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"My first Date... I need help..."

In a few days I am going to go out for a date, and I have never dated anyone before, in fact I don't think that I have ever talked to a girl in my whole life, and I didn't even fix that date, there was a friend who did it for me, and now I have no clue about what I am supposed to do.. What are people supposed to do on a date ? what kinds of things should I say ? And what kinds of things shouldn't I say ? Please I need all the advice that I can get because I am a total newbie about everything that has to do with these kinds of things.

Stay away from the following subjects unless she brings 'em up first:

> Towels
> The Watergate Scandal
> That big spot you woke up with two mornings ago.
> Lamps (ask Monkey_Man about that one).

Would that comment fall into the 'wrong' or 'right' section?
I think I can see where things have been going wrong ...

You need to do three things:

1) relax;
2) be yourself;
3) don't try too hard.

There's no "routine" to follow or right and wrong things to say, apart from "Suck me dry, beeatch!"

sex is out of the question, just tell me what to say when talking to her, what kinds of things am I supposed to talk about, what is the first thing that I should say uppon meeting her, are there any preparations for a date ? I need details.

Ask her if she'd like to make sexytime explosion.

In a few days I am going to go out for a date, and I have never dated anyone before, in fact I don't think that I have ever talked to a girl in my whole life, and I didn't even fix that date, there was a friend who did it for me, and now I have no clue about what I am supposed to do.. What are people supposed to do on a date ? what kinds of things should I say ? And what kinds of things shouldn't I say ? Please I need all the advice that I can get because I am a total newbie about everything that has to do with these kinds of things.