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"FF, what colour was Jesus?"

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Mon 29/03/04 at 13:40
Regular
"Pouch Ape"
Posts: 14,499
Or God for that matter. He made us in His image and the earliest Humans were from Asia, so they must have been yellow/brown/whatever skinned. Yet, every Bible printed, every religious image in the Western world shows him as a white man. Why is that? Do you think it could be some subtle form of manipulation for us Honkys? The whole region of Bethlehem, Jerusalem, etc., is in the Middle East area, and I don't see no white folk about. Could it be that the Bible my old school gave me and forced me to learn from was lying to me?

My personal favourite theory, that explains everything about the man called Jesus, is that he was a time-traveller. Think about it. Some mystical bloke, giving it all "that" with extra sass - I'd be pretty lairy if I'd just time-travelled. Healing the sick with modern and future medicine. And he's white. The first time-traveller (if the End of Days hasn't come like you're cheerily predicting) will probably be some white-bred American bloke, so he'll be well-versed in the Bible. It's a good theory, don't knock it. Expect to see the film. Soon. Starring Mark Wahlberg as Jesus. And William Shatner as God. Probably.
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Mon 29/03/04 at 13:46
Regular
"Pouch Ape"
Posts: 14,499
But my Bible doesn't say that. You are wrong, he was white. Look, pictures - PROOF!!!!!!!11111111!dribble
Mon 29/03/04 at 13:46
Regular
Posts: 73
I think of him as eastern-european
Mon 29/03/04 at 13:43
Regular
"RIP: Brian Clough"
Posts: 10,491
Jesus was Jewish and living in hot and sunny Israel He would have had a deep tan colour.
Mon 29/03/04 at 13:40
Regular
"Pouch Ape"
Posts: 14,499
Or God for that matter. He made us in His image and the earliest Humans were from Asia, so they must have been yellow/brown/whatever skinned. Yet, every Bible printed, every religious image in the Western world shows him as a white man. Why is that? Do you think it could be some subtle form of manipulation for us Honkys? The whole region of Bethlehem, Jerusalem, etc., is in the Middle East area, and I don't see no white folk about. Could it be that the Bible my old school gave me and forced me to learn from was lying to me?

My personal favourite theory, that explains everything about the man called Jesus, is that he was a time-traveller. Think about it. Some mystical bloke, giving it all "that" with extra sass - I'd be pretty lairy if I'd just time-travelled. Healing the sick with modern and future medicine. And he's white. The first time-traveller (if the End of Days hasn't come like you're cheerily predicting) will probably be some white-bred American bloke, so he'll be well-versed in the Bible. It's a good theory, don't knock it. Expect to see the film. Soon. Starring Mark Wahlberg as Jesus. And William Shatner as God. Probably.
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