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"He held aloft the mighty sword..."

SNIPER was bored. So what if monsters had begun attacking the city again? There was nothing he could do about it. If those other stupid idiots he sometimes called his friends wanted to try to stop them, let them. He didn't want to go looking for any stupid sword.

__________

"So where the hell has SNIPER gone now?" asked Your Honour, turning to the other members of the party.

Grix shrugged, there were much bigger things to worry about than the whereabouts of SNIPER.
Ant however had seen SNIPER disappear, so decided to speak up "Well, he said we were a bunch of stupid morons trying to find this sword, and went off that way." Ant pointed towards a meadow.

"Well if he doesn't care about our homes being destroyed and us being enslaved then so be it. I do, and I vow to find the Sword of Nogard, and slay those foul beasts that attack our homes!" Cried Your Honour, and the three of them set off into the forest.

___________

SNIPER continued to wander through the meadow, it was a beautiful day, the suns were bright and the sky clear. Walking through the waist high grass amongst the butterfly was something that always helped to cheer SNIPER up. Maybe he should catch up with his friends he thought, and he too headed for the forest.

___________

pb marched up to FantasyMeister. "You can't keep sending our men out to die! We only have limited resources, and cannot fight them out there in the fields!"

"Then what would you suggest pb, letting those beasts inside our city walls, letting them slaughter our wives and feed on our children?" Replied FM looking down on pb.

"But we cannot hold out forever. We need help!" said pb shaking his head, as he walked away.

___________

SNIPER's mood had again changed for the worse. Where were those stupid idiots now? SNIPER looked round to see something catching the light in a clearing nearby. Maybe it was his friends! He ran into the clearing.

Moments later he realised that it was not his friends in the clearing, but something much more special. Stuck in the ground was a sword. The sword of Nogard! As SNIPER approached it he suddenly felt a chill in the air. The skies had clouded over, and the wind had picked up to such an extent that the trees creaked. If SNIPER could retrieve the sword, he would be a hero! No more would he be laughed at!

SNIPER grabbed the sword and pulled with all of his might. He could feel the first drops of a violent rain storm lash against his face. Still he pulled on the sword, until it gave up it's hold on the ground. SNIPER could feel great power within him as he held it.

He held it toward the skies as a sign of victory.
_____________

Grix didn't like this change in the weather. Not one bit. Why had it changed so suddenly? He could feel something strange in the air. "That way!" He cried, pointing towards a clearing nearby as thunder crashed in his ears and lightning lit up the skies.

_____________

"Aaaarghhhh!" Cried SNIPER as he was thrown to the ground. A lightning bolt had struck the sword and flowed through his body.

_____________

Your Honour was the first into the clearing. "It's SNIPER" he said, "Or at least it was...." he said, looking at the charred remains of his former companion.

"It looks as if we weren't the first at the scene" Said Ant, pointing towards some footprints leading out of the clearing. Next to these was a strange track, much like that that would be left be a sword, being dragged through grass........

"What makes Sniper nice?" They said in unision, staring at Dan for paying no attention.

"Oh dear."

Sheepy cursed his bad luck and told the others what his task was.

"You know that giant Fogmaster" he began.

The others nodded.

"Well I've got to stop him walking about. He's friendly but a bit careless and has already trod on 23 people, not to mention the Gaming Guru only just missing escaping and you know what Grix's brain would do if she got splattered!"

"Last arrow, last apple." reminded FM.

"You wouldn't sound so calm if you were the one with Mr trigger happy here aiming at your head" Sheepy replied

pb sighed

"Look, relax will you? I might hit you if you don't hold still. What? There's no need to look at me like that! It's not as if I've accidentally killed any.. well anyway, I've hit four. It'll be a cinch"

Sheepy closed his eyes. He was trying hard not to breathe. Ironically, er-no was currently best at 'not breathing' lying dead in the grass as he was.

pb let the arrow fly. The apple split, and sheepy breathed again.

"So the second test is completed." The old man said

"What do you think the third test is going to be?" Sheepy whispered to FM. "After all, he said they'd get harder each time, and considering that one was many, many times harder than the first one - well, this last one doesn't even bear thinking about!"

"Your final challenge" The old man said. "Is the test of soul."

He left a dramatic pause hanging in the air. Unfortunately, he left the pause a bit too long, and it looked like he'd forgotten what he was going to say.

"It is for you, Sheepy."

Sheepy cringed. Surely this was going to be the most asking test of himself as a persoon, that he would ever encounter. His throat was dry, and the world faded into the background as the man began to speak. Sheepy heard only the man's words..

"You must tell us, what are Sniper's pleasant traits, those that make him so likeable."

Sheepy's face went white.

Your Honour woke up... and tried to focus on what was sitting on him.

It was Ant.

"Err... why are you sitting on me?"

"Grix has gone."

"Oh, that's a suprise."

"So have the orcs."

"What?" Your Honour pushed Ant off his bed, and stood up...

"Where's the army? The Captain?"

"Gone. Something must of happened during the night..."

"Well, obviously."

Meka, Dan, and Venombyte joined the two waiting.

Meka spoke. "Ok, I see three things that may have happened. Either Grix has been kidnapped by the orcs."

"Then why did they just leave us?" Your Honour stated, ever the doubtful one.

"OR, Grix is working with the orcs..."

Your Honour replied again. "Perhaps, but why? He's been with us..." Ant gave Your Honour a dark stare... "...you, for ages now, why would he do such a thing?"

"OR, Grix couldn't really think of any plan, and decided to run for it."

Silence.

"Yeah," Ant replied to Your Honour's silence. "I agree."

"But then, why have the orcs gone?..." Dan said.

"When did they leave, exactly?" Venombyte chipped in.

"Well," Ant said. "I noticed that the army had gone, and I looked inside the house... completely empty."

"Are you sure there is nothing left inside, some kind of clue?"

"That's why I woke you lot up." Ant replied. "Fancy going to look inside?"

---------

Meanwhile, Pb needed someone to write about him. FM agreed. Sheepy farted.

Didn't see that coming...

...Oh yeah. Perhaps you did.

"Damn... the gold plotline will have to wait until another story then..." Grix mumbled, writing in his notebook.

"What?"

"Oh, nothing. Anyway, everything happens for a reason in these stories... EVERYTHING."

Grix watched the sunset... night had fallen.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Grix leant forward to Your Honour... "I've already told much before it even happens..."

Your Honour felt a need to re-read all the old stories... but decided to wait for the time being...

"Ok. Here's what I suggest..." Grix said. He looked around, and walked up to the Captain.

"Captain, you said the orcs have been without food for how many days?"

"Three..." he said, mystified in the colour of his drink...

Grix turned back to the gang. "Unlikely. I expect either one of two things."

"Either the orcs had food with them... and prepared to go under seige, which is very unlikely, or they have some kind of backup."

"Grix. Most people can live three days without food."

"Yes, but Orcs can't. Two is their ultimate maximum... Their bodies consume a lot of energy. Can you imagine a orc WITHOUT a chicken bone in his hand?"

"That's a good point... yes..."

"So, what are you suggesting? We find how they are getting their food, and try to get in that way?"

"No."

"What?"

"Poison them?"

"No."

"What then?"

Grix smiled, and walked away from the gang... "I'll tell you tommorrow."

He lied down on the floor, and pulled the blanket over him.

Safety Concious Neville was a worried man. He didn't like being worried, it annoyed him. He was pacing up and down in the Orc Kings chamber. Thinking things through. He counted the points off on his finger.

Finger one went up.

"It is true that my fake death, the subsequent exit from the city went well. As I was first councillor, no doubt the bloated councillors thought someone had murdered me. They were probably still squabbling between themselves as we attacked."

The Orc King mumbled an agreement.

Finger two went up.

"I even managed, though don't ask how, to send that fool Grix and his pathetic bunch towards Bethesda, where they now believe to the sword to be."

There was a murmur from the King.

Finger three went up.

"I also located the sword myself, in the Triangle Of Trees. I can't believe I didn't think of it myself. I should have known the old fools would have left it in an obvious place such as that. From now on I will never under estimate the predictbability of stupidity.

"The fools! If the council had followed me, I could have got the sword and lead them to great things. We could have ruled the world! But NO!", and now the speed of the pacing increased, Neville starting to get red faced in his anger, "They chose to scorn me, now they shall feel my Wrath!."

"What about the sword, my lord?" Asked the King.

"That is currently my only problem. The Orc's I sent to get the sword from the Triangle Of Trees were caught and set upon by a passing squad of the cities feeble army. Quite why the Orc captain didn't obliterate them is beyond me."

"I still do not see the problem, lord." It Orc King still found it difficult to call this skinny little man lord, but he had seen this 'skinny little man' do feats of unimagniable power.

"Correct, you do not understand as you do not have the power of one such as me! I have discovered the Grix and his band of clowns have stumbled into my Orc's. They now know about the Triangle Of Trees."

"Do they know the sword is buried there?" The Orc King imagined taking Neville's head off with his axe, of seeing the warm blood spill on the floor as the body slowly crumpled into a heap, the head bouncing down a few seconds later, the thrill of watching the body spasm in the throws of death.

"I do not know exaclty what the group know. But I aim to find out......"

Any managed to wriggle out of SoniRav's grip and go and put himself out.

"Here's a much better plan" Said YH.

"What?" We leave this little job to the army. Why aren't they doing it? Also, why cant they destroy the house? Why don't we fire a burning arrow into the house, and when the orc's come running out we kill them all, excpet the chief, obviously, who we then torture until he tells where where ever whatever it is we're looking for is located?"

This little outburst was met with blank looks from the group.

"You've never been in a story before, have you YH?" asked Grix. YH just shook his head. "It shows"

"You also watch far too many films on TV", chipped in Ant, who was by now only smoking slightly.

"The reason we cant do as you say is quite simple......."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Er-no was mildly surprised, as the arrow flew out of the window and embedded itself in his eyeball. Well technically it was Sniper's eyeball, but you get the drift.

Inside the hut, and things were going slightly worse. The ape had decided to try and unscrew pb's head. A feat it was finding mildly difficult as SHEPPY was hitting it as hard as he could with an apple.

"Crossbo...... shoot him......" Came the gurgled words from pb. His face was going slightly blue by now.

"But... but, he's a wondeful creature, an example of nature's wondeful ways. I can't kill him, it would be murder."

"He's trying to unscrew my head!", pb had managed to shift himself in the ape's grip, his face was now a slightly more natural colour, "Now shoot him!"

SHEEPY grabbed the cross bow and started to aim at the ape.

"Tarquin! Get off that man!" Shouted the old man.

The ape dutifully climbed off of pb, wandered over to the old man, and sat eating peanuts.

"You must finish the test. You have one more apple to hit. Then, it will be time for the final test."

Grix Thraves wrote:
> What the...?

I could say the same thing. By the way, great story, I won't add, I haven't followed it all the way through, and I'm not about to go back and read it all!!

Darkness

What the...?

"Ok..." Ant said, "I've seen this done before."

Ant had drew a square on the ground.

"Is that the house?" Grix asked.

"No... it's a square."

"Oh."

Ant picked up a few rocks. "This rock is Sonicrav, this rock is Meka..." Ant looked for more things... "The bone is Grix... err..." Ant searched for more stuff...

"Your Honour is the twig, and that leaves me being the cigarette."

"What about the orcs?"

"Oh sod. Err... they can be..." Ant felt in his pocket. "Buttons."

"AARRGH!" Meka dived behind a rock...

"What's up with him?"

"Dunno, probably hurt his ankle or something."

Ant spread the buttons around inside the square.

"Me and Meka will be positioned, here." Ant placed the cigarette and a rock at the door.

"Then, Grix," Ant picked up the bone, "and Your Honour," The twig. "Will be around the back, and cause a diversion by throwing two rocks through the window."

"What about Sonicrav?"

"He'll be positioned at the front with me and Meka."

A second stone was placed near the first.

"Then what?"

"Well, the door is locked, so it will need to be picked... we'll have to do it within the time you give us with the diversion."

"How are you going to pick the lock, then?" Your Honour asked Ant, obviously not happy about being in the diversionary part of the plan.

"With... err... a bone, and a twig. If you cut the bone correctly, it can be formed into a hook. The twig can then be used to twist the lock."

Ant moved the buttons over to where Grix and Your Honour were.

"Obviously, you're going to have to run quite fast. Those orcs are pretty accurate with their throwing axes. They'll probably even try to throw the rocks back at you..."

"I'm more scared of axes, for some reason." Grix replied...

Ant moved the two rocks and the cigarette inside the building.

"We then have the element of suprise, and attack the orcs while their backs are turned."

"It's quite a crap plan, Ant." Your Honour muttered, the rest nodded. "A lot could go wrong."

"Yeah, but it probably won't. We're in a story remember? We can't die!"

"So, let me get this straight." Sonicrav said. "Grix and Your Honour are going to throw Meka and me through a window, Ant, Meka, and me try and stick Grix and Your Honour through the door, go inside, and attack the buttons."

Sonicrav picked up Ant, lit him, and began to smoke. "Crap plan."