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Following the recent horrific bombing of rush-hour trains in Spain, President George W Bush gave an historic press conference outside of Camp David where he had retreated for the week to do jigsaws and potato-paintings of tanks.
Standing sombrely safely within the camp, President Bush began his speech, pausing only for dramatic effect and the correct pronunciations of really big words through his ear-piece.
“Ladies and Generalmen, what happened in France is a terrible, terrible act of despicable terror. We show our support and solidarity with that brave country by doing absolutely nothing and privately using this as an excuse to ramp up the Home Protection Act, which gives us powers to look into your brains with big space lasers and see if you are a communist. But rest assured, Al-Queda is to blame. Not ETA or other minor separatist terror groups operating for almost 40 years. Nope, it’s Al-Queda without doubt. I have here some intelligence that proves, beyond any pail of a doubt, that those evil Arabs did it.”
(at this point, it should be noted that President Bush showed an impressively thick sheaf of papers, which he wiggled aloft like a newborn baby. But a baby made of paper and badly-researched intelligence from 12 year old thesis reports downloaded with Kazak)
“So you can see, our detention of people that couldn’t run away fast enough in Afghanhoundiran is entirely justified. Now, I’m aware that major media outlets around the world are criticising Camp X-Ray for torturing people held without charge for over two years. But the actions of evil killer Muslims today prove that surely it’s safer to snatch and torture innocent civilians away from your prying, do-goody eyes than it is to simply let this happen.
Ok, so it did happen despite the moral outrage and international condemnation of the tactics and treatments in Guantanemo. And I grant you, it would appear that the terror attacks in Germany today do indicate that our actions in detaining people without charge indefinitely would actually appear to be doing nothing at all to combat terrorism. But surely you can see how it might be a good thing, and today that is what this is all about.
Al-Queda is an evil, barbaric group and I can conclusively report that they are to blame for everything in the entire world. Take it from me and pa, Hussein was only the first. Many many more former CIA-backed dictators will be brought to justice and whisked to godknows where.
So, Al-Queda does all the bad things in the world. And we suggest that you stay indoors and watch quality entertainment shows on Fox Network and drink lots and lots of alcohol to keep you stupid and oblivious. And should you feel the need to fear and loathe anybody not White Anglo-Saxon, then we shall assist you by creating lots and lots of big movies with Muslims, Arabs and darkies as the villains.
You have nothing to fear but evil-eyed immigrants who wish to do you harm, steal your grandmother and possibly want to borrow your hedge-strimmer and never give it back.”
Following this press conference, most major news networks decided to agree with the unofficial suggestion from government to not report the recently-freed innocent British civilians held without charge and subjected to mental/physical torture. They also agreed to never ever mention Saddam Hussein, indeed a recent poll shows that 87% of the public have completely forgotten about the now-disappeared former “Most Evil Man in The World”.
Chuck Deadweight, 43, said “Hell, ah figured that Hoo-sayn was dead. We saw that eye-raki being yanked from the ground like a weed and stuff, but since then there’s been nothin’ on the toob ‘cept war movies and adverts for beer”
Prime Minster Tony Blair was asked for his opinion, and offered little of interest in between that insincere, crocodile-smile he employs when feeling pressured.
He also refused to comment on the vandal that broke into the House of Commons and scrawled on the despatch box “Blair is a c###” (as in today’s Daily Mail, Express and Times).
Al-Queda spokesman, Neruh-Al-Jihad expressed outrage at the attacks in Spain.
“It sucks man, we’re getting blamed for that and everything else. I swear, we’re the bogeyman now. Used to be, after September 11th, you heard Al-Queda and were afraid. But now we’re responsible for everything from obesity in Americans to the decline in quality of recent Simpson episodes, people are losing the fear and respect we crave. It’s like, the boy who cried Camel and stuff. Pretty soon, Al-Queda will mean nothing, and we’ll have to strike with even more horrific attacks just to keep our membership in the Evil Groups Club”
When asked if the constant linking of Al-Queda to every single little incident anywhere on the planet would mean that, eventually, people thought of them as little more than a footnote in history, instead of the threat that they are, President Bush had this to say:
”Remember the Ayotollah? He was evil for a bit. As was Gadaffi. We used to hate those guys, but after a couple decades of insurgence, US-backed death squads and the rigging of elections to ensure a West-friendly dictator was installed, we like them now. Trust me, in 10 years from now, we’ll be inviting Bin-Laden back to America to chat to Rumsfeld again, like we did with Hussein in the 1980s. Right during his gassing period, strangely! It’s a wacky world I tells ya!”
A poll conducted with the British public to ascertain their feelings on the “War” on terror revealed that the average Briton was more concerned over who would win Big Brother and what happened in Eastenders.
Sociology Professor Dr. Hfuurrhhurrr was quoted as saying “Classic Ostrich syndrome, with the head in the sand and pretending everything is ok, things will never change. As long as it isn’t happening on their doorstep, nobody seems to care really.”
Indeed, it would appear that people are only too happy to read scare stories in tabloid newspapers and view strangers with fear and suspicion.
The Daily Mail knew exactly who is to blame in a 3-page pullout entitled
”Gays! Evil single mum muslim gays die die die”.
This article played up to the stereotype of the illegal immigrant smuggling themselves over inside a banana to move in next door to your granny and try to tempt her into Islam with a nice bit of fish (probably a BOMBFISH!!!!) and also managed to suggest that teenagers having sex were part of the problem.
As it stands, the recent attacks in Spain are being laid firmly at the door of Al-Queda. Whilst this does provide a decent excuse to bump the story of tortured, innocent civilians from the national conscience, it also allows a climate of bigotry, misunderstanding, hate and fear to prevail.
But don’t worry, because Eastenders may be going 5 nights a week soon.
So stay indoors, consume the opiate programming and be safe in the knowledge that your government is combating the war on terror.
By encouraging ignorance, rewarding stupidity and from refusing to even consider spending the billions they do on weapons on educating and helping the poor, young members of a culture that views The West with suspicion, hatred and fear.
A cycle that will never end as long as you keep swallowing lies and excuses instead of demanding action.
Standing sombrely safely within the camp, President Bush began his speech, pausing only for dramatic effect and the correct pronunciations of really big words through his ear-piece.
“Ladies and Generalmen, what happened in France is a terrible, terrible act of despicable terror. We show our support and solidarity with that brave country by doing absolutely nothing and privately using this as an excuse to ramp up the Home Protection Act, which gives us powers to look into your brains with big space lasers and see if you are a communist. But rest assured, Al-Queda is to blame. Not ETA or other minor separatist terror groups operating for almost 40 years. Nope, it’s Al-Queda without doubt. I have here some intelligence that proves, beyond any pail of a doubt, that those evil Arabs did it.”
(at this point, it should be noted that President Bush showed an impressively thick sheaf of papers, which he wiggled aloft like a newborn baby. But a baby made of paper and badly-researched intelligence from 12 year old thesis reports downloaded with Kazak)
“So you can see, our detention of people that couldn’t run away fast enough in Afghanhoundiran is entirely justified. Now, I’m aware that major media outlets around the world are criticising Camp X-Ray for torturing people held without charge for over two years. But the actions of evil killer Muslims today prove that surely it’s safer to snatch and torture innocent civilians away from your prying, do-goody eyes than it is to simply let this happen.
Ok, so it did happen despite the moral outrage and international condemnation of the tactics and treatments in Guantanemo. And I grant you, it would appear that the terror attacks in Germany today do indicate that our actions in detaining people without charge indefinitely would actually appear to be doing nothing at all to combat terrorism. But surely you can see how it might be a good thing, and today that is what this is all about.
Al-Queda is an evil, barbaric group and I can conclusively report that they are to blame for everything in the entire world. Take it from me and pa, Hussein was only the first. Many many more former CIA-backed dictators will be brought to justice and whisked to godknows where.
So, Al-Queda does all the bad things in the world. And we suggest that you stay indoors and watch quality entertainment shows on Fox Network and drink lots and lots of alcohol to keep you stupid and oblivious. And should you feel the need to fear and loathe anybody not White Anglo-Saxon, then we shall assist you by creating lots and lots of big movies with Muslims, Arabs and darkies as the villains.
You have nothing to fear but evil-eyed immigrants who wish to do you harm, steal your grandmother and possibly want to borrow your hedge-strimmer and never give it back.”
Following this press conference, most major news networks decided to agree with the unofficial suggestion from government to not report the recently-freed innocent British civilians held without charge and subjected to mental/physical torture. They also agreed to never ever mention Saddam Hussein, indeed a recent poll shows that 87% of the public have completely forgotten about the now-disappeared former “Most Evil Man in The World”.
Chuck Deadweight, 43, said “Hell, ah figured that Hoo-sayn was dead. We saw that eye-raki being yanked from the ground like a weed and stuff, but since then there’s been nothin’ on the toob ‘cept war movies and adverts for beer”
Prime Minster Tony Blair was asked for his opinion, and offered little of interest in between that insincere, crocodile-smile he employs when feeling pressured.
He also refused to comment on the vandal that broke into the House of Commons and scrawled on the despatch box “Blair is a c###” (as in today’s Daily Mail, Express and Times).
Al-Queda spokesman, Neruh-Al-Jihad expressed outrage at the attacks in Spain.
“It sucks man, we’re getting blamed for that and everything else. I swear, we’re the bogeyman now. Used to be, after September 11th, you heard Al-Queda and were afraid. But now we’re responsible for everything from obesity in Americans to the decline in quality of recent Simpson episodes, people are losing the fear and respect we crave. It’s like, the boy who cried Camel and stuff. Pretty soon, Al-Queda will mean nothing, and we’ll have to strike with even more horrific attacks just to keep our membership in the Evil Groups Club”
When asked if the constant linking of Al-Queda to every single little incident anywhere on the planet would mean that, eventually, people thought of them as little more than a footnote in history, instead of the threat that they are, President Bush had this to say:
”Remember the Ayotollah? He was evil for a bit. As was Gadaffi. We used to hate those guys, but after a couple decades of insurgence, US-backed death squads and the rigging of elections to ensure a West-friendly dictator was installed, we like them now. Trust me, in 10 years from now, we’ll be inviting Bin-Laden back to America to chat to Rumsfeld again, like we did with Hussein in the 1980s. Right during his gassing period, strangely! It’s a wacky world I tells ya!”
A poll conducted with the British public to ascertain their feelings on the “War” on terror revealed that the average Briton was more concerned over who would win Big Brother and what happened in Eastenders.
Sociology Professor Dr. Hfuurrhhurrr was quoted as saying “Classic Ostrich syndrome, with the head in the sand and pretending everything is ok, things will never change. As long as it isn’t happening on their doorstep, nobody seems to care really.”
Indeed, it would appear that people are only too happy to read scare stories in tabloid newspapers and view strangers with fear and suspicion.
The Daily Mail knew exactly who is to blame in a 3-page pullout entitled
”Gays! Evil single mum muslim gays die die die”.
This article played up to the stereotype of the illegal immigrant smuggling themselves over inside a banana to move in next door to your granny and try to tempt her into Islam with a nice bit of fish (probably a BOMBFISH!!!!) and also managed to suggest that teenagers having sex were part of the problem.
As it stands, the recent attacks in Spain are being laid firmly at the door of Al-Queda. Whilst this does provide a decent excuse to bump the story of tortured, innocent civilians from the national conscience, it also allows a climate of bigotry, misunderstanding, hate and fear to prevail.
But don’t worry, because Eastenders may be going 5 nights a week soon.
So stay indoors, consume the opiate programming and be safe in the knowledge that your government is combating the war on terror.
By encouraging ignorance, rewarding stupidity and from refusing to even consider spending the billions they do on weapons on educating and helping the poor, young members of a culture that views The West with suspicion, hatred and fear.
A cycle that will never end as long as you keep swallowing lies and excuses instead of demanding action.
Page:
Azul wrote:
>
> I really must keep up with this.
Heh. It's like a little hate-fuelled soap opera sometimes innit?
"Will Bell find a new way to avoid questions, or will he stick with the old tried, tested, and failed routine?s Will he continue to resort to badly faked moral outrage to attempt to guilt trip people into leaving him alone? And will Light and Goaty ever tire of carrying out Bill Hicks' exhortation to pop fevered ego's like Bells which are making us pay a higher psychic price than we realise? Tune in next time..."
>
> I really must keep up with this.
Heh. It's like a little hate-fuelled soap opera sometimes innit?
"Will Bell find a new way to avoid questions, or will he stick with the old tried, tested, and failed routine?s Will he continue to resort to badly faked moral outrage to attempt to guilt trip people into leaving him alone? And will Light and Goaty ever tire of carrying out Bill Hicks' exhortation to pop fevered ego's like Bells which are making us pay a higher psychic price than we realise? Tune in next time..."
Light wrote:
> Belldandy wrote:
> I don't care, the fact remains your original post pointed fun at
> anyone saying the Madrid attacks were Al-Qaeda - and that you have
> made fun of any government claim that Europe and the UK will be hit
> by Al-Qaeda.
>
> Hi, aren't you the vast pile of cake filled intestines who lost his
> right to fake moral outrage when he had a pop at Goatboy about his
> uncle who was killed in the 9/11 attack?
Aha. Touché, monsieur.
I really must keep up with this.
> Belldandy wrote:
> I don't care, the fact remains your original post pointed fun at
> anyone saying the Madrid attacks were Al-Qaeda - and that you have
> made fun of any government claim that Europe and the UK will be hit
> by Al-Qaeda.
>
> Hi, aren't you the vast pile of cake filled intestines who lost his
> right to fake moral outrage when he had a pop at Goatboy about his
> uncle who was killed in the 9/11 attack?
Aha. Touché, monsieur.
I really must keep up with this.
Belldandy wrote:
> Humour? Since when was terrorism, which ends up with dead people, a
> worthy subject of humour?
He does indeed have a point.
> Humour? Since when was terrorism, which ends up with dead people, a
> worthy subject of humour?
He does indeed have a point.
Belldandy wrote:
> I don't care, the fact remains your original post pointed fun at
> anyone saying the Madrid attacks were Al-Qaeda - and that you have
> made fun of any government claim that Europe and the UK will be hit
> by Al-Qaeda.
Hi, aren't you the vast pile of cake filled intestines who lost his right to fake moral outrage when he had a pop at Goatboy about his uncle who was killed in the 9/11 attack?
>
> Yep, Guantanamo's a bad idea but you cannot deny those UK citizens
> released have the most imporbably reasons ever for being where they
> were. At least those in Guantanamo are still alive, if you'd rather
> be outraged about that than the deaths of 2000 and injuries of
> another 1500 that will probably change those peoples live then so be
> it.
So improbable that they were released without charge after 2 years of investigation and quesioning? Not all in Guantanamo are still alive; some have been beaten to death by US soldiers. And your figures for death and injuries...I'm intrigued; why do you think that 5 men released without any charge and completely innocent of any wrongdoing would be the cause of those deaths? Oh, and I refer you to the previous paragraph about your faked moral outrage.
> I don't care, the fact remains your original post pointed fun at
> anyone saying the Madrid attacks were Al-Qaeda - and that you have
> made fun of any government claim that Europe and the UK will be hit
> by Al-Qaeda.
Hi, aren't you the vast pile of cake filled intestines who lost his right to fake moral outrage when he had a pop at Goatboy about his uncle who was killed in the 9/11 attack?
>
> Yep, Guantanamo's a bad idea but you cannot deny those UK citizens
> released have the most imporbably reasons ever for being where they
> were. At least those in Guantanamo are still alive, if you'd rather
> be outraged about that than the deaths of 2000 and injuries of
> another 1500 that will probably change those peoples live then so be
> it.
So improbable that they were released without charge after 2 years of investigation and quesioning? Not all in Guantanamo are still alive; some have been beaten to death by US soldiers. And your figures for death and injuries...I'm intrigued; why do you think that 5 men released without any charge and completely innocent of any wrongdoing would be the cause of those deaths? Oh, and I refer you to the previous paragraph about your faked moral outrage.
Mr Snuggly wrote:
> Belldandy wrote:
> Well I'm still failing to see a great deal of evidence that the
> media
> is laying the Madrid attacks "firmly on Al-Qaeda"...
> -------
>
>
> Hmm, the Express headline at the weekends, plus countless other Daily
> Mail headlines have all read thusly:
>
> "WAS IT AL-QAEDA?"
> "IT COULD HAVE BEEN AL-QAEDA"
> "THIS WAS PROBABLY AL-QAEDA"
> "I KNOW THIS HANDIWORK, IT COULD ONLY BE AL-QAEDA"
Not to mention the Daily Mail (I think... and anyway, it probably was...)
"OSAMA BIN LADEN DID IT!"
God bless the 'Mail.
> Belldandy wrote:
> Well I'm still failing to see a great deal of evidence that the
> media
> is laying the Madrid attacks "firmly on Al-Qaeda"...
> -------
>
>
> Hmm, the Express headline at the weekends, plus countless other Daily
> Mail headlines have all read thusly:
>
> "WAS IT AL-QAEDA?"
> "IT COULD HAVE BEEN AL-QAEDA"
> "THIS WAS PROBABLY AL-QAEDA"
> "I KNOW THIS HANDIWORK, IT COULD ONLY BE AL-QAEDA"
Not to mention the Daily Mail (I think... and anyway, it probably was...)
"OSAMA BIN LADEN DID IT!"
God bless the 'Mail.
Belldandy wrote:
>
> Except the fact is you are a student as well, hence going down the
> "what do you do" road of questioning was rather stupid.
> Hence you're inability to reply.
HAHAHAHAHAHA. Love the reasoning: "He hasn't told me what he does therefore he must also be a student".
Yes, that makes perfect sense.
>
> Except the fact is you are a student as well, hence going down the
> "what do you do" road of questioning was rather stupid.
> Hence you're inability to reply.
HAHAHAHAHAHA. Love the reasoning: "He hasn't told me what he does therefore he must also be a student".
Yes, that makes perfect sense.
Belldandy wrote:
> So, avoidance aside, what you actually do Hedfix?
Bwahahahahahahaaaaa! Avoidance? Heh...that's nice. Especially on a thread that is a textbook example of a fat and rather pointless coward with self-esteem issues running from addressing relevant posts.
>
> Because otherwise your criticisms of avoiding topics become rather
> worthless.
So...using your logic, considering all of the threads where you've avoided addressing a point, that means every other thing you write is worthless?
>
> I'd also bet that without google you'd struggle to know what Human
> Geography even was or involved.
Well, I'm sure it'll come in handy in your chosen career of retail management...(and yes, I do know about the study of things like CBD's, urban and rural migration patterns, and other such fun things that you'll refer to in an attempt to prove that you are vaguely worthwhile as a human being)
By the way, do you just say that everyone who pokes fun at you is copying Goaty and I? Just that...well, did it ever occur to you that their poking fun at you has nothing to do with either of us, and everything to do with you being perhaps the longest running joke since...well, since you?
> So, avoidance aside, what you actually do Hedfix?
Bwahahahahahahaaaaa! Avoidance? Heh...that's nice. Especially on a thread that is a textbook example of a fat and rather pointless coward with self-esteem issues running from addressing relevant posts.
>
> Because otherwise your criticisms of avoiding topics become rather
> worthless.
So...using your logic, considering all of the threads where you've avoided addressing a point, that means every other thing you write is worthless?
>
> I'd also bet that without google you'd struggle to know what Human
> Geography even was or involved.
Well, I'm sure it'll come in handy in your chosen career of retail management...(and yes, I do know about the study of things like CBD's, urban and rural migration patterns, and other such fun things that you'll refer to in an attempt to prove that you are vaguely worthwhile as a human being)
By the way, do you just say that everyone who pokes fun at you is copying Goaty and I? Just that...well, did it ever occur to you that their poking fun at you has nothing to do with either of us, and everything to do with you being perhaps the longest running joke since...well, since you?
Pesky &**(ing work internet connection....
Hedfix wrote:
> Ha ha! Excellent. I'm ignoring Bell's questions.
>
> A superb irony.
Except the fact is you are a student as well, hence going down the "what do you do" road of questioning was rather stupid. Hence you're inability to reply.
> Ha ha! Excellent. I'm ignoring Bell's questions.
>
> A superb irony.
Except the fact is you are a student as well, hence going down the "what do you do" road of questioning was rather stupid. Hence you're inability to reply.
I didn't use google, but since you think I did: is it really porn then?
Page: