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Now before you start i know this topic has been done before but Kernals one was not a competition unlike this one which is. I will choose the best joke when i feel like it.
At the moment this one is winning:
There was an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman all sitting around a table talking about their sons.
"My son was born on St Georges day," stated the Englishman,"so we obviously decided to call him George."
"What a coincedence," said the scot,"my son was born on St Patrick's day so we called him Patrick."
"That's incredible," the Irishman remarked,"exactly the same thing happened with my son Pancake."
At the moment this one is winning:
There was an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman all sitting around a table talking about their sons.
"My son was born on St Georges day," stated the Englishman,"so we obviously decided to call him George."
"What a coincedence," said the scot,"my son was born on St Patrick's day so we called him Patrick."
"That's incredible," the Irishman remarked,"exactly the same thing happened with my son Pancake."
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My banana! You evil people!
CGJ wrote:
> There was an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are about to have
> lunch and sitting on a bridge.
>
> The englishman opens his lunch and finds he has a ham sandwich. He
> says, "If I have ham again I will through my self off this
> bridge"
>
> The scotsman opens his lunch and finds he has a cheese sanwich. He
> says, "If I have cheese again I will through my self off this
> bridge"
>
> The irishman opens his lunch and finds he has a tuna sanwich. He
> says, "If I have tuna again I will through my self off this
> bridge"
>
> So the next day, the englishman has ham again and chucks himself off
> the bridge
>
> the scotsman has cheese again and chucks himself off the bridge
>
> the irishman has tuna again and chucks himself off the bridge. They
> all die.
>
> So the news teams find out about this and go and interview their
> wives. Of course the are all very distrought. They go and interview
> the irishmans wife. She says, "I don't get it, he made his
> sandwiches himself"
I was about to write that.It's my 'nanna
> There was an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are about to have
> lunch and sitting on a bridge.
>
> The englishman opens his lunch and finds he has a ham sandwich. He
> says, "If I have ham again I will through my self off this
> bridge"
>
> The scotsman opens his lunch and finds he has a cheese sanwich. He
> says, "If I have cheese again I will through my self off this
> bridge"
>
> The irishman opens his lunch and finds he has a tuna sanwich. He
> says, "If I have tuna again I will through my self off this
> bridge"
>
> So the next day, the englishman has ham again and chucks himself off
> the bridge
>
> the scotsman has cheese again and chucks himself off the bridge
>
> the irishman has tuna again and chucks himself off the bridge. They
> all die.
>
> So the news teams find out about this and go and interview their
> wives. Of course the are all very distrought. They go and interview
> the irishmans wife. She says, "I don't get it, he made his
> sandwiches himself"
I was about to write that.It's my 'nanna
CGJ wrote:
> There was an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are about to have
> lunch and sitting on a bridge.
>
> The englishman opens his lunch and finds he has a ham sandwich. He
> says, "If I have ham again I will through my self off this
> bridge"
>
> The scotsman opens his lunch and finds he has a cheese sanwich. He
> says, "If I have cheese again I will through my self off this
> bridge"
>
> The irishman opens his lunch and finds he has a tuna sanwich. He
> says, "If I have tuna again I will through my self off this
> bridge"
>
> So the next day, the englishman has ham again and chucks himself off
> the bridge
>
> the scotsman has cheese again and chucks himself off the bridge
>
> the irishman has tuna again and chucks himself off the bridge. They
> all die.
>
> So the news teams find out about this and go and interview their
> wives. Of course the are all very distrought. They go and interview
> the irishmans wife. She says, "I don't get it, he made his
> sandwiches himself"
CGJ is in the lead with that one....he can have the Golden Bannana for now....
> There was an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are about to have
> lunch and sitting on a bridge.
>
> The englishman opens his lunch and finds he has a ham sandwich. He
> says, "If I have ham again I will through my self off this
> bridge"
>
> The scotsman opens his lunch and finds he has a cheese sanwich. He
> says, "If I have cheese again I will through my self off this
> bridge"
>
> The irishman opens his lunch and finds he has a tuna sanwich. He
> says, "If I have tuna again I will through my self off this
> bridge"
>
> So the next day, the englishman has ham again and chucks himself off
> the bridge
>
> the scotsman has cheese again and chucks himself off the bridge
>
> the irishman has tuna again and chucks himself off the bridge. They
> all die.
>
> So the news teams find out about this and go and interview their
> wives. Of course the are all very distrought. They go and interview
> the irishmans wife. She says, "I don't get it, he made his
> sandwiches himself"
CGJ is in the lead with that one....he can have the Golden Bannana for now....
....so if anyone can come up with a better joke than CGJ's they can have the Golden Bannana for now and so on. Who ever has the Golden Bannana at 7pm tonight wins!!
Get the idea?
....yes master.
I have the golden banana! Go me!
Once there was a man, called Ted, ted wanted to be rich, and one day he desided to visit a gypsie. The gypsie promised him fortune in the form of a house brick. "This brick" she said (notice the quotations, I've gone all out on this one) "is a magical brick, it bounces". Ted took the brick, dropped it on the floor, it bounced back up. He was amazed, this felt like, looked like, a normal house brick. He did it again, again it bounced. "thanks he said" skipping out away, "there is just one thing" the gypsie said, "you must never EVER bounce the brick as hard as you can"
"ok" said ted, running off with his brick. He bounced the brick in pubs, eventually word travelled, he was on the news, he was on TV, he tour-ed with the brick, it brought him fame, stardom and millions of pounds. One day Ted was in a feild and he decided to bounce the brick as hard as he could, he threw it at the ground, it bounced up and, went through the clouds and never returned.
"ok" said ted, running off with his brick. He bounced the brick in pubs, eventually word travelled, he was on the news, he was on TV, he tour-ed with the brick, it brought him fame, stardom and millions of pounds. One day Ted was in a feild and he decided to bounce the brick as hard as he could, he threw it at the ground, it bounced up and, went through the clouds and never returned.
Haha?
sorry EL Pinko but CGJ still has the golden bannana,your going to have to try a little harder to get it.....
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