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"Sick/Disgusting Jokes..."

A man walks into a field. He says to the farmer, "You only appear to have one cow". The farmer replies, "Ah, but she's a beauty. You can ask her to do anything you want, and she'll do it". The man asks, "What's her name?". The farmer replies, "I called her Pat". The man approaches the cow, stands behind it, and says, "Hello, Pat!". Five seconds later, he has a brown lump on his head.

Two men are talking. One says, "Where's Grandad? I haven't seen him in days". The other man says, "He was in a coughin' fit the other day". the first man asks, "Worse than the one that killed Grandma?". The second man says, "No...the guy actually measured him properly this time".

Any more contributions?

Galacticdramon wrote:

>
> Here are several musical defintions of cruelty...
> "Putting a baby in an oven and singing "Burn Baby
> Burn"
> "Going to an orphanage and singing "Where's your mama
> gone?"
> "Going to a funeral and singing "Staying Alive"
> "Going up to a lilapsophobic and singing "Let's Twist
> Again"

Lol.
Some good'ens.

Call that a joke?!

That last one is pathetic.

Pavarotti is wearing very tight trousers. He bends over. What do the other Tenors sing?

"Moon moon moon moon..."

;)

Did you hear about the cannibal Rapper?

He was caught eating M 'n' Ms. :)

Which SR member absolutely hates meat?

Silent Thunder (he hates Spam) ;)

The Mole wrote:
> There is a man with a lisp who goes around a town one afternoon...
>
> At the bakery
>
> Man : Excuse me, can I have a bum?
>
> Baker : Oh, you must mean a bun, here you go!
>
> At the toy shop
>
> Man : Excuse me, can I have a f*cket?
>
> Seller : Oh, you must mean a bucket, here you go!
>
> At the clock store
>
> Man : Can I have a c*ck please?
>
> Saleswoman : Oh you must mean a clock, here you go!
>
> The man walks into a park and meets an old lady
>
> Lady : Do you have the time?
>
> Man: Hold my bum and f*cket while I get my c*ck out!

The version I heard was "LICKET" instead of Ticket...still great though!

There is a man with a lisp who goes around a town one afternoon...

At the bakery

Man : Excuse me, can I have a bum?

Baker : Oh, you must mean a bun, here you go!

At the toy shop

Man : Excuse me, can I have a f*cket?

Seller : Oh, you must mean a bucket, here you go!

At the clock store

Man : Can I have a c*ck please?

Saleswoman : Oh you must mean a clock, here you go!

The man walks into a park and meets an old lady

Lady : Do you have the time?

Man: Hold my bum and f*cket while I get my c*ck out!

H²O wrote:
> Galacticdramon wrote:
>
> "Going to an orphanage and singing "Where's your mama
> gone?"
>
> "Who's your daddy!" would of been funnier.

Or "We Are Family!"

The ULTIMATE defintion of cruelty...

Forcing an Aussie to watch the final minute of the Rugby World Cup Final! That brings back memories of when I did it to an Australian girl...bwa ha ha ha!

Galacticdramon wrote:

> "Going to an orphanage and singing "Where's your mama
> gone?"

"Who's your daddy!" would of been funnier.