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"How to beat Juve II"

This time we have to be more sneaky. It's not enough to just shoot Nunez to ensure he won't play, I'm beginning to suspect Rafa would put Nunez's corpse on the bench anyway. So this means we have to be sneaky-like. I suggest luring Nunez out of his house, which he surely shares with other wasters like Richie Partridge, by the use of a cunning No 7 shirt on a string. Nunez will surely think Harry Kewell has been killed, possibly by me. He will then believe the No 7 shirt appearing at his door to be an omen that Rafa wants him play regularly on the right-wing. He will follow the shirt to a hut within which Harry Kewell and Ant will be. Ant will be charged with the responsibility of making sure these two diabolical players cannot be in Turin. This is OK because Ant's favourite players are these two.

Juventus will believe the whole squad will be arriving together. This is not the case. We will have sent Baros and Smicer on a mission, Czech-style. They will have hitchhiked to Turin, and adopted a disguise (put their greasy locks in a hairnet) to ensure they are not detected. Their mission will be to sabotage Pavel Nedved. Pavel will welcome them into his house because they share national allegiance, but his trust will be misplaced. Baros will do all the work because Smicer is good for nothing. He just came along so Baros would have someone to talk to. They will tie Nedved up in the shed.

On the night, Benitez will be confounded by the lack of Nunez and will be forced - listen carefully now - to actually play 90 minutes with at least 1 recognised striker on the pitch. Capello will be stunned, because he had been given to understand that Benitez doesn't like playing with any strikers at all, but a 6 man midfield. He is already confused because Nedved hasn't turned up. He will be SO confused, in fact, that he will bring himself on for Buffon.

Milan Milan Milan, seeing that there is only an old man with a weird fake-tan in the goalmouth, will be inspired to score a hatrick, which is just as well because Miner Dudek will be back in goal, allowing 70 yard efforts from Blasi to go in.

This is how we will beat Juventus.

Hopefully Baros and Rooney will be a bit better too. And Eto'o. And all those other ones.

You know he'll be Ronaldo-standard on PES5, though.

Stryke wrote:
> So was christmas tree sticker. Think less thoughts from now on.

What else am I supposed to think? For the record, the Christmas tree one was knowingly ass.

Adriano's trouble on Pro Evo is, he has so much power but not enough shot accuracy to be brilliant. It makes it harder to lob the keeper. And he declines from about 20 in the master league. Which is actually not that bad, because his power goes first.

Me and Adders have had some memories on PES4. He's a genius... but not as genius as he should be.

Blank wrote:

> In my mind, that's funny, okay?

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So was christmas tree sticker. Think less thoughts from now on.

Adriano is truly awful on that game. I usually play Diego instead of him, for his technical skills.

Pandiani should be better for the Uraguay. Fortunately, Chevanton is ace.

What's funny about Inter, is that their first choice stiker, Adriano, is the worst in Pro Evo, whereas last choice Recoba is their best.

In my mind, that's funny, okay?

Recoba is a god on that game. He's fast, has power and can drive one in like Stevie G. He's everything Adriano should be.

But Uruguay have Recoba, who is clearly too good. But go on then. I'll be: anyone else really.

I'm prepared to be: Brazil, Liverpool, Uraguay or Denmark.