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"Finally a clever BLONDE joke"

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Mon 12/04/04 at 21:30
Regular
"Hot Gun On Ma Waist"
Posts: 757
A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first blonde a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

The first blonde answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"

The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture shows his profile."

Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second blonde and asks her, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"

The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"

The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?!? Of course only one eye and one ear are SHOWING because it's a picture of his profile!! Is that the best answer you can come up with?

Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third blonde and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" He quickly adds" . . . think hard before giving me a stupid answer."

The blonde looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "Hmmmm . . . the suspect wears contact lenses."

The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not. "Well, that's an interesting answer . . . wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."

He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face. "Wow! I can't believe it...it's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"

"That's easy," the blonde replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear.


**** ha this is great tell me ur fave jokes
Mon 12/04/04 at 22:23
Regular
"Hot Gun On Ma Waist"
Posts: 757
There were two blondes, and they had just came from a store.
The blonde that owned the mustang had locked her keys in the
car. She was trying to pick the lock when she stoped to rest
for a second.

When she sat down, her friend said, "Hurry up, it's starting
to rain and the top's down!"
Mon 12/04/04 at 22:19
Regular
"Hot Gun On Ma Waist"
Posts: 757
One day while on patrol a police officer pulled over a car
for speeding. He went up to the car and asked the driver to
roll down her window. The first thing he noticed, besides the
nice red sports car was how hot the driver was! Drop dead
blonde the works. "I've pulled you over for speeding
ma'me.....could I see your drivers license...? "...Whats a
license...???" replied the blonde. instantly giving away the
fact that she was as a stump. Its usually in your wallet...
replied the officer. After fumbling for a few minutes the
driver managed to find it. Now may I see your registration!!!
Asked the cop. Registration....whats that...?asked the
blonde. Its usually in your glove compartment said the cop
impatiently after some more fumbling she found the
registration. Ill be back in a minute.. the cop said and
walked back to his car. The officer phoned into the dispatch
to run a check on the womans license and registration. After
a few moments the dispatcher came back. Ummm is this woman
driving a red sports car. Yes....Replied the officer. Is she
a drop dead gorgeous blonde? asked the dispatcher. Uh...Yes
replied the cop. Heres what you do.....said the
dispatcher.Give her stuff back and drop your pants.
WHAT!!!?Icant do that. Its ........inappropriate..exclaimed
the cop. Trust me....Just do it..said the dispatcher. So the
cop goes back to the car gives back the license and
registration and drops his pants, just as the dispatcher
said. The blonde looks down and sighs..... Ohh no......not
ANOTHER breathalyzer....
Mon 12/04/04 at 22:16
Regular
Posts: 6,801
What's brown, white, black and blue?

a brunette who told too many blonde jokes.....
Mon 12/04/04 at 22:16
Regular
"Hot Gun On Ma Waist"
Posts: 757
Two blondes walk into a bar, each orders a drink. They go
and sit down and start toasting and chearing, "51 days! 51
days!!" About five minutes later, another blonde walks in,
orders a drink, and joins the other two in the chearing.
Finally, another blonde walkes in with what looks like a
cardboard picture. She puts the picture thing in the middle
of the table, and starts chearing with the others, "51 days!
51 days!! The Bar Tender starts too get really curious, so he
walks over to discover that the picture is a Cookie Monster
puzzle. He walks over to one of the blondes and asks, "What
on earth are you doing??" "Well," the blonde says, "everyone
thinks blondes are so stupid, so we proved them wrong. On
the box of this puzzle, it says 2-4 years, but we finished it
in only 51 days!!!
Mon 12/04/04 at 22:12
"chaos"
Posts: 18
That gets my vote.
Mon 12/04/04 at 22:07
Regular
"Hot Gun On Ma Waist"
Posts: 757
A businessman got on an elevator in a building. When he
entered the elevator, there was a blonde already inside and
she greeted him by reciting the letters, "T-G-I-F."

He
smiled at her and replied, "S*-H-I-Ta." She looked at him,
puzzled, and said "T-G-I-F" again.


He acknowledged her
remark again by answering, "S*-H-I-Ta."


The blonde was
trying to be friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile and
said, as sweetly as possible, "T-G-I-F" another time.



The man smiled back to her and once again replied with a
quizzical expression, "S*-H-I-Ta."


The blonde finally
decided to explain things, and this time she said, "T-G-I-F,
Thank Goodness It's Friday, get it?"


The man answered,
"S*-H-I-Ta:a Sorry Honey, It's Thursday again."


* a is only added on the end of the poo wrd as its the only way this goes tghrough the filter.
Mon 12/04/04 at 22:00
Regular
"Which one's pink?"
Posts: 12,152
That's not a blonde joke, though.
It's just a joke which you modified. Shame on you.
Mon 12/04/04 at 21:59
"period drama"
Posts: 19,792
slice wrote:
> mine is still the best

Your definition of best needs some revision.
Mon 12/04/04 at 21:57
"chaos"
Posts: 18
During the war 3 SOE operatives were captured by the nazi and were about to be shot by firing squad. The first one, black haired says 'I have a great idea how to get out of this' but before he can tell the others he is taken away to be shot. As the firing squad takes aim the prisoner shouts 'Earthquake' and as the guards look around the prisoner runs away. The second prisoner, brown haired is taken out but considers what he just saw and as they take aim he shouts 'Flood' and makes his escape in the panic. When the third prisoner a blond, is taken out he is confident and as the guards take aim he shouts 'Fire' .....

I know but I'm running out.
Mon 12/04/04 at 21:57
Regular
"Redness Returneth"
Posts: 8,310
I heard this from my little brother this morning, I think his friend told him it:

3 ladies are going down a shute and at the bottom is whatever you want to be there. So the first lady (a red haired girl) goes down and shouts 'ICE CREAM', the pool that she lands in filled with ice-cream. The second ladie (a brunette) goes down and shouts 'Chocolate!', the pool is made from chocolate. The third lady (a blonde) goes down the shute and shouts 'Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee!' 'Nuff said.

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