hauser fan.. 'Being Wings Hauser' would have been an infinitely more successful film and what's more Goatboy could have got a job compiling "the life and times of Wings Hauser" for the DVD release. Log in the Creek may be inspired but you need something as audacious as "Being John Malkovich" to re-launch Wings. He clearly needs a chance to exercise his lantern jaw and acting prowess in a film entirely dedicated to him. Yes, he got respect for 'The Insider', but he would become a legend if he managed to get into film tailor made for him. Wings deserves better than this, you know he does...

Has anyone started work on the wrestling game yet? You could change it so it was just characters Wings has played fighting it out. I would like to see the insider's lawyer serve a devastating writ on the carpenter for using his buzz saw in a public place in direct contravention of an obscure bye-law. It would be magical I think.

Good lord man, nothing can touch X-Wings, I admit that is quite possibly the best pun ever made.

It contained Star Wars and Wings hauser references.

Nothing could beat that

Goatboy wrote:
> Goatboy wrote:
>Smack my Mitch Up


Well I thought that was
> funny

Not as good as X-Wings. Close, but no Hannibal-style cigar.

Goatboy wrote:
>Smack my Mitch Up


Well I thought that was funny

Think I'll join even if I don't have an eff what your going on about

:-D

The word 'unt' is undescribably funny.