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"FF, what colour was Jesus?"

Or God for that matter. He made us in His image and the earliest Humans were from Asia, so they must have been yellow/brown/whatever skinned. Yet, every Bible printed, every religious image in the Western world shows him as a white man. Why is that? Do you think it could be some subtle form of manipulation for us Honkys? The whole region of Bethlehem, Jerusalem, etc., is in the Middle East area, and I don't see no white folk about. Could it be that the Bible my old school gave me and forced me to learn from was lying to me?

My personal favourite theory, that explains everything about the man called Jesus, is that he was a time-traveller. Think about it. Some mystical bloke, giving it all "that" with extra sass - I'd be pretty lairy if I'd just time-travelled. Healing the sick with modern and future medicine. And he's white. The first time-traveller (if the End of Days hasn't come like you're cheerily predicting) will probably be some white-bred American bloke, so he'll be well-versed in the Bible. It's a good theory, don't knock it. Expect to see the film. Soon. Starring Mark Wahlberg as Jesus. And William Shatner as God. Probably.

Forest Fan wrote:
> The rapture is when Jesus takes His believers up the ass, to avoid the
> Tribulation ahead.

A-ha.
*Pose*

Paradox: wrote:
> what does raptured mean?

The rapture is when Jesus takes His believers, to avoid the Tribulation ahead.

what does raptured mean?

The first way you'll know Jesus has returned, will be His believers will be raptured.

Forest Fan wrote:
> Jesus is coming back, Paradox. Are you ready?

Yeah, when he comes back as a special guest on Richard and Judy.

Face it mate, if some bloke began saying he was Jesus, nobody would beleive him - they'd simply say he was crazy.

On what authority is your judgement based?

Forest Fan wrote:
> The sagacious one wrote:
> Forest Fan wrote:
> or the Lake of Fire, which is the Second Death.
>
> You'd make a crap Estate Agent.
>
> Well, I'm just presenting the fact, which are you moving into after
> death? And are you sure?

I'm moving into a spacious sagacious coffin, then into the earth and then finally into the bellies of some worms. There will be no memory that I existed and no point to my previous existence.

Jesus is coming back, Paradox. Are you ready?

The sagacious one wrote:
> Forest Fan wrote:
> or the Lake of Fire, which is the Second Death.
>
> You'd make a crap Estate Agent.

Well, I'm just presenting the fact, which are you moving into after death? And are you sure?

Forest Fan wrote:
> Jesus Christ lived and is still laying low. Fact.

Those pesky Roman's dont give up do they!