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"Al-Queda "responsible for everything bad""

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Sat 13/03/04 at 12:09
Regular
"Infantalised Forums"
Posts: 23,089
Following the recent horrific bombing of rush-hour trains in Spain, President George W Bush gave an historic press conference outside of Camp David where he had retreated for the week to do jigsaws and potato-paintings of tanks.
Standing sombrely safely within the camp, President Bush began his speech, pausing only for dramatic effect and the correct pronunciations of really big words through his ear-piece.

“Ladies and Generalmen, what happened in France is a terrible, terrible act of despicable terror. We show our support and solidarity with that brave country by doing absolutely nothing and privately using this as an excuse to ramp up the Home Protection Act, which gives us powers to look into your brains with big space lasers and see if you are a communist. But rest assured, Al-Queda is to blame. Not ETA or other minor separatist terror groups operating for almost 40 years. Nope, it’s Al-Queda without doubt. I have here some intelligence that proves, beyond any pail of a doubt, that those evil Arabs did it.”
(at this point, it should be noted that President Bush showed an impressively thick sheaf of papers, which he wiggled aloft like a newborn baby. But a baby made of paper and badly-researched intelligence from 12 year old thesis reports downloaded with Kazak)

“So you can see, our detention of people that couldn’t run away fast enough in Afghanhoundiran is entirely justified. Now, I’m aware that major media outlets around the world are criticising Camp X-Ray for torturing people held without charge for over two years. But the actions of evil killer Muslims today prove that surely it’s safer to snatch and torture innocent civilians away from your prying, do-goody eyes than it is to simply let this happen.
Ok, so it did happen despite the moral outrage and international condemnation of the tactics and treatments in Guantanemo. And I grant you, it would appear that the terror attacks in Germany today do indicate that our actions in detaining people without charge indefinitely would actually appear to be doing nothing at all to combat terrorism. But surely you can see how it might be a good thing, and today that is what this is all about.
Al-Queda is an evil, barbaric group and I can conclusively report that they are to blame for everything in the entire world. Take it from me and pa, Hussein was only the first. Many many more former CIA-backed dictators will be brought to justice and whisked to godknows where.
So, Al-Queda does all the bad things in the world. And we suggest that you stay indoors and watch quality entertainment shows on Fox Network and drink lots and lots of alcohol to keep you stupid and oblivious. And should you feel the need to fear and loathe anybody not White Anglo-Saxon, then we shall assist you by creating lots and lots of big movies with Muslims, Arabs and darkies as the villains.
You have nothing to fear but evil-eyed immigrants who wish to do you harm, steal your grandmother and possibly want to borrow your hedge-strimmer and never give it back.”

Following this press conference, most major news networks decided to agree with the unofficial suggestion from government to not report the recently-freed innocent British civilians held without charge and subjected to mental/physical torture. They also agreed to never ever mention Saddam Hussein, indeed a recent poll shows that 87% of the public have completely forgotten about the now-disappeared former “Most Evil Man in The World”.
Chuck Deadweight, 43, said “Hell, ah figured that Hoo-sayn was dead. We saw that eye-raki being yanked from the ground like a weed and stuff, but since then there’s been nothin’ on the toob ‘cept war movies and adverts for beer”

Prime Minster Tony Blair was asked for his opinion, and offered little of interest in between that insincere, crocodile-smile he employs when feeling pressured.
He also refused to comment on the vandal that broke into the House of Commons and scrawled on the despatch box “Blair is a c###” (as in today’s Daily Mail, Express and Times).

Al-Queda spokesman, Neruh-Al-Jihad expressed outrage at the attacks in Spain.
“It sucks man, we’re getting blamed for that and everything else. I swear, we’re the bogeyman now. Used to be, after September 11th, you heard Al-Queda and were afraid. But now we’re responsible for everything from obesity in Americans to the decline in quality of recent Simpson episodes, people are losing the fear and respect we crave. It’s like, the boy who cried Camel and stuff. Pretty soon, Al-Queda will mean nothing, and we’ll have to strike with even more horrific attacks just to keep our membership in the Evil Groups Club”

When asked if the constant linking of Al-Queda to every single little incident anywhere on the planet would mean that, eventually, people thought of them as little more than a footnote in history, instead of the threat that they are, President Bush had this to say:
”Remember the Ayotollah? He was evil for a bit. As was Gadaffi. We used to hate those guys, but after a couple decades of insurgence, US-backed death squads and the rigging of elections to ensure a West-friendly dictator was installed, we like them now. Trust me, in 10 years from now, we’ll be inviting Bin-Laden back to America to chat to Rumsfeld again, like we did with Hussein in the 1980s. Right during his gassing period, strangely! It’s a wacky world I tells ya!”

A poll conducted with the British public to ascertain their feelings on the “War” on terror revealed that the average Briton was more concerned over who would win Big Brother and what happened in Eastenders.
Sociology Professor Dr. Hfuurrhhurrr was quoted as saying “Classic Ostrich syndrome, with the head in the sand and pretending everything is ok, things will never change. As long as it isn’t happening on their doorstep, nobody seems to care really.”
Indeed, it would appear that people are only too happy to read scare stories in tabloid newspapers and view strangers with fear and suspicion.
The Daily Mail knew exactly who is to blame in a 3-page pullout entitled
”Gays! Evil single mum muslim gays die die die”.
This article played up to the stereotype of the illegal immigrant smuggling themselves over inside a banana to move in next door to your granny and try to tempt her into Islam with a nice bit of fish (probably a BOMBFISH!!!!) and also managed to suggest that teenagers having sex were part of the problem.

As it stands, the recent attacks in Spain are being laid firmly at the door of Al-Queda. Whilst this does provide a decent excuse to bump the story of tortured, innocent civilians from the national conscience, it also allows a climate of bigotry, misunderstanding, hate and fear to prevail.
But don’t worry, because Eastenders may be going 5 nights a week soon.
So stay indoors, consume the opiate programming and be safe in the knowledge that your government is combating the war on terror.
By encouraging ignorance, rewarding stupidity and from refusing to even consider spending the billions they do on weapons on educating and helping the poor, young members of a culture that views The West with suspicion, hatred and fear.
A cycle that will never end as long as you keep swallowing lies and excuses instead of demanding action.
Tue 16/03/04 at 09:44
Regular
"Wanking Mong"
Posts: 4,884
Belldandy wrote:
> Finals? Oh deary me, get with the times sir...

Hmm...so that post from a few weeks ago where you say you're finishing uni soon and were looking for some advice on what to do...that was just you filling in time between anime porn downloads then?
>
> Nice fulfilling job you have I see...preparing Hussein's defence are
> you? Oh you wouldn't be able to would you? You were thrown out of
> that stupid lawyers thing...ha, spend ages training to be a lawyer
> only to be thrown out? Nice one.
>
> And, resorting to insults? Well you are a liberal...

Uhh....I think you'll find that taking the moral high ground about insults falls rather flat after you've just...well, I think you were insulting me, right?Meheheheheheheheh...now you see, to bait someone then that someone has to care what you think about them. And I think it helps if they pretend to be doing anything other than killing time by delivering a verbal raping to his favourite victim. So, moving on....

I see you're still avoiding the posts from Goatboy...oh, and you've moved onto other threads I'm active on to try and prove that you're not really interested in anything other than trolling. Funny...you only get interested in trolling when you've just been utterly and totally humiliated, like in this thread. You'd have thought being a chubby friendless coward would be humiliation enough, so lord knows why you feel the need to increase the scope for being made to look like a fool.

So; gonna keep concentrating on the posts that do nothing else than graphically point out what a sad waste of sperm and eggs you areso you don't have to acknowledge the ones that that make clear just how ignorant you are?
Tue 16/03/04 at 09:36
Regular
"Gundammmmm!"
Posts: 2,339
Finals? Oh deary me, get with the times sir...

Nice fulfilling job you have I see...preparing Hussein's defence are you? Oh you wouldn't be able to would you? You were thrown out of that stupid lawyers thing...ha, spend ages training to be a lawyer only to be thrown out? Nice one.

And, resorting to insults? Well you are a liberal...
Tue 16/03/04 at 09:29
Regular
"Wanking Mong"
Posts: 4,884
Belldandy wrote:
> 5 Posts, plus the usual pompous superior attitude emerging which is
> Light's defence mechanism...
>
> And who do you really think is winding who up here? :D

Hehheheheheh. Well, bearing in mind that I'm not actually angry, and bearing in mind that you're the one who has stomped off 5 times in a huff bleating you'll never come back, and bearing in mind that you're the one who went through the whole Halo Fan debacle, and bearing in mind that you spent a whole afternoon spamming about how upset you were at having the proverbial taken out of you by IB...oh, and bearing mind that you're now resorting to saying "Ahhh, it's his defence mechanism" in an attempt to further ignore the 3 posts that spank your tubby ass red raw...well, I think it's pretty much you who's getting wound up. After all, I'm just skiving work to make you look like an idiot. You've got your finals coming up, and here you are wasting your time responding to the post that point at you and laugh at you for being a fat cowardly retard who has no friends and will only get laid when he's willing to fork out the £30 that a backstreet upright costs in Birmingham these days.

So my dear wobblybottomed boy; are you gonna keep pointing out how condescending I am even though I admit to it myself, or are you gonna show some of those cavernous guts and address the fact that you've gotten it all wrong again? Maybe you'd like to fake some more moral outrage for my amusement? C'mon Bell, lets see it!
Tue 16/03/04 at 09:10
Regular
"Gundammmmm!"
Posts: 2,339
5 Posts, plus the usual pompous superior attitude emerging which is Light's defence mechanism...

And who do you really think is winding who up here? :D
Tue 16/03/04 at 09:07
Regular
"Wanking Mong"
Posts: 4,884
Belldandy wrote:
> Exxxxccceeelent. 4 Posts, barely a sentence actually on topic, like
> this one ironically.


Bwah ha ha haaaa! 4 posts, 3 of which explain in easy stages just why you've acted like a tory MP faced with a comedienne telling fart jokes. 1 post which, by it's own admission, is not on topic and is purely for taking the proverbial. Here's a pop quiz; see if you can guess which one brave ol' Bell concentrates on?

I was wrong; winding you up into a red faced pant wetting frenzy is still fun.
Tue 16/03/04 at 09:03
Regular
"Gundammmmm!"
Posts: 2,339
Exxxxccceeelent. 4 Posts, barely a sentence actually on topic, like this one ironically.
Tue 16/03/04 at 08:58
Regular
"Wanking Mong"
Posts: 4,884
Belldandy wrote:
>
> BTW, any of you care to go back to the actual topic rather than
> whining at me because your cynicism was proved wrong? Or are we
> trying to deflect attention from that?

Heh. Bell, I think you'll find that the only attention deflecting is you trying to twist out of missing the point. Again. My whining at you (you still love using the same verbal quirks as me, don't you? You know what they say about imitation...) has nothing to do with Goatboy. You...you can tell the difference, can't you? Or do you assume that we're one in the same cos, hey, it wouldn't be realistic if more than one person thought you were a laughable doughboy who's only experience of women comes from anime.

P.S. Yes, I am just making fun of you for no reason. Because it's funny.
Tue 16/03/04 at 00:21
Regular
"Infantalised Forums"
Posts: 23,089
I've even taken a small bit for you to read, hopefully to explain even to not-reading-humourless asshats like you what the purpose of this post was:


"Indeed, it would appear that people are only too happy to read scare stories in tabloid newspapers and view strangers with fear and suspicion.
The Daily Mail knew exactly who is to blame in a 3-page pullout entitled
”Gays! Evil single mum muslim gays die die die”.

This article played up to the stereotype of the illegal immigrant smuggling themselves over inside a banana to move in next door to your granny and try to tempt her into Islam with a nice bit of fish (probably a BOMBFISH!!!!) and also managed to suggest that teenagers having sex were part of the problem."

Is there ANY confusion over the point of this topic yet Bell?
Or shall we go back over the part where you say you've seen no evidence the media is laying the blame at Al-Qaeda's door, only to then two posts later say that evidence points towards Al-Qaeda?
Hmmmmmmmmmmm?

All together now:
"I'll never admit to misunderstanding the point of this topic, and will now proceed to spend the next two weeks twisting myself in every tightening knots in an attempt to try and not appear stupid, whereapon I shall leave for 2 weeks in a huff"
Tue 16/03/04 at 00:15
Regular
"Infantalised Forums"
Posts: 23,089
Belldandy wrote:
> I'll now await Gotaboy/Light to continue squabbling rather than
> actually try discuss the topic
-------

The topic is a post by me highlighting the thoughtless national media immediately leaping on the al-qaeda train before the smoke has settled.
Hence the title of the post.

So yes, let's get back to the topic. The topic I created, and everybody understood apart from you, who has yet again completely misunderstood the original point of the topic and is looking dumb.
Again.

And you can't disagree about the original topic, because I wrote it and I'm telling what it was about.
Tue 16/03/04 at 00:11
Regular
"Infantalised Forums"
Posts: 23,089
Belldandy wrote:
> Goatboy "wah people are saying it's Al Qaeda and I am right and
> they are wrong, though I have no evidence and have made fun of every
> single time the government has warned Britain may be a target"

> Evidence emerges it is more than likely Al Qaeda.
>
> Goatboy (+ sundry hangers on) "wah nasty Belldandy didn't make
> any assumptions who did it but we all did and said it wouldn't be Al
> Qaeda - Belldandy has no evidence (like us when we made fun of people
> saying it would be Al Qaeda) but he's wrong. Wah etc"
>
> Carry on...
----------

*reads again*
You are quite possibly the stupidest person on the face of this planet.
I shall explain, once. Stop whacking off to anime and pay attention for a moment.

Goatboy wrote a post highlighting the fact that every single UK newspaper had "Al-Qaeda?" type front page on Friday, hours after the explosion.

Belldandy says
"Belldandy wrote:
> Well I'm still failing to see a great deal of evidence that the media
> is laying the Madrid attacks "firmly on Al-Qaeda"..."

Goatboy points out, as does Snuggly, the national newspapers to ask how Belldandy can say that the media isn't suggesting Al-Queda.
Belldandy is too stupid to remember his post of a few minutes before, and then writes:
"Belldandy's next post
"It could be ETA, but it points more and more to Al Qaeda""
-----

Got it Gump? See your utter (again) stupidity and 180 degree turn?
Shall I show it to you again, Bell?

Belldandy "I'm stll failing to see a great deal of evidence that the media is laying the blame "firmly on Al-Queda"
Goatboy & Snuggly "Every single nation newspaper"
Belldandy "It could be ETA but it points more and more towards Al-Qaeda"

First you rubbish any suggestion media says Al-Qaeda, then you immediately say "Oh well it's Al-Qaeda"
Moron.

Oh, and as for your pious "Well let's see if they think it's funny in Spain or New York"?
It wasn't even about the terrorist attack, you mindless prig of a Jack Ryan wannabe.
It was mocking the media's immediate conclusions and hysteria reporting.

I bet you're the same sort of toehead that wrote demanding Brass Eye be banned after the 2001 Peadophile special aren't you?
You ain't twisting out of this Gump.
You were too thick to realise it was a nonsense post highlighting the sheer idiocy of national newspapers and tried to score points by pointing out inaccuracies in a post that included Al-Qaeda being blamed for obesity in Americans....Muuuuuuuuuuuuuh
And now you're trying to say I got it wrong?

Got what wrong? Pointing out the newspapers immediately start blaming the flavour-of-the-week terror group?
Ummm...they did.

Go back to sleep Bell.

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