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Wow, Aliens Vs Predator. How original. I could pull a better movie pitch out of my ass and it'd still smell sweeter. So I have, and you should too.
Back to the Future IV - Marty and the Doc travel so far into the future, they meet up with the Terminators in a war-ravaged earth run by metal robots. Features hilarious scenes of robots trying to get into the DeLorean but repeatedly banging their heads on the rubbish doors. A comedy.
Die Hard 4 - Bruce Willis breaks his hip and is left to slowly rot in a retirement home, when he gets on the trail of the mysterious yellow puddle in the common room. Co-starring Steven Seagal as a ninja orderly.
Alien Vs Jude Law - not so much a movie as a documentary, in which we see how long Britain's smug, impossibly annoying Caine-wannabe can survive in a glass cage with an angry xenomorph (that's had its balls cut off).
Back to the Future IV - Marty and the Doc travel so far into the future, they meet up with the Terminators in a war-ravaged earth run by metal robots. Features hilarious scenes of robots trying to get into the DeLorean but repeatedly banging their heads on the rubbish doors. A comedy.
Die Hard 4 - Bruce Willis breaks his hip and is left to slowly rot in a retirement home, when he gets on the trail of the mysterious yellow puddle in the common room. Co-starring Steven Seagal as a ninja orderly.
Alien Vs Jude Law - not so much a movie as a documentary, in which we see how long Britain's smug, impossibly annoying Caine-wannabe can survive in a glass cage with an angry xenomorph (that's had its balls cut off).
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Orlando Bloom Vs. Lenardo di Caprio: Battle of the most slappable faces
A new Alien vs Predator film, but with Dutch from the first one instead of generic stereotypes. At some point (for no reason other than to make Paul Anderson happy) Dutch ends up being the basis for the Terminator (explaining why they all look like Arnie) then joins Robocop and Superman to take on midget Predators and Agent Smith.
I'd pay to see it.
I'd pay to see it.
Terminator IV: The Rise of The Lead Role
Governer Arnie kills a lot of people so no-one can oppose him as he becomes American President. Lots of killing and not much else. Highlights include a presidential editct for the White House to be painted black.
Home Alone: The Terror
A now much older Macauley Culkin has to defend his home from Michael Jackson and his shiny, probing claws after his girlfriend leaves him for a hobo.
Governer Arnie kills a lot of people so no-one can oppose him as he becomes American President. Lots of killing and not much else. Highlights include a presidential editct for the White House to be painted black.
Home Alone: The Terror
A now much older Macauley Culkin has to defend his home from Michael Jackson and his shiny, probing claws after his girlfriend leaves him for a hobo.
I'm a Celebrity: Get Me Out of Here!! (No, seriously; before the angry fire ants make their way through the plexiglass tube and into my urethra. Please; God, please I promise I'll live a better life. I swear, I'll dedicate my life to advancing human society rather than appearing in more and more self-obsessed horsechebic programs where I moan about how life is sooo difficult for the modern celebrity. I promise I won't whine about loss of privacy whilst my grinning simpleton face is plastered over Hello Magazine (made by plebs for plebs). Just PLEASE HELP ME!! I'M BEGGING YOU!
The title is self explanitory.
The title is self explanitory.
Freddy Vs Jason Vs Ash Vs Pinhead Vs Alien Vs Predator Vs Terminator Vs Robocop Vs Rambo Vs Rocky Vs T-Rex Vs Godzilla Vs Van Helsing Vs X-Men Vs Superman Vs Batman Vs Indiana Jones Vs Luke Skywalker Vs Darth Vader Vs The Dark Lord Sauron and his 100 Thousand strong Orc Army
Tagline: F**k it! We’ve ran out of ideas
Lance Henriksen gathers a group of dull, uninteresting 20 something’s to go on an expedition to monster Island because there is a pyramid there and that’s strange. Arming them to the teeth he sends them off to badly act their way through the island getting picked off one by one until the butch hero type, beautiful scientist woman, and possibly comedy black guy who keeps uttering “damn foo’ that’s whack” are the only survivors.
They’ll also probably ally with the Predator and Darth Vader because as it turns out the Predator isn’t really a highly equipped killing machine, and Darth Vader isn’t really that evil, they’re just misunderstood and have feelings, and want to leave monster island to open an orphanage and help the world become a better place for us all.
It’ll be written and directed by Paul W.S. Anderson as well, so expect lots of well written dialogue, amazingly choreographed action sequences and a plot that makes sense.
Tagline: F**k it! We’ve ran out of ideas
Lance Henriksen gathers a group of dull, uninteresting 20 something’s to go on an expedition to monster Island because there is a pyramid there and that’s strange. Arming them to the teeth he sends them off to badly act their way through the island getting picked off one by one until the butch hero type, beautiful scientist woman, and possibly comedy black guy who keeps uttering “damn foo’ that’s whack” are the only survivors.
They’ll also probably ally with the Predator and Darth Vader because as it turns out the Predator isn’t really a highly equipped killing machine, and Darth Vader isn’t really that evil, they’re just misunderstood and have feelings, and want to leave monster island to open an orphanage and help the world become a better place for us all.
It’ll be written and directed by Paul W.S. Anderson as well, so expect lots of well written dialogue, amazingly choreographed action sequences and a plot that makes sense.
Alien 5: xeno jive
Breakdancing Aliens take over a school disco.
Breakdancing Aliens take over a school disco.
Planet of the Japes
Great apes play practical jokes on each other. Charlton Heston shoot at Marky Mark Whalberg and Troy McClure break-dances into the night.
Ghostbusters 3
Egon, Winston, Ray and Peter return to take on a demonic Patrick Swayze who has been pestering grieving widows with clay-based poltergeistery.
24: The Movie
It's a movie that's 24 hours long.
Stain-master 2
This time it's Persil. (Sorry, I'm sure that's been done before).
Great apes play practical jokes on each other. Charlton Heston shoot at Marky Mark Whalberg and Troy McClure break-dances into the night.
Ghostbusters 3
Egon, Winston, Ray and Peter return to take on a demonic Patrick Swayze who has been pestering grieving widows with clay-based poltergeistery.
24: The Movie
It's a movie that's 24 hours long.
Stain-master 2
This time it's Persil. (Sorry, I'm sure that's been done before).
Eastenders : The Movie
Celebrates the end of the Eastenders series, hurrah!
Jerry Springer : The Movie
Without the guards and the bald guy, it'd beat the violence in Gangs Of New York anyday.
Celebrates the end of the Eastenders series, hurrah!
Jerry Springer : The Movie
Without the guards and the bald guy, it'd beat the violence in Gangs Of New York anyday.
Tomb Raider 3: Nemesis
Angelina Jolie's brother is infected with the G-virus and turns into Nemesis, an evil zombie type beast that tries hunting her down. Jolie still can't resist trying to make out with it.
Freddy Vs. Jason Vs. Ash
Freddy and Jason duke it out again but this time with the addition of boomstick/chainsaw weilding ASH from the Evil Dead franchise.
Utterl ridiculous........ oh hang on.
Angelina Jolie's brother is infected with the G-virus and turns into Nemesis, an evil zombie type beast that tries hunting her down. Jolie still can't resist trying to make out with it.
Freddy Vs. Jason Vs. Ash
Freddy and Jason duke it out again but this time with the addition of boomstick/chainsaw weilding ASH from the Evil Dead franchise.
Utterl ridiculous........ oh hang on.
1) police acadamy 5million - time for another sequel methinks
2) predidents day out - like babys day out, but with senor bush
3) wimbledon - u could even have chris moyles in a bit... wait a minute...
2) predidents day out - like babys day out, but with senor bush
3) wimbledon - u could even have chris moyles in a bit... wait a minute...
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