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"I'm a genius"

Me and a friend were sitting on a bus, a fat lady got on and sat at the front where she then started shouting to someone she knew at the back of the bus. After pointing out the silliness of her not moving to the back to talk to her friend instead of shouting and annoying the whole bus to my friend, I then pointed out that the woman had "...a voice of a 1,000,000 cigarettes...".

Then, earlier in the year, me and 2 friends were waiting to go into an exam when I quipped "...shall we go in now and get the good seats..."

And that my friends, is what makes me a genius.

OPLAR wrote:
> How is that funny? It's AMERICAN humor, and for that reason, Mikelar
> should be shot at dawn. And you for liking it too :0)

and there's me thinking this is Cuban humour. easy mistake to make, im sure you'll agree.

thats strange, there are an awful lot of people getting lost in here. and a tumbleweed just blew in (apparantly)....

anyway, my genius (comic or otherwise) does not allow me to copy, i doubt you've heard ANY of these famous lines anywhere else.

Here's another:

Me, my mother and my father were walking around town where we passed a popular gathering point for tramps/bums and other social rejects. My mother pointed out that one of the tramps who converges there was in the local paper recently to which I sheepishly replied "He didn't win the lottery did he?"

Timmargh wrote:
> mikelar wrote:
> I'd like to see if anyone else has said anything even remotely as
> genius as I.
>
> Are you saying that these things you've said make you feel like a
> comic genius? Each to their own, I suppose.
>
> Me and a friend were walking home from college and it started to
> p**s
> it down, we were really getting soaked. Taking shelter under a tree
> (and noticing my friends black jeans now had a sheen caused by the
> rain that made him it look like he was wearing PVC trousers) I
> blurtted aloud "You look wetter than Neptunes' ass-h**e".
>
> That is funny, although I'm sure I've heard it used before.

How is that funny? It's AMERICAN humor, and for that reason, Mikelar should be shot at dawn. And you for liking it too :0)

VenomByte wrote:
> We weren't allowed to take protractors or compasses into our last
> exam.
>
> Apparently they're cracking down on weapons of maths instruction.

LOL! That was actually quite good.

Well done.

Darling wrote:
> CGJ wrote:
> Paradox wrote:
> EL ® ö B ì Ñ wrote:
> Darling wrote:
> i'm lost!

who? what?

mikelar wrote:
> i done 'em good ma, i done 'em good.

Who did you "do", exactly?

so fake...

VenomByte wrote:
> We weren't allowed to take protractors or compasses into our last
> exam.
>
> Apparently they're cracking down on weapons of maths instruction.

OMG i laughed out loud! What is wrong with me!

CGJ wrote:
> Paradox wrote:
> EL ® ö B ì Ñ wrote:
> Darling wrote:
> i'm lost!