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Following the recent horrific bombing of rush-hour trains in Spain, President George W Bush gave an historic press conference outside of Camp David where he had retreated for the week to do jigsaws and potato-paintings of tanks.
Standing sombrely safely within the camp, President Bush began his speech, pausing only for dramatic effect and the correct pronunciations of really big words through his ear-piece.
“Ladies and Generalmen, what happened in France is a terrible, terrible act of despicable terror. We show our support and solidarity with that brave country by doing absolutely nothing and privately using this as an excuse to ramp up the Home Protection Act, which gives us powers to look into your brains with big space lasers and see if you are a communist. But rest assured, Al-Queda is to blame. Not ETA or other minor separatist terror groups operating for almost 40 years. Nope, it’s Al-Queda without doubt. I have here some intelligence that proves, beyond any pail of a doubt, that those evil Arabs did it.”
(at this point, it should be noted that President Bush showed an impressively thick sheaf of papers, which he wiggled aloft like a newborn baby. But a baby made of paper and badly-researched intelligence from 12 year old thesis reports downloaded with Kazak)
“So you can see, our detention of people that couldn’t run away fast enough in Afghanhoundiran is entirely justified. Now, I’m aware that major media outlets around the world are criticising Camp X-Ray for torturing people held without charge for over two years. But the actions of evil killer Muslims today prove that surely it’s safer to snatch and torture innocent civilians away from your prying, do-goody eyes than it is to simply let this happen.
Ok, so it did happen despite the moral outrage and international condemnation of the tactics and treatments in Guantanemo. And I grant you, it would appear that the terror attacks in Germany today do indicate that our actions in detaining people without charge indefinitely would actually appear to be doing nothing at all to combat terrorism. But surely you can see how it might be a good thing, and today that is what this is all about.
Al-Queda is an evil, barbaric group and I can conclusively report that they are to blame for everything in the entire world. Take it from me and pa, Hussein was only the first. Many many more former CIA-backed dictators will be brought to justice and whisked to godknows where.
So, Al-Queda does all the bad things in the world. And we suggest that you stay indoors and watch quality entertainment shows on Fox Network and drink lots and lots of alcohol to keep you stupid and oblivious. And should you feel the need to fear and loathe anybody not White Anglo-Saxon, then we shall assist you by creating lots and lots of big movies with Muslims, Arabs and darkies as the villains.
You have nothing to fear but evil-eyed immigrants who wish to do you harm, steal your grandmother and possibly want to borrow your hedge-strimmer and never give it back.”
Following this press conference, most major news networks decided to agree with the unofficial suggestion from government to not report the recently-freed innocent British civilians held without charge and subjected to mental/physical torture. They also agreed to never ever mention Saddam Hussein, indeed a recent poll shows that 87% of the public have completely forgotten about the now-disappeared former “Most Evil Man in The World”.
Chuck Deadweight, 43, said “Hell, ah figured that Hoo-sayn was dead. We saw that eye-raki being yanked from the ground like a weed and stuff, but since then there’s been nothin’ on the toob ‘cept war movies and adverts for beer”
Prime Minster Tony Blair was asked for his opinion, and offered little of interest in between that insincere, crocodile-smile he employs when feeling pressured.
He also refused to comment on the vandal that broke into the House of Commons and scrawled on the despatch box “Blair is a c###” (as in today’s Daily Mail, Express and Times).
Al-Queda spokesman, Neruh-Al-Jihad expressed outrage at the attacks in Spain.
“It sucks man, we’re getting blamed for that and everything else. I swear, we’re the bogeyman now. Used to be, after September 11th, you heard Al-Queda and were afraid. But now we’re responsible for everything from obesity in Americans to the decline in quality of recent Simpson episodes, people are losing the fear and respect we crave. It’s like, the boy who cried Camel and stuff. Pretty soon, Al-Queda will mean nothing, and we’ll have to strike with even more horrific attacks just to keep our membership in the Evil Groups Club”
When asked if the constant linking of Al-Queda to every single little incident anywhere on the planet would mean that, eventually, people thought of them as little more than a footnote in history, instead of the threat that they are, President Bush had this to say:
”Remember the Ayotollah? He was evil for a bit. As was Gadaffi. We used to hate those guys, but after a couple decades of insurgence, US-backed death squads and the rigging of elections to ensure a West-friendly dictator was installed, we like them now. Trust me, in 10 years from now, we’ll be inviting Bin-Laden back to America to chat to Rumsfeld again, like we did with Hussein in the 1980s. Right during his gassing period, strangely! It’s a wacky world I tells ya!”
A poll conducted with the British public to ascertain their feelings on the “War” on terror revealed that the average Briton was more concerned over who would win Big Brother and what happened in Eastenders.
Sociology Professor Dr. Hfuurrhhurrr was quoted as saying “Classic Ostrich syndrome, with the head in the sand and pretending everything is ok, things will never change. As long as it isn’t happening on their doorstep, nobody seems to care really.”
Indeed, it would appear that people are only too happy to read scare stories in tabloid newspapers and view strangers with fear and suspicion.
The Daily Mail knew exactly who is to blame in a 3-page pullout entitled
”Gays! Evil single mum muslim gays die die die”.
This article played up to the stereotype of the illegal immigrant smuggling themselves over inside a banana to move in next door to your granny and try to tempt her into Islam with a nice bit of fish (probably a BOMBFISH!!!!) and also managed to suggest that teenagers having sex were part of the problem.
As it stands, the recent attacks in Spain are being laid firmly at the door of Al-Queda. Whilst this does provide a decent excuse to bump the story of tortured, innocent civilians from the national conscience, it also allows a climate of bigotry, misunderstanding, hate and fear to prevail.
But don’t worry, because Eastenders may be going 5 nights a week soon.
So stay indoors, consume the opiate programming and be safe in the knowledge that your government is combating the war on terror.
By encouraging ignorance, rewarding stupidity and from refusing to even consider spending the billions they do on weapons on educating and helping the poor, young members of a culture that views The West with suspicion, hatred and fear.
A cycle that will never end as long as you keep swallowing lies and excuses instead of demanding action.
Standing sombrely safely within the camp, President Bush began his speech, pausing only for dramatic effect and the correct pronunciations of really big words through his ear-piece.
“Ladies and Generalmen, what happened in France is a terrible, terrible act of despicable terror. We show our support and solidarity with that brave country by doing absolutely nothing and privately using this as an excuse to ramp up the Home Protection Act, which gives us powers to look into your brains with big space lasers and see if you are a communist. But rest assured, Al-Queda is to blame. Not ETA or other minor separatist terror groups operating for almost 40 years. Nope, it’s Al-Queda without doubt. I have here some intelligence that proves, beyond any pail of a doubt, that those evil Arabs did it.”
(at this point, it should be noted that President Bush showed an impressively thick sheaf of papers, which he wiggled aloft like a newborn baby. But a baby made of paper and badly-researched intelligence from 12 year old thesis reports downloaded with Kazak)
“So you can see, our detention of people that couldn’t run away fast enough in Afghanhoundiran is entirely justified. Now, I’m aware that major media outlets around the world are criticising Camp X-Ray for torturing people held without charge for over two years. But the actions of evil killer Muslims today prove that surely it’s safer to snatch and torture innocent civilians away from your prying, do-goody eyes than it is to simply let this happen.
Ok, so it did happen despite the moral outrage and international condemnation of the tactics and treatments in Guantanemo. And I grant you, it would appear that the terror attacks in Germany today do indicate that our actions in detaining people without charge indefinitely would actually appear to be doing nothing at all to combat terrorism. But surely you can see how it might be a good thing, and today that is what this is all about.
Al-Queda is an evil, barbaric group and I can conclusively report that they are to blame for everything in the entire world. Take it from me and pa, Hussein was only the first. Many many more former CIA-backed dictators will be brought to justice and whisked to godknows where.
So, Al-Queda does all the bad things in the world. And we suggest that you stay indoors and watch quality entertainment shows on Fox Network and drink lots and lots of alcohol to keep you stupid and oblivious. And should you feel the need to fear and loathe anybody not White Anglo-Saxon, then we shall assist you by creating lots and lots of big movies with Muslims, Arabs and darkies as the villains.
You have nothing to fear but evil-eyed immigrants who wish to do you harm, steal your grandmother and possibly want to borrow your hedge-strimmer and never give it back.”
Following this press conference, most major news networks decided to agree with the unofficial suggestion from government to not report the recently-freed innocent British civilians held without charge and subjected to mental/physical torture. They also agreed to never ever mention Saddam Hussein, indeed a recent poll shows that 87% of the public have completely forgotten about the now-disappeared former “Most Evil Man in The World”.
Chuck Deadweight, 43, said “Hell, ah figured that Hoo-sayn was dead. We saw that eye-raki being yanked from the ground like a weed and stuff, but since then there’s been nothin’ on the toob ‘cept war movies and adverts for beer”
Prime Minster Tony Blair was asked for his opinion, and offered little of interest in between that insincere, crocodile-smile he employs when feeling pressured.
He also refused to comment on the vandal that broke into the House of Commons and scrawled on the despatch box “Blair is a c###” (as in today’s Daily Mail, Express and Times).
Al-Queda spokesman, Neruh-Al-Jihad expressed outrage at the attacks in Spain.
“It sucks man, we’re getting blamed for that and everything else. I swear, we’re the bogeyman now. Used to be, after September 11th, you heard Al-Queda and were afraid. But now we’re responsible for everything from obesity in Americans to the decline in quality of recent Simpson episodes, people are losing the fear and respect we crave. It’s like, the boy who cried Camel and stuff. Pretty soon, Al-Queda will mean nothing, and we’ll have to strike with even more horrific attacks just to keep our membership in the Evil Groups Club”
When asked if the constant linking of Al-Queda to every single little incident anywhere on the planet would mean that, eventually, people thought of them as little more than a footnote in history, instead of the threat that they are, President Bush had this to say:
”Remember the Ayotollah? He was evil for a bit. As was Gadaffi. We used to hate those guys, but after a couple decades of insurgence, US-backed death squads and the rigging of elections to ensure a West-friendly dictator was installed, we like them now. Trust me, in 10 years from now, we’ll be inviting Bin-Laden back to America to chat to Rumsfeld again, like we did with Hussein in the 1980s. Right during his gassing period, strangely! It’s a wacky world I tells ya!”
A poll conducted with the British public to ascertain their feelings on the “War” on terror revealed that the average Briton was more concerned over who would win Big Brother and what happened in Eastenders.
Sociology Professor Dr. Hfuurrhhurrr was quoted as saying “Classic Ostrich syndrome, with the head in the sand and pretending everything is ok, things will never change. As long as it isn’t happening on their doorstep, nobody seems to care really.”
Indeed, it would appear that people are only too happy to read scare stories in tabloid newspapers and view strangers with fear and suspicion.
The Daily Mail knew exactly who is to blame in a 3-page pullout entitled
”Gays! Evil single mum muslim gays die die die”.
This article played up to the stereotype of the illegal immigrant smuggling themselves over inside a banana to move in next door to your granny and try to tempt her into Islam with a nice bit of fish (probably a BOMBFISH!!!!) and also managed to suggest that teenagers having sex were part of the problem.
As it stands, the recent attacks in Spain are being laid firmly at the door of Al-Queda. Whilst this does provide a decent excuse to bump the story of tortured, innocent civilians from the national conscience, it also allows a climate of bigotry, misunderstanding, hate and fear to prevail.
But don’t worry, because Eastenders may be going 5 nights a week soon.
So stay indoors, consume the opiate programming and be safe in the knowledge that your government is combating the war on terror.
By encouraging ignorance, rewarding stupidity and from refusing to even consider spending the billions they do on weapons on educating and helping the poor, young members of a culture that views The West with suspicion, hatred and fear.
A cycle that will never end as long as you keep swallowing lies and excuses instead of demanding action.
Page:
I don't care, the fact remains your original post pointed fun at anyone saying the Madrid attacks were Al-Qaeda - and that you have made fun of any government claim that Europe and the UK will be hit by Al-Qaeda.
Yep, Guantanamo's a bad idea but you cannot deny those UK citizens released have the most imporbably reasons ever for being where they were. At least those in Guantanamo are still alive, if you'd rather be outraged about that than the deaths of 2000 and injuries of another 1500 that will probably change those peoples live then so be it.
Yep, Guantanamo's a bad idea but you cannot deny those UK citizens released have the most imporbably reasons ever for being where they were. At least those in Guantanamo are still alive, if you'd rather be outraged about that than the deaths of 2000 and injuries of another 1500 that will probably change those peoples live then so be it.
Belldandy wrote:
> Why should I go back on topic when the last post I made on topic was
> followed by Light's pile of off topic?
---------------
You won't go back on topic because you would have to admit you didn't understand the post and your off-topic attacks serve only to highlight just how much you didn't get the thoughts and reasoning behind my post.
You'll dodge, deny, ignore and distract. As always.
Which is far more damning a comment on your performance than a simple "Whoops I did it again".
To quote yourself, "Carry on"
> Why should I go back on topic when the last post I made on topic was
> followed by Light's pile of off topic?
---------------
You won't go back on topic because you would have to admit you didn't understand the post and your off-topic attacks serve only to highlight just how much you didn't get the thoughts and reasoning behind my post.
You'll dodge, deny, ignore and distract. As always.
Which is far more damning a comment on your performance than a simple "Whoops I did it again".
To quote yourself, "Carry on"
Belldandy wrote:
> Exxxxccceeelent. 4 Posts, barely a sentence actually on topic, like
> this one ironically.
--------
Far from it.
You'll see that my 3 posts are directly related on-topic as they address your misunderstanding of the original post and highlight the jaw-droppingly crass thinking you have employed in a scant effort to not appear like somebody that has missed the point.
Again.
I wait for you to address the points, raised to counter your off-topic digs at myself.
> Exxxxccceeelent. 4 Posts, barely a sentence actually on topic, like
> this one ironically.
--------
Far from it.
You'll see that my 3 posts are directly related on-topic as they address your misunderstanding of the original post and highlight the jaw-droppingly crass thinking you have employed in a scant effort to not appear like somebody that has missed the point.
Again.
I wait for you to address the points, raised to counter your off-topic digs at myself.
Why should I go back on topic when the last post I made on topic was followed by Light's pile of off topic?
Let's face it, Life forum is now just one big argument fest for the most part...
Let's face it, Life forum is now just one big argument fest for the most part...
I notice, Bell, that you have chosen to not reply to my 3 posts highlighting your ignorance of the topic.
And I also notice, that despite your oh-so-superior plea for getting back on topic, you've not done so.
Which I take as full vindication of you misunderstanding the topic, trying to highlight inconsistencies with an original topic that also attributed the decline in Simpson episodes with a terror group and completely failing to grasp the point of this original thread.
You also seem to choose not to address the part where you say
"I fail to see any real evidence of the blame being layed firmly...", ignore every single daily newspaper last Friday and simply jump to saying "Evidence points to Al-Qaeda" - thereby making your original comment redundant by your own further post, and also highlighting the 180 degree turn of your opinion in just 3 posts.
And I also notice, that despite your oh-so-superior plea for getting back on topic, you've not done so.
Which I take as full vindication of you misunderstanding the topic, trying to highlight inconsistencies with an original topic that also attributed the decline in Simpson episodes with a terror group and completely failing to grasp the point of this original thread.
You also seem to choose not to address the part where you say
"I fail to see any real evidence of the blame being layed firmly...", ignore every single daily newspaper last Friday and simply jump to saying "Evidence points to Al-Qaeda" - thereby making your original comment redundant by your own further post, and also highlighting the 180 degree turn of your opinion in just 3 posts.
Hedfix wrote:
> What do you do again?
I'm a student actually, what do you do? Hmmm....?
> What do you do again?
I'm a student actually, what do you do? Hmmm....?
Is that the best you can do Hedfix? You're sad imitation of Light is quite lacking, especially since you've barely voiced an opinion.
Belldandy wrote:
> Finals? Oh deary me, get with the times sir...
Look out somebody doesn't know everything Bell knows... I do know something only Bell thinks he knows... it's 1 inch I swear to god.
>
> Nice fulfilling job you have I see...
What do you do again?
preparing Hussein's defence are
> you?
That would make sense since you jump to Bush's at the drop of a texan hat.
> Oh you wouldn't be able to would you? You were thrown out of
> that stupid lawyers thing...ha, spend ages training to be a lawyer
> only to be thrown out? Nice one.
At least he got to the training stage, I've seen special observe and Light's not the only one in need of some 'training'.
>
> And, resorting to insults? Well you are a liberal...
Ah stereotypes the last resort of desperate fools, after going after someone's political affiliations.
Well done Bell I didn't think you could come across as more of a fool in this thread but you've proven me wrong once again.
> Finals? Oh deary me, get with the times sir...
Look out somebody doesn't know everything Bell knows... I do know something only Bell thinks he knows... it's 1 inch I swear to god.
>
> Nice fulfilling job you have I see...
What do you do again?
preparing Hussein's defence are
> you?
That would make sense since you jump to Bush's at the drop of a texan hat.
> Oh you wouldn't be able to would you? You were thrown out of
> that stupid lawyers thing...ha, spend ages training to be a lawyer
> only to be thrown out? Nice one.
At least he got to the training stage, I've seen special observe and Light's not the only one in need of some 'training'.
>
> And, resorting to insults? Well you are a liberal...
Ah stereotypes the last resort of desperate fools, after going after someone's political affiliations.
Well done Bell I didn't think you could come across as more of a fool in this thread but you've proven me wrong once again.
Belldandy wrote:
> Nope, most university course are based on a credit system now.
>
> Your final degree is made up like this;
>
> 6 modules in second year completed. When the 6 overall percentages
> are calculated you need to have a minimum of 40% (which is stupidly
> easy) to continue at the University. Your final overall average score
> for this second year makes up 30% of your final mark. so, if you came
> out of the second year with an average of 70% then you effectively
> have 21 marks out of a possible 30 towards your final degree.
>
> 6 modules in third year, one of which is dissertation. Again, you
> must get a minimum of 40% to even stay on. The final average mark of
> all 6 modules makes up the remaining 70% of your final mark, so if
> your third year mark average was 70% again then thats 49 marks
> towards your final degree from a possible of 70.
>
> Both year marks are added together to give a score - in this example
> a total of 70, which is just in the First Degree classification. It
> is possible, depending on your marks over the the two years and your
> dissertation, to be bumped up to a first if your average is in the
> high 60's.
>
> Hence, there are no finals - work towards your final degree class
> starts with the first piece of assessment or exam back in the second
> year.
>
> As it stands, right now the only work I have outstanding is my
> dissertation, which needs one chapter finishing and an introduction
> writing as well as a bit of tidying up. and two exams in late
> May/early June. both pieces of courswork for this term were completed
> well before their hand in dates of (I think) April 5th,
Yeah? Okay, fair enough. Believe it or not, I found that interesting.
Just one thing though; don't ever complain about people 'changing the subject'. Oh, and drop your whining about anyone who veers off topic, cos this is perhaps the clearest example of you doing so, 'kay?
Actually, one more thing; you're still avoiding addressing Goaty and Snugglys posts.
> Nope, most university course are based on a credit system now.
>
> Your final degree is made up like this;
>
> 6 modules in second year completed. When the 6 overall percentages
> are calculated you need to have a minimum of 40% (which is stupidly
> easy) to continue at the University. Your final overall average score
> for this second year makes up 30% of your final mark. so, if you came
> out of the second year with an average of 70% then you effectively
> have 21 marks out of a possible 30 towards your final degree.
>
> 6 modules in third year, one of which is dissertation. Again, you
> must get a minimum of 40% to even stay on. The final average mark of
> all 6 modules makes up the remaining 70% of your final mark, so if
> your third year mark average was 70% again then thats 49 marks
> towards your final degree from a possible of 70.
>
> Both year marks are added together to give a score - in this example
> a total of 70, which is just in the First Degree classification. It
> is possible, depending on your marks over the the two years and your
> dissertation, to be bumped up to a first if your average is in the
> high 60's.
>
> Hence, there are no finals - work towards your final degree class
> starts with the first piece of assessment or exam back in the second
> year.
>
> As it stands, right now the only work I have outstanding is my
> dissertation, which needs one chapter finishing and an introduction
> writing as well as a bit of tidying up. and two exams in late
> May/early June. both pieces of courswork for this term were completed
> well before their hand in dates of (I think) April 5th,
Yeah? Okay, fair enough. Believe it or not, I found that interesting.
Just one thing though; don't ever complain about people 'changing the subject'. Oh, and drop your whining about anyone who veers off topic, cos this is perhaps the clearest example of you doing so, 'kay?
Actually, one more thing; you're still avoiding addressing Goaty and Snugglys posts.
Nope, most university course are based on a credit system now.
Your final degree is made up like this;
6 modules in second year completed. When the 6 overall percentages are calculated you need to have a minimum of 40% (which is stupidly easy) to continue at the University. Your final overall average score for this second year makes up 30% of your final mark. so, if you came out of the second year with an average of 70% then you effectively have 21 marks out of a possible 30 towards your final degree.
6 modules in third year, one of which is dissertation. Again, you must get a minimum of 40% to even stay on. The final average mark of all 6 modules makes up the remaining 70% of your final mark, so if your third year mark average was 70% again then thats 49 marks towards your final degree from a possible of 70.
Both year marks are added together to give a score - in this example a total of 70, which is just in the First Degree classification. It is possible, depending on your marks over the the two years and your dissertation, to be bumped up to a first if your average is in the high 60's.
Hence, there are no finals - work towards your final degree class starts with the first piece of assessment or exam back in the second year.
As it stands, right now the only work I have outstanding is my dissertation, which needs one chapter finishing and an introduction writing as well as a bit of tidying up. and two exams in late May/early June. both pieces of courswork for this term were completed well before their hand in dates of (I think) April 5th,
Your final degree is made up like this;
6 modules in second year completed. When the 6 overall percentages are calculated you need to have a minimum of 40% (which is stupidly easy) to continue at the University. Your final overall average score for this second year makes up 30% of your final mark. so, if you came out of the second year with an average of 70% then you effectively have 21 marks out of a possible 30 towards your final degree.
6 modules in third year, one of which is dissertation. Again, you must get a minimum of 40% to even stay on. The final average mark of all 6 modules makes up the remaining 70% of your final mark, so if your third year mark average was 70% again then thats 49 marks towards your final degree from a possible of 70.
Both year marks are added together to give a score - in this example a total of 70, which is just in the First Degree classification. It is possible, depending on your marks over the the two years and your dissertation, to be bumped up to a first if your average is in the high 60's.
Hence, there are no finals - work towards your final degree class starts with the first piece of assessment or exam back in the second year.
As it stands, right now the only work I have outstanding is my dissertation, which needs one chapter finishing and an introduction writing as well as a bit of tidying up. and two exams in late May/early June. both pieces of courswork for this term were completed well before their hand in dates of (I think) April 5th,
Page: