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"How to beat Juve II"

This time we have to be more sneaky. It's not enough to just shoot Nunez to ensure he won't play, I'm beginning to suspect Rafa would put Nunez's corpse on the bench anyway. So this means we have to be sneaky-like. I suggest luring Nunez out of his house, which he surely shares with other wasters like Richie Partridge, by the use of a cunning No 7 shirt on a string. Nunez will surely think Harry Kewell has been killed, possibly by me. He will then believe the No 7 shirt appearing at his door to be an omen that Rafa wants him play regularly on the right-wing. He will follow the shirt to a hut within which Harry Kewell and Ant will be. Ant will be charged with the responsibility of making sure these two diabolical players cannot be in Turin. This is OK because Ant's favourite players are these two.

Juventus will believe the whole squad will be arriving together. This is not the case. We will have sent Baros and Smicer on a mission, Czech-style. They will have hitchhiked to Turin, and adopted a disguise (put their greasy locks in a hairnet) to ensure they are not detected. Their mission will be to sabotage Pavel Nedved. Pavel will welcome them into his house because they share national allegiance, but his trust will be misplaced. Baros will do all the work because Smicer is good for nothing. He just came along so Baros would have someone to talk to. They will tie Nedved up in the shed.

On the night, Benitez will be confounded by the lack of Nunez and will be forced - listen carefully now - to actually play 90 minutes with at least 1 recognised striker on the pitch. Capello will be stunned, because he had been given to understand that Benitez doesn't like playing with any strikers at all, but a 6 man midfield. He is already confused because Nedved hasn't turned up. He will be SO confused, in fact, that he will bring himself on for Buffon.

Milan Milan Milan, seeing that there is only an old man with a weird fake-tan in the goalmouth, will be inspired to score a hatrick, which is just as well because Miner Dudek will be back in goal, allowing 70 yard efforts from Blasi to go in.

This is how we will beat Juventus.

mattributé wrote:
> West Brom beating Brazil... and near enough everyone else too, in
> fact...

I weep.

The convict will steal another victory for the brom yet.

I just always feel it's making it a bit easy if you're a team who are really good. So I'm usually the Czech Republic or the like. But when we finally play, you can Brazil as long as I find someone equally amazing. Argentina probably. With Riquelme.

Stryke wrote:
> Not all black men with dreadlocks are Jay-Jay Okocha.

True, there's Kiki Musampa too.

Edit: Crap, I didn't read the replies following this. :-(

Badgerman always uses Pompy. I usually choose Brom for the Gera, Hulse-fase and Gregan.

But it can't be cheating. I don't edit them or bring in cheat characters. It's just realistic. You can be France. Or AC Milan.

I'd let you play as Brazil, I'd just make it clear that you were cheating your face off. Like Azul, who apparently always uses Juventus.

My PS2 wouldn't have let you play on it.

"What? He won't let you play as Brazil? He must be gay, or at least pretending. Away with him."

"...And finally, I leave to my dearest owner Stryke, to whit: one thrashing on Pro Evo, at the hands of Blank..."

Mine had a will.

That's extreme. When mine broke, I just had it fixed.