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"When Dringo snapped..."

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Wed 14/04/04 at 10:15
Regular
Posts: 18,185
Being a die-hard Nintendo fan is not easy you know. Every morning I get up, bow to my Gamecube, kiss all my joy pads and religiously study the manuals of all my Nintendo games (SNES. NES, N64, Gamecube and Gameboy). Every piece of negative news I spin into a positive light, I do it so well, Nintendo should hire me as their PR wizard.

But I’ve had enough. Nintendo you are one ******* stupid bloody piece of ****. That’s right it is I, the legendary Dringo, he who can not be slain by Playstation and starves off the threat of the X-box who is saying this you proud ******. What the hell are you playing at? I’m a WESTERN NINTENDO FAN, I don’t get all those ******* titles from Japan with the words Giftipia or Animal Forest printed on the side. And the ones I do get, Doshin the ******* Giant, turns out to be a pile of utter toss.

Every time I spin some negative news article into a positive light but why? Who’s the idiot now ah? You cut second party ties with a certain Left Field, Left Field (NBA courtside and Excitebike 64) are your sports developer; they make your sports games. But oh look you don’t REALLY need them now SEGA has gone multi-format with their sports range. So remove them, who cares. Oh well look at that, less than a year later and SEGA cancel all their sports titles for the Gamecube. WOOPS! Now whom can you turn to? That’s right NO ONE, I have noticed you are now making your own mature sports games (the upcoming Legend of Golfer) but it’s too late.

Ah yes Nintendo, now onto Rare Ware. My previous status was that “they’re crap anyway” and that “they lost Nintendo money”. ********, you ARE dumb aren’t you Nintendo? Want to know why they didn’t make you much money in the year before you sold them? Because they didn’t ACTUALLY release any bloody games! Rare Ware are an unresponsive developer but they were your other half, they are more than Silicon Knights, Left Field, HAL etc... put together. They made Banjo, Conker, Killer Instinct, Donkey Kong and Perfect Dark… all of these are BIG Nintendo releases, well they would have been if you hadn’t ******* sold them! Look at this, your sales aren’t up to scratch! Could this be down to a certain absence of a company that made half your AAA titles? It nearly forced me away, but then that was okay, at least you have Retro Studios and Silicon Knights.

Oh Sympathy where have you gone.

First off you crush Retro Studio’s. A bit of a re-shuffle was needed, EAD’s help was appreciated on Metroid Prime. BUT did you really need to destroy the 4 teams that were there into 1? Raven Blade, that racer and that football game WAS exactly what Nintendo Gamecube lacks. A decent footy game, a decent exclusive racing title and a mature action RPG. But you cancelled them. Did you really have to scrap all those games?

And now modern day. The one that made me snap. I love Silicon Knights. True they are hardly a true example of Nintendo (prefer cinematic gameplay and adult games) but that was the point. Nintendo you’ve told me time and time again how you want to be more “adult” and Eternal Darkness and Metal Gear Solid: The Twin Snakes are YOUR most mature games. And you cut ties with the company behind them? Too Human can now return to the PS2, which it was originally coded for, and you’ve lost yet another special western developer.

I know Nintendo. You have loads of second parties, some I never even knew about including that new sports developer SETA (ever heard of them? No neither have I). But Rare, Silicon Knights, the full Retro team and Left Field could have all pushed Nintendo in both Europe and America. You would have defeated Microsoft and competed more fiercely. But instead you try to get exclusives from other companies that simply do not sell. Capcom are having to cancel their plans to keep Viewtiful Joe and Killer 7 exclusive and cannot wait for the Resident Evil deal to expire. Namco are doing okay but that’s because they hardly support Nintendo as much as they support Sony. SEGA have been drifting away ever so slowly, remember the Virtual Fighter RPG and the sonic series were once exclusive to Nintendo. They are both now lost.

So tell me Nintendo, who do you have left to sell your product to the western world? You don’t have Rare, you don’t have Silicon Knights, you don’t have Left field. Christ you don’t even have Capcom anymore. And in fact you’ve even lost Dringo, your most avid supporter. Sure I love Zelda and Mario, but I’m a western gamer, I have western needs and the only western game you actually make is Metroid Prime, and I don’t even like it.

Maybe one day you’ll acquire some killer, high profile companies such as Capcom, Midway or Free Radical Design. But in the mean time I need to raise funds for an X-box. After all a western Nintendo fan needs his Rare.

Dringo.
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Wed 14/04/04 at 12:30
Regular
"£77k - muahahahah"
Posts: 1,312
gerrid! wrote:
> I remember NST, they're the EAD of NOA. Ridge Racer 64 was excellent
> and one of my favourite racing games. There you go Dringo there's
> your sports developer, and they're better than Left Field as well.
> Courtside 2002 was decent but when compared with NBA Live, or NBA
> Street, or the best sports game/genre on the planet - Madden 2004, it
> was pretty poor, and little more than a ported arcade b-ball game.

WHY ARE WE ALL FORGETTING EXCITEBIKE? It rawked!
Wed 14/04/04 at 12:31
Regular
"£77k - muahahahah"
Posts: 1,312
ÂLŠ†ÂÎR wrote:
> They were enjoyable but they could've been so much more. Especially in
> terms of character animations, tricks and overall
> environmental/character texture levels on Wave Race. At times
> (despite awesome water effects) the game fealt a little ridged and
> clumpy to play.

Ridge Racer was Ridged, eh? Niiice.
Wed 14/04/04 at 12:31
Regular
"bit of a brain"
Posts: 18,933
No one's forgetting Excitebike, but Left Field didn't make that on their own.
Wed 14/04/04 at 12:35
Regular
Posts: 21,800
TGMbloke wrote:

> Crap controllers that break (only one rumble motor, no analouge
> action buttons, short cords, tacky A button, triggers that
> "Click" and break)

Have you got tard fingers? I never had a single problem with any of my controllers.

>
> No Rare for gods sake - Best N64 games? Banjo, Mario, Conker,
> Goldeneye, PD, Zelda. Only two of which have a chance of going on
> Nintendo console again.

Rare stink these days. Grabbed by the Ghoulies was utter balls, Starfox Adventures was dire. Sure they can put together some good screenshots, Rare always have, but when it comes down to game play their recent efforts have stunk more than Lisa Riley's jockstrap.

>
> No online, but ohh....a pretty GBA lead. As soon as PSP comes out im
> afriad that wont be an exclusive feature anymore, and Sony will sell
> it quicker than a Walkman and Playstation 2 combo. Oh - wait. Thats
> what it is.

Online isn't everything, sure Live is a nice feature. But it can't beat a really top quality single player game.

> No 3rd Party games. Wheres Fifa, Colin Mcrea, and Edios at all? I see
> SEGA leaving very slowly too...

Fifa's still here, Gamecube owners just won't be treated to the Euro 2004 cash-in. Colin Mcrae is hardly a million seller and Sega still plan on releasing their games...even though half of them are rubbish these days anyway.

> Buggy - My Cube consistantly crashes and breaks. Iv replacfed it, and
> the same happens again.

Maybe you've been drooling in the disk tray too often because I never had any problems with crashing...apart from the time it fell off my bed and landed on the lid. Things is if my Xbox did the same then I'd probably have a dent in the floor.

> Mario Sunshine was crap. Zelda was very crap. There, iv said it.
> Metroid has no multiplayer.

Mario Sunshine was excellent, Zelda was amazing and Metroid was never supposed to be a multiplayer game. Your opinion sucks, there I said it.

> Im off for good now, so I leave all you Ninty fans this message.

Thank god, hopefully you'll swallow your tongue or fall of a cliff on your way out.

> SELL YOUR GC WHILE ITS STILL WORTH SOMTHING. And with the £30
> you get for it, but a Dreamcast from the second hand store, now THATS
> a console.

Heh, you really are a retard.
Wed 14/04/04 at 12:46
Regular
"You! Obey the fist!"
Posts: 468
TGMbloke wrote:
> Crap controllers that break (only one rumble motor, no analouge
> action buttons, short cords, tacky A button, triggers that
> "Click" and break)

I have 4 controllers(one of which is a wavebird.....oh looky here ma!! no "short cords")with perfectly lengthy controller cords, and have never ever broken...infact I have had no problems with them whatsoever
>
> No Rare for gods sake - Best N64 games? Banjo, Mario, Conker,
> Goldeneye, PD, Zelda. Only two of which have a chance of going on
> Nintendo console again.

However super-cool Rareware are/were, they are not the only thing keeping Nintendo going, we have plenty of great games without having to resort to Rare titles
>
> No online, but ohh....a pretty GBA lead. As soon as PSP comes out im
> afriad that wont be an exclusive feature anymore, and Sony will sell
> it quicker than a Walkman and Playstation 2 combo. Oh - wait. Thats
> what it is.
>
Oh wowsers, a walkman and playstation 2 combo.....I'm positively wetting myself with excitement....oh wait, I'm not. We have online play...granted not much, but online play isn't what makes a console great. It's a relatively new advancement in home console gaming, and was not needed before...why now?

> Buggy - My Cube consistantly crashes and breaks. Iv replacfed it, and
> the same happens again.
>

The only game that has EVER crashed my cube was Enter The Matrix, and that was really to be expected. Even after TRYING to crash it, it just wont go.(what did you do, play frisbee with your game discs and then clean the floor with them?)Or maybe you just never clean the vents on the side of the cube....you see all that grey stuff, it's called dust...and it sometimes makes a widdle lickle problem wat wiv teh whole breaking thing

> Mario Sunshine was crap. Zelda was very crap. There, iv said it.
> Metroid has no multiplayer.
>
you, sir...are an idiot.
> Im off for good now, so I leave all you Ninty fans this message.
>
> SELL YOUR GC WHILE ITS STILL WORTH SOMTHING. And with the £30
> you get for it, but a Dreamcast from the second hand store, now THATS
> a console.

off for good......well that's one good thing to come out of this rant then....
Wed 14/04/04 at 12:47
Regular
Posts: 10,489
I'm sorry but online play makes the Xbox, without it the console would be screwed.
Wed 14/04/04 at 12:51
Regular
Posts: 4,279
Tiltawhirl wrote:
> TGMbloke wrote:
>
> No online, but ohh....a pretty GBA lead. As soon as PSP comes out im
> afriad that wont be an exclusive feature anymore, and Sony will sell
> it quicker than a Walkman and Playstation 2 combo. Oh - wait. Thats
> what it is.
>
> Online isn't everything, sure Live is a nice feature. But it can't
> beat a really top quality single player game.

You're forgetting that a good multiplayer such as the likes of Mario Kart, Mario Party, Super Monkey Ball etc, when played pished with 3 friends is much better fun than playing some weirdo over the internet who can hit a head shot from everywhere. (Some online gamers really don't have lives)
Wed 14/04/04 at 12:59
Regular
Posts: 10,489
I have a life yet on Rainbow Six 3 people think I am some sort of weirdo.
Wed 14/04/04 at 13:09
Regular
Posts: 10,437
I am also really, really annoyed. I wish Nintendo would get their heads out of their ar*es and realise what's going on in the real world. Silicon were brilliant, Eternal darkness was an absolute masterpiece and Too Human looked similarly impressive, and now they go and let them go just because SK prefered content-driven games?

When will they realise that it's not all down to gameplay and gameplay alone. Not everyone wants to do backflips with a fat, useless plumber, not everyone wants to travel through dungeons to save whatever has been captured by Ganon this time around. Some people want an engrossing storyline, cinematic cut-scenes and an atmosphere. But oh no, they don't want that so they won't allow one of the best developers of this day and age (in my opinion) have some freedom to make their own titles, rather than Nintendo-driven games.

I do believe Nintendo are missing Rare. StarFox was balls, but it showed what the Cube could do and did prove to have a farily nice flow to it, Grabbed by the Ghoulies wasn't a disaster, it does what it's meant, be an easy to play, enjoyable romp and while not the perfect introduction into XBox development, certainly not a bad start. Their games have always appealed to western markets, whether games like Perfect Dark, Killer Instinct and Banjo do live up to their expectations, who cares, they'll always sell some much-needed units and give Nintendo a bit of life.

I believe that Eternal Darkness and other similarly dark franshises (perhaps Too Human if that isn't a one-off) could also appeal in the same way with a bit of backing and some freedom to express the developers needs. But oh no, Nintendo though because they're not Nintendo games, they should be let go. But they are Nintendo games. Eternal Darkness is the most Nintendo adult title I've ever played, just because they don't display the same amount of focus on raw gameplay that Nintendo do, they love epics, they like to make different games, albeit in a different style to Nintendo. You don't need some water-powered backpack to be original; a superb story, memorable, living characters and even just different ways of scaring the player. That's innovation in a different way.

I had a go on Metroid Prime last night (I moved onto another game halfway through Hard) and it just reminded me how much better it is that Zelda, than Mario, than Double Dash, and it too is content driven. It the closest thing I can think of that blends SK's approach to innovation with Nintendo's. I unique cntrol system with original gameplay elements, along with a self-contained plotline and one of the most heart-wreching atmosphere's ever to exist. It's truly genius and a sign of what Retro are capable of. This is the peak of the GameCube for me, along with Eternal Darkness to a lesser extent, but no doubt Nintendo will try to influence Retro even further and who knows, perhaps they'll move the same way as SIlicon Knights if the worst comes to the worst.

And Nintendo's future? Well who knows. A Capcom buyout, while it would be wonderful, is unlikely. We've seen little proof of Nintendo trying to push Capcom's products, bar maybe the 'Adult's Get Scared Too' campaign, so unless they're dedicated to the Resident Evil's, Killer 7's and Viewtiful Joe's, I wouldn't expect much. Camalot will probably be snapped up instead, yet another Eastern developer, and who know's, we may even see Treasure in the near future on Nintendo's side, but judging by Wario World, again Nintendo can't seem to leave their developers alone.

Links are breaking with Capcom (5 exclusives turning into 2), with Namco (Tales no longer GameCube only) and now the desolved partnership between Nintendo and one of their few links to Western gamers. At the moment, I hate them for how stupid they are.

When will they wake up? The failure of the DS? The failure of the N5? Bankruptcy? I shudder to think.
Wed 14/04/04 at 13:13
Regular
Posts: 10,437
TGMbloke wrote:
> Crap controllers that break (only one rumble motor, no analouge
> action buttons, short cords, tacky A button, triggers that
> "Click" and break)

The Cube's controller is easily the best designed for most games.

> Buggy - My Cube consistantly crashes and breaks. Iv replacfed it, and
> the same happens again.

My GameCube has never crashed, after 50 games put to good use and having it since release. My brother's PS2 (which he's had for a bit longer than my Cube) is falling to pieces and XBox regularly crashes. So nope, wrong again.

> Mario Sunshine was crap. Zelda was very crap. There, iv said it.
> Metroid has no multiplayer.

Disappointing? Yes. Crap? No. And like Tiltawhirl said, Prime was never meant to be multiplayer, the system would suck for it.
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